


Rites of Passage

by Tangerine



Category: X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alcohol, Awkward Sexual Situations, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Drug Use, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Rites of Passage, Self-Discovery, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 16:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12821562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine/pseuds/Tangerine
Summary: Shatterstar is weird, and Rictor goes along with it.





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "RITES OF PASSAGE/ COMING OF AGE" prompt for Round 9 of [Trope Bingo](https://trope-bingo.dreamwidth.org/).
> 
> Takes place sometime around X-Force (Vol. 1) #66, but definitely before #67.

Julio had forgotten how stifling he found the X-Mansion. It was a two hour drive to New York City, and with no public transit options to speak of, he'd basically resigned himself to staying in every weekend for the rest of eternity. And really, he didn't miss clubbing so much as he missed dancing. There was no better feeling than limping home on sore feet at dawn. 

“I'm such a fucking virgin,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. 

He glanced at the clock hanging over the fridge. Not even ten yet. He could not, in good conscience, be in bed this early on a Friday. With a sigh, he grabbed an apple off the counter and went to look for Star.

Star was a good bet for two reasons: one, he barely slept as far as Julio could tell, having shared a room with him ever since returning from Mexico, and two, Julio hadn't met anyone else who could handle the way Star watched television, so he'd probably be alone. Not that Julio was an expert or anything – he still could only follow the various plots, like, a third of the time, at best – but he kinda got it now.

Julio found Star in the smallest of the rec rooms, sitting in the dark.

“You care if I join you?”

“No,” Star said, glancing up at him. “Do I ever?”

Julio shrugged, jumping over the back of the couch and sinking into the cushions. “Just trying to be polite. You never know, you might be sick of me by now. Or, I dunno, annoyed by all my snoring.”

“You don't snore,” Star replied, turning his attention back to the TV. “You're an excellent roommate.”

“Aw, thanks, amigo.” Julio grinned into his apple then took a large bite. “So what are we watching?”

It was Shatterstar's turn to shrug, which was odd enough that Julio actually looked at the screen. Star definitely had preferences, and they tended towards loud, fast and bright, which Julio never minded, because he liked the mindless distraction. But Star seemed to be watching a bunch of teen dramas. 

“This is new,” Julio remarked, taking another bite. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Shatterstar shook his head.

“Well, if you change your mind,” Julio said, but Star had already tuned him out, and Julio knew better than to get between Star and his television shows. 

Julio finished his apple then tugged the blanket hanging on the back of the couch over him, cocooning himself. Of the four things Star was watching simultaneously – two movies, two TV shows – Julio had seen exactly one of them, but a long time ago, probably forced on him by Tabs during their wards of X-Factor days. 

It didn't take long for Julio to realize this was going to be one of the two-thirds nights, where he couldn't follow a single plot line, because all the characters looked and sounded the same. He wasn't tired enough to nap, but he was also too comfortable to get up and find something else to do.

Just when he was about to cry mercy and beg Star to pick just one thing to watch for those poor bastards in the room with simple human brains, Star asked, “do you feel like you missed out?”

“On what?”

“High school.”

“No,” Julio replied, a little too quickly, and Star looked over at him. “I mean, dude, come on. No.” 

“You were unpopular?” Shatterstar asked, sounding startled, like it was impossible to believe, and Julio would have laughed if Star hadn't so accurately hit upon one of the sorer points in Julio's history. 

“You may find this hard to believe, but nobody besides you has ever really thought I was cool,” Julio replied, pulling the blanket more securely around his shoulders. “I mean, everyone knew who my father was. It was all over the fucking news, and nobody was really lining their kid up to be my friend.”

“That was very stupid of them,” Star said, frowning deeply.

“I guess,” Julio replied, feeling weirdly flustered for no explainable reason. This wasn't even an embarrassing question. “And fuck, I didn't even make it through _secundaria_ , so whatever. I finished my GED here. I didn't miss out on anything.” Julio paused. “Do you feel like _you_ missed out on something?”

Shatterstar thought about it then nodded. “Sometimes.”

“If it's any consolation,” Julio poked Star in the hip with his toe, “you would have been cool as shit.”

Star made a face then turned back to the television, signalling the end of that. _Oookay_ , Julio thought, turning onto his side, resolving to at least pretend to pay attention to the TV, but Star was acting weird. Weirder even than normal Shatterstar weird, Julio amended quickly, which was pretty fucking weird.

 _Did_ Julio feel like he missed out on something? He didn't think so, but his life had changed so much after his powers manifested that it was hard to imagine what life could have been like if they hadn't. Or if he had returned to Mexico and gone onto _bachillerato_. It probably wouldn't be that different, if he was being honest. He'd still only have a handful of friends, still be a virgin, still be ... questioning.

Julio almost laughed at himself. _Questioning_. Sure, brain, let's call it that. 

When the two movies ended, Shatterstar turned off the television then just sat there, in the dark, for another five minutes without saying anything. Did he think Julio was asleep? No, Julio decided quickly, Star always knew when someone was faking something. Their breathing or whatever gave them away.

“Anything you want to ask,” Julio said quietly, “just ask.”

“Have you ever ...” Shatterstar paused, the line of his mouth drawn tight, and Julio poked him with a toe again.

“Anything,” Julio reminded him. 

Star took a deep breath then asked, in rapid Spanish, “have you ever ... fooled around with ... anyone on the team,” he paused and took another breath, then added quickly, “like on television.”

“Um, well. Tabs and I dated a bit when we were, like, fourteen,” Julio replied, also in Spanish, feeling his face heat because what the fuck, where was this coming from. He was grateful it was dark, but he was also sure Star could hear the rapid beat of his heart. “But like, beyond a few sloppy kisses, no.”

“Why not?”

“I mean, I don't know, I just ... don't get into situations like that,” Julio mumbled, sitting up and pushing the blanket down to this waist, not a cool bone in his body at the moment, even by Star's very lax standards. He turned to face Star, whose eyes were wide and curious beneath two very serious eyebrows. “I mean, no one's ever ... and I don't know how ... and I just. No one's interested, dude.”

“How do you know?”

“Because even when everyone's drunk and we're partying and stuff, nobody ever ... and like, that's not totally on them. It's me, too.” Julio was aware he was babbling, but he could not stop himself, not with Star looking at him like that. “I'm just not ... I'm ... I mean, I'm pretty far down the list, you know?”

“There's a list?” Star asked, because of fucking course that was what he latched onto. 

“No, I mean. I guess, kinda? You're at the top of the list, and I'm basically at the bottom. Maybe above Caliban, which holy shit, is the meanest thing I've said in my life,” Julio groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. “What I'm trying to say is that ... this isn't like high school. We have to work together.”

“Do high school students not have to attend high school together?”

“There's more of them,” Julio muttered weakly, “so it's easier to pretend it never happened.”

“I see,” Star said, and Julio could basically see the damage he was doing to Star's future relationships. 

“Ugh, dude, just remember who you're talking to, all right? I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about,” Julio said, crossing his arms and sinking back into his nest of blanket and cushions. “If you want to fool around with someone, just ask them. I mean, the worst thing that happens is they're not interested, and you have to spend a couple days being awkward with each other before getting over it.”

Shatterstar digested his words, and of all the shit Julio had spewed tonight, he hoped Star would at least listen to that. It was still strange knowing that Star even thought about stuff like this. Julio wondered idly who he was interested in. Terry, probably. They seemed a lot more friendly than he remembered.

“Are you interested?” Shatterstar finally asked, startling Julio out of his thoughts. “With me?”

Julio credited the fact that he had seem some serious shit in his life that he was able to keep his expression blank. He was also grateful that Star was still speaking in Spanish, because any word of English he had ever learned had disappeared straight out of his head. Even then, he didn't know what to say. A bunch of thoughts crossed his head at once: what the fuck, why is this happening, yeah.

“I made you uncomfortable,” Star said stiffly. “I apologize. I misread the situation.” 

Star got up to leave, quick enough that Julio barely had time to react, but he managed to get his fingers around Star's left wrist. “I didn't say no, Star,” Julio said, “just give me a second to process it, okay?”

“Okay.”

Julio was actually reasonably confident that Star wouldn't fuck anything up if the whole thing went sideways, but he couldn't say the same about himself. He couldn't lose this, their friendship, not when he finally understood how rare it was to find someone who just got him. And Shatterstar – extra-dimensional alien from another time, who he should have had nothing in common with – got Julio.

But he also couldn't lie and say his interest in Star was strictly platonic, because it wasn't, and it hadn't been for a long time. He had thought Star was a safe guy to crush on, and he'd clearly been wrong. 

“Just forget it, Julio,” Star said. 

“Holy shit, dude, you know I overthink personal stuff. Just give me a second,” Julio repeated. 

“It never takes this long on television.”

Julio tugged on Star's wrist until Star sat back down, settling much closer than he had been before, Julio's knee pressed against his hip. “What do you want to do? Like, how far do you want to take this?”

Shatterstar shrugged, looking miserable, and yeah, this probably was a lot easier on television. 

“I'll make out with you,” Julio heard himself say, with more confidence than he felt, “if you want.”

“Only if you want to,” Shatterstar replied, spine straight as a board, staring straight ahead. 

“Jesus, dude, come on. There's nothing you could do to make me do anything anything I don't want to. Head to head in a fight, I wouldn't even give you a chance to do anything. I'd open the ground straight under you and swallow you whole,” Julio said frankly, and Shatterstar tightened his lips but nodded. 

“Okay, so, um, look at me,” Star turned to him, and Julio lifted his hands and put them on Star's face, “and okay, just.” He pulled his thumb over Star's lower lip, trying to relax him a bit, and Star obediently opened his mouth just enough that Julio had something to work with. “Okay, stay like that.”

“For how long?”

Not long, it turned out, because Julio shocked himself with how easy it was to lean forward and press his mouth against Star's. Julio had come a long way since he was fourteen. He knew he was a good kisser, had made out with enough people to be confident in what he liked and didn't like and could make reasonable guesses about what his partners wanted from him, but Star was basically a blank slate.

“You have to kiss me back,” Julio murmured, thumbs massaging beneath Star's ears, “and try to relax.”

Shatterstar exhaled sharply, and there it was, the opening Julio had been looking for. He tilted his head a little more, slotted their mouths together and flicked his tongue along Star's lower lip. It was a little more aggressive than what he usually tried with strangers, but Star responded to it, finally moving his own mouth, with a sweet, startled gasp. And yeah, that was better, lips sliding together, wet and hot.

Julio was keenly aware that even thought it was dark and late, the door was wide open, so he wasn't as chill as he could have been, but it was hard to think rationally with Star's hot mouth against his lips. The position wasn't the most comfortable, so he laid back, straightening his legs and pulling Star over him. One fleeting worry crossed his brain – fuck, he's going to feel my hard-on – and then it was gone. 

Even though it was dark, the windows were uncovered, and as Julio's eyes adjusted, the moon provided just enough light that Julio could make out the shadowy details of Star's face. Star stared at him with startled eyes, pupils blown wide, propped up by two very straight arms, and Julio bent one of his knees, pressing his thigh to Star's hip. It was easy enough then to tug Star down for another attempt at kissing.

“Relax,” Julio murmured, his fingers on Star's face again. “I can take your weight.”

Star frowned deeply, clearly reluctant, then admitted with a pained expression, “I'm erect.”

“Me too. Don't worry about it. It's a normal reaction. Okay?”

Star nodded, settling his lower body down, slotted between Julio's legs. Star's left elbow rested by Julio's ear, his forearm braced on the armrest behind Julio's head, keeping his torso propped up. That was probably for the best, Julio thought. Any semblance of self control he had seemed tenuous at best. 

It had been a while since Julio had made out with someone like this. A few people while out clubbing, pressed up together against walls, music throbbing in their ears, but even those encounters didn't compare: two bodies twisted up on a ridiculously too small couch, quiet except for the sounds of their mouths together and the exciting little hitches their breathing made from time to time.

Julio kept his hands limited to Star's head and neck, but Star kept his one free hand on Julio's chest, fingers flexing in the thin fabric of his t-shirt under his arm. His hips remained pinned to the couch, unmoving, the blanket bunched around his waist, and he focused on enjoying Star's mouth. From time to time, he pressed out with his tongue, and on the fourth time, Star pushed back. Julio swallowed his groan, digging his fingers into Star's jaw, and continued to kiss him, taking the time to really enjoy it.

Julio wasn't sure how long Star planned to do this, and he wasn't too eager to put a time limit on it either, but the decision was made for them. Without warning, Star flattened on top of him completely, his hand replacing his lips over Julio's mouth. Julio hadn't appreciated how much weight Star had been putting onto his arm until he'd stopped. His cock pressed against Julio's stomach, huge and hard. 

“Where the fuck is Ric?” 'Berto said, audibly annoyed, in the doorway of the room. “He's been after me for this beer for ages. I'm giving him another five minutes, and if I still can't find him, I'm drinking it.”

Tabs laughed, but she sounded farther away. “Not alone, you aren't. Come on, I'm starving. Let's raid the kitchen then party.”

“His loss,” 'Berto said, and whatever he said after that, Julio couldn't catch, but Shatterstar didn't move for another minute. When he finally did, he sat up and pulled away, one hand spread over the back of his neck. Julio pulled himself to a sitting position, grateful for the blanket. He shouldn't have worn sweatpants.

“Thank you,” Star said formally, and Julio nodded. “I believe I will go to bed.” 

“Yeah,” Julio agreed, shrugging the blanket over his shoulder, then ran a hand discretely over his lips. Making out with guys always had the potential to be hell on his mouth, but Star hadn't been particularly stubbly, even this late at night. Still, his lips definitely felt well used. At least the hallway was dimmed.

Star left first, hands dug deep into the pockets of his jeans, and Julio lagged behind, casual, unassuming. When they passed the men's bathroom, he stopped, tilted his head and said, “I just gotta stop in here. Leave the door unlocked. I don't think I brought my key.”

By the way Star's eyes dropped from his face, Julio knew he wasn't fooling anyone, but he also knew his own body, and if he tried to sleep like this – keyed the fuck up, cock unrelentingly hard, shorts damp with pre-come – he'd just wake up tomorrow with wrecked sheets and jizz drying on his belly.

“There's someone in there,” Star said quietly, glancing at the door. “Our room would be more private.”

“I'll wait. I'm not gonna make you stand out in the hall,” Julio replied, keeping his voice equally low. 

There were really too many mutants with enhanced senses to be having this sort of conversation in a hallway. Star did have a point – the room was soundproof, if nothing else – but he wouldn't do that to him. It seemed like a real dick move to kick a guy out of his own room so his roommate could jerk off. 

Star leaned in, lips grazing Julio on the cheekbone, and murmured in his ear. “I would do it, too.” 

From the red splotches crawling up his neck, Julio got the sense that Star hadn't expected that to come out as obscene as it did. What the fuck had Star been watching on television without him? Julio stared numbly, feeling a little weak in the knees, then nodded once. If anything, that made Star blush harder.

It was thanks to years of muscle memory that his legs walked him back to their room. Something insane happened? Sleep it off. Hurting everywhere? Just get to bed. Strange alien best friend suggesting they jerk off in the same room together? Julio's legs knew what to do even if the rest of him didn't.

In the room, the lights stayed off, but there was still enough ambient light trickling under the door from the hallway that he could see what he was doing. Letting the blanket drop at his feet, Julio hooked a hand in his t-shirt and yanked it over his head. His fingers hesitated at his sweatpants, then his thumbs took over and tugged them down. After a slight pause, he removed his shorts too, sliding naked into his unmade bed.

Risking a glance at Star, Julio saw he'd also undressed, just a little less careless about where he threw his clothes. He quickly turned away – he wasn't sure if he was allowed to look – but the image of Star standing there, naked, the muscles in his back tapering off to his equally defined ass, red hair out of the ponytail and hanging loose to his waist, the image would be burned into his eyes for the rest of his life.

Finally, Star laid down in his own bed, the mattress creaking under his weight, and then, nothing. Julio frowned at the ceiling. Was he supposed to start first? He was afraid he wasn't going to last ten seconds if he put his hand anywhere near his cock right now, but he was also aware of how late it was, and he vaguely remembered agreeing to train with Domino the next morning. 

When Star still hadn't moved, Julio decided just to go for it. The longer he overthought everything, the more exhausted he felt, and he really didn't want to wash his bedding tomorrow. He put one hand over his dick as he slid the sheets down his legs with the other, just low enough that he wouldn't make a mess. The cooler air felt amazing on his overheated skin, and if Star could see him, well, it was probably only fair.

Julio made a fist with his hand, starting with a few loose pulls then tightening his grip. He groaned at that, unable to swallow it, and chewed his lower lip between his teeth, still raw from their make out session. Right, that happened, Julio thought, dazed, rolling his shoulders into the mattress, stroking harder. 

He also wasn't so far out of it that he didn't notice Star had finally started jerking off, too. Was he allowed to look? Was he supposed to? Shit like this did not happen to him. For as long as he'd known Star, half the team had been trying to get him to react, desperate to make him loosen up and have fun, to fool around. Julio had pretended not to notice, because Star hadn't shown any interest, not once. 

Until now.

Stop fucking _overthinking_ , Julio told himself, and looked over at Star, who was staring back at him.

Julio came quickly, without warning, coating his abs with long, glistening stripes of come. 

Star made a sudden surprised noise, just a small little thing, and Julio was helpless to look away. That was the second image that would stay with him forever: the stunned expression on Shatterstar's face as he orgasmed with a breathy gasp. Julio sincerely hoped that did not mean what he thought it meant.

Julio rolled over and grabbed his discarded t-shirt from the floor, scrubbing it over his stomach. Star was still on his back, his hand held in front of his face, and Julio reached around until he found something that smelled somewhat clean. He tossed it in Star's direction, who caught it without looking. 

“You okay?” Julio asked, looking over. “That escalated quickly.”

“I'm fine,” Star replied, wiping his fingers with what Julio now recognized as his favourite shirt, _mierda_. 

“Are you freaking out?”

Star turned his head to look at him, his expression pinched. “Julio, _please_.”

“Okay, okay. Just trying to be a good friend,” he mumbled, pretty confident Star had had just about enough of his brand of friendship, at least for tonight. He turned onto his back, yanking his sheets up, and thought briefly about finding his underwear, but suddenly the bone-tiredness was hard to ignore, and well, yeah. No use worrying, Julio told himself bravely, what's done is done, just live with it now.

He was never going to be able to wear that shirt again.


	2. Saturday

Julio woke up to his alarm, comfortably cocooned in his blankets. He glanced over to Star's empty bed, neatly made right down to the perfect military corners. With a yawn, he sat up and untangled himself before walking over to his dresser, rooting around for a clean pair of briefs. Still half asleep, he tugged them up his legs and over his straining cock. Probably need to deal with that, Julio thought blearily.

He kicked around on the floor until he found his uniform, then picked it up and took a sniff. Not great, he admitted, but not the worst. It was only then he noticed the shirt on his bedside table, folded up with a very obvious come stain dried across the front of it. Not my come, he realized in a daze. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, sitting back down on his bed. “Star, you are such a fucking weirdo.”

Unable to stop staring at the shirt, Julio stuck his hand into his shorts and pulled his cock out. It's fine to look at it, he told himself magnanimously, but that's all, you fucking pervert. He was so wound up that it only took a couple minutes of forceful stroking before he came into his palm with a low moan.

He found the same t-shirt he had used last night and wiped his hand on it, then he balled it up with the other shirt – Star's shirt, his brain helpfully added – and stuffed them both into the laundry basket. He finished getting dressed, stopped by the bathroom for a quick piss and vigorous scrubbing of hands, then made a second stop at the dining hall to stuff his face full of carbs before finally heading outside.

He found Domino at the very edge of the grounds, away from any buildings. He still wasn't convinced this was the best idea, but Cable had put it into his learning plan, Julio only agreeing if Domino oversaw the training instead of him. He didn't have the control over his powers he needed – he knew that even without Cable pointing it out, thanks – and he had a lot of untapped potential, but what he _could_ do worked fine for him. Focusing the vibratory wave was a lot safer than the alternative. 

“Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?” Domino asked as he walked up, wishing he had grabbed coffee.

“I'm fine,” Julio replied with a glare, then looked around. “Are we sure it's okay if I rip up the lawn?”

Domino shrugged. “It's been cleared with the X-Men. It's just grass. You want the Danger Room?”

“No, I. This is fine. This feels better,” he admitted, scratching a hand over the back of his neck, and Domino nodded. His power felt different – more powerful, for sure, but better in his head, too – when using it out in the open than it did when layers of metal and concrete separated from him and the Earth.

They worked on a few drills for over two hours – Domino barking at him to stop being so fucking _reluctant_ , and Julio swearing back, trying not to destroy everything in the general vicinity. It was hard fucking work, and he was pretty sure they'd made zero progress, but in the end, the Mansion was still standing, and the lawn didn't look too bad, considering. Domino left him on the grass, arm thrown over his eyes as he bathed in the sun, exhausted. 

Why couldn't anyone understand how fucking _big_ his power was? 

He ended up napping until lunch. The dining hall had a few random X-Men in it, but none of X-Force, and he wasn't in the mood to be particularly friendly, so he made himself a sandwich, loading up on cheese, mayo and deli meats, and took the plate back to his room. He made a brief stop at the rec room from last night to see if Star was around, but it was empty. Their room, likewise, held no sign of him.

No big deal, Julio assured himself, chewing his suddenly tasteless sandwich, Star is probably off doing Shatterstar things, like working out, or killing things. Or fooling around, his brain helpfully supplied.

No, there was zero chance Star was going to try that again, with somebody else, at least so soon. That expression on his face – Julio shook his head, refusing to think about it, and went to take a shower.

The rest of the day passed slowly. The team was in a weird sort of holding pattern, waiting for something, anything, to happen. He even stopped by to see Cable, to check if there were any new assignments he could pick up, but there was literally nothing going on there either. Julio left before Cable could ask him how the training with Domino had gone, walking out as Cable was mid-sentence.

It was such a dickish move that Julio almost turned right around to apologize. 

By dinner, Julio was willing to admit Star was avoiding him. He didn't show up to eat at the usual time, and when Jimmy asked where Star was and if he was concerned that Star was probably out there starving to death, Julio just shrugged. He didn't make excuses; he didn't try to explain Star's behaviour. He was worried, if he tried to say anything on the subject, everyone would just _know_ what happened. 

“Hey,” 'Berto said, elbowing him as Julio poked listlessly at his pasta. “Where were you last night?”

“Early night,” Julio replied, spearing one lone rigatoni with his fork and forcing it into his mouth. “Training with Domino this morning. She kicked my ass.”

'Berto leaned in conspiratorially, “I got you beer, but you sleep like the fucking dead, so I drank it.”

“Gee, thanks,” Julio replied, not even faking the sarcasm, and 'Berto laughed loudly.

“I'll get you next time,” 'Berto promised, smacking him hard on the back. “Anyone up for the movies?”

Julio begged off, absolutely not feeling it tonight, and finished his pasta alone. He washed his plate, putting it back in the cupboard, then weighed his options, when there was only one thing he could logically do now: he had to find Star before either of them talked themselves into a lifetime of celibacy. 

He checked every room that had a TV, the Danger Room, the training rooms, the outdoor and indoor basketball courts, the various men's bathrooms, the meeting rooms, the classrooms. He even stopped by the dining hall again, just in case, but no one there had seen Shatterstar since that morning at breakfast. He'd even taken the time to describe what Star looked liked, rightfully assuming nobody actually knew who he was beyond strange redhead with the swords from Mojoworld who loved to workout. 

There was a brief interlude in his search where he stopped to make Star a large, protein-heavy sandwich and stuffed two apples into the pockets of his jeans. He wrapped the sandwich in paper towel.

He headed outside, immediately wishing he had put on a sweater, then started to look around. The grounds of the X-Mansion were enormous, and he was sure, if he had been able to live up to Cable's lofty expectations, he could have used his power to somehow, like, echo locate Star or something.

Just when Julio was about to give up, he found Star, sitting in the middle of the ruined grass from that morning. He looked up when Julio approached but didn't otherwise move, so that was something. Julio wasn't even mad, which surprised him, knowing his own temper, but he kinda understood where Star was coming from – this shit was hard to figure out sometimes – just maybe not for the same reasons.

Julio sat down, holding out the sandwich, and Star took it from him. He dug the apples out of his pockets then laid back, silently stargazing while Star ate, two hands holding the sandwich to his mouth. He stayed hunched over, legs crossed, and Julio resisted the urge to place a hand on Star's lower back. 

“I believe I freaked out,” Star finally said, as he finished the last of the crust.

Julio smiled. “I noticed. It's okay. Live and learn, right?”

Star sighed then settled on his back, shoulder to shoulder with Julio, staring up at the sky. Julio found his gaze drawn to Star instead of the things above them. His profile was strikingly handsome: serious brow, straight nose, perfect lips, with chiselled cheekbones and a strong jaw. He really was the most attractive person Julio had ever met, which made it easy to forget how different the rest of him was, inside. 

“I thought you would be more reluctant,” Star admitted, looking mortified, and Julio laughed a little.

“Yeah, sorry. It turns out I think with my dick sometimes.”

He said it jokingly, but then Star looked over at him and glanced down, just briefly, which was enough to make Julio harden in his jeans. It really didn't take much even on the best of days, he thought ruefully, resisting the urge to roll onto his belly. It was dark enough that maybe Star hadn't noticed.

“Was that your first time jerking off?” Julio asked, since they were being honest. 

“Yes,” Star said then frowned. “Was it obvious?”

“Nah, not till the end. It's okay to do it, you know. In case no one has told you.”

“How often?”

“As often as you need to,” Julio replied easily, forcing himself to be cool with this conversation. He had told Star he could talk to him about shit like this, and he was a man of his word, if nothing else. “If you want to, just kick me out of the room or something, I don't mind. You can do it in the showers, too, but there's a chance someone walks in on you, especially while we're here, so keep that in mind.”

Star contemplated that, and Julio mentally commended himself for how maturely he had handled this situation so far. Shatterstar had walked head-first into an emotional mess, and Julio had managed to go against his own nature and at least attempt to help him out of it. It helped that Star hadn't asked the obvious question – the one Julio was terrified of anyone asking – but so far, so good, he thought. 

“And it is inappropriate to masturbate if you are in the room?”

Julio made a face, feeling his confidence crumble slightly, and shrugged. “I dunno. Probably.”

At that answer, Star rolled over and looked at him, propped up on his elbows, long red ponytail hanging over his shoulder. What a weird conversation, Julio thought, staring back, what a weird fucking life.

“Would you like to fool around again?” Star asked, finally, breaking the strange silence. Julio eyes flicked away, into the distance and the hugeness of the Mansion grounds, and Star added, “if you are uncomfortable here, we can go to our room. I know you get cold easily.”

“It's fucking _freezing_ out here,” Julio agreed quickly, sitting up before adding, “and yeah, sure. Okay.”

Star frowned at him. “Is this your brain or your penis speaking?”

“A little bit of both,” Julio admitted with a grin, grabbing the two forgotten apples and tossing one to Star. “Eat that. Jimmy was concerned you were going to starve to death when you missed dinner.”

Star inclined his head. “Thank you for the sandwich.”

“De nada,” Julio replied easily, like this whole thing was no big deal, and maybe it really wasn't. He couldn't imagine messing around with anybody else on the team, for various, occasionally complicated, reasons, but if he was into it and Star was game, he couldn't see why not. Their friendship was solid. 

Or maybe that was just his dick speaking. Hard to tell, really, and it was just a little kissing anyway.

He was actually pretty calm, all things considered, until they approached the X-Mansion, and he saw Cable out on the back patio, talking to Domino and a couple of the X-Men. Julio knew his mental shields were basically impenetrable except in extreme cases, but he doubted Star had anything close. 

Julio changed course without saying a word, and Star dutifully followed behind him. Cable would find out eventually, he had no doubt of that, but if he could delay the day of reckoning, he would. He told himself it was because he wasn't even sure what Star ultimately wanted from him. Maybe nothing, and that was fine, but telepaths made him really fucking anxious, especially when it came to shit like this.

He had basically talked himself out of everything by the time they got to the room. 

And then, the minute the door was closed, Star cupped him around the face and kissed him.

Fuck it, Julio decided, twisting his hand in Star's thin t-shirt, it's back on. He pulled Star in the direction of his bed, breaking the kiss to sit down on the mattress then waiting for Star to join him. Star hesitated for a moment, like he hadn't considered they weren't just going to stand the entire time, then slid onto the bed. This time, Julio didn't tug him down any further. The bed seemed way different than the couch.

It wasn't as comfortable, the cool wall hard against his back, but he felt more in control. He kept his hands low around Star's torso, using Star's shirt for support, and tried not to react too much to Star's fingers on his face, tentatively moving against his skin. It was embarrassingly gentle, and if one of the many strangers Julio had made out with in his life had tried it, he would have stopped them. But Star probably hadn't touched many people in his life, and definitely not like this, so Julio didn't stop him. 

A day later, Star was already a much improved kisser, more relaxed, more willing to take the initiative. He still seemed surprised when Julio responded eagerly to a tongue pushing at his or when he slid one hand under Star's shirt, pressing hot against his naked skin. It wasn't precisely where his hand wanted to be, but he continued to let Star control the pace. Slow, leisurely, wet kissing, full mouth, with tongue.

“Okay, I need a break,” Julio said eventually, pulling away reluctantly. Star blinked at him, pupils blown wide, lips glistening and slightly parted, like he wanted to ask why, so Julio cut him off before he could say anything. “I just need a minute or two to calm the fuck down before I wreck these jeans.”

“Semen wrecks jeans?”

“Not literally, but I'm too old to come in my pants just because I'm finally seeing a little action,” Julio said, thumping his head lightly against the wall behind him. “Kissing really gets me hot, amigo, sorry.”

Star shifted his hips on the mattress, leaning forward a little. “Have you kissed a lot of people?”

“Not recently, but yeah, probably, I mean, most people would say I have.”

“Men and women?”

Julio closed his eyes and nodded, taking a deep breath then letting it go. Don't ask, he thought, please.

Thankfully, Star plowed on, single-minded in his questioning. “Then why are you still a virgin? Television leads me to believe that is the logical conclusion if both partners are interested.”

Julio snorted, opening his eyes. Of fucking course Star was serious, and Julio had a vision of years from now, everyone not being at all surprised that television and the social guidance of Julio Richter hadn't been enough to turn Shatterstar into a normal human being. “It's not that easy, Star. For me.”

“But you are _so_ attractive,” Star said disbelievingly.

“Look,” Julio said, feeling his face heat up, crossing his arms and glancing away, as if either action helped him deal with Star looking at him like that, “I appreciate the sentiment, but it's complicated.” Julio turned back to him and asked, a little spitefully, “why haven't _you_ fucked anyone yet?”

“A warrior does not go onto the battlefield unprepared,” Star muttered, unable to hide the hint of petulance in his voice, and Julio laughed a little, just enough that the weird seriousness between them eased a bit. “I take your point.” He paused briefly then added, “thank you for being so honest with me.”

“I said I would help.”

Star looked over at Julio through his long lashes, one hand pulling lightly at his ponytail, tugging it against his own neck. The mood shifted again, sliding back into something headier, especially since Star wasn't at all subtle about the way he looked at Julio's mouth. “May we resume then?”

“Kissing?”

“Unless you wish to masturbate together again,” Star replied, with a shrug. 

“I'm up for whatever,” Julio replied, equally relaxed, at least on the outside. Inside was a fucking mess, in part because Star was beyond human logic – or so Julio thought, willing to admit he wasn't exactly an expert – and in part because Julio wasn't sure how much more kissing he could take without embarrassing himself. His cock pressed hard against his zipper, bordering painful, and he wondered how Star would react if he just took his jeans off. He was clearly terrible at dressing for the occasion.

Star read something in his face and responded to it, dropping his hands to the waistband of his sweatpants and hooking his thumbs into the elastic. Julio straightened, unable to hide his surprise, then immediately regretted it because Star hesitated, a flicker of self-consciousness in his downcast eyes.

Trying not to overthink things, Julio quickly moved his hands to his own waist and popped the button on his jeans before slowly, carefully, tugging the zipper down. He pushed the denim off his hips, lifting his ass to get them to a point he could kick them completely off. With increasing urgency, he tugged off his socks and tossed them away. Beside him, Star did the same: thumbs in his waistband, pulling the fabric down his legs before letting the sweatpants drop in a pile on the floor, followed by his socks. 

Star's white briefs hid absolutely nothing, stretched thin over his cock, laying huge against his belly.

Julio's black boxer-briefs weren't much better, but at least the fabric wasn't so ... translucent. 

“Shirts?” Julio asked quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat, and Star nodded.

Julio shrugged out of his t-shirt and balled it up, tucking it next to him for easy access later. He looked over at Star again, eyes raking over his bare chest. It was literally nothing Julio had not see before – Star had a great body and had never been shy about showing it off, especially when working out, and he worked out _all the fucking time_ – but in this context, Julio could not stop staring like it was brand new.

He could have probably pushed it and talked them both out of their underwear, but it seemed greedy.

Instead, he put his hand over his fabric-covered cock, palming his hard-on briefly before moving up a little and pulling his dick out over the stretched elastic waistband. Star wasn't even bothering to touch himself yet, eyes fixed on Julio's cock, his tongue wetting his lower lip. The insane thing was Julio didn't even think Star was _trying_ to be sexy – he was pretty sure that was his learning things face, too.

Julio pulled his hand back, sliding it over his belly, and let Star look as long as he wanted. 

It was, in Julio's opinion, a pretty nice cock. Slightly above average, without much of a curve, receptive to his touch. And he fucking loved having someone else look at it, he realized with a shiver.

Julio moved his hand back down, gripping himself tightly, his elbow bumping Star just enough that Star's concentration broke. Star slipped his hand into his own underwear, drawing his stiff cock out. With his other hand, Star pushed his briefs down, just a little, revealing the sculpted vee of his groin.

“Fuck, dude,” Julio murmured, stroking himself slowly, gathering the pre-come at the tip of his cock and using it to wet his palm, just enough to ease the almost unbearable friction. Through half-lidded eyes, he saw Star try the same thing, his fingers slicking through the fluid leaking out of his dick, testing. You are a pervert, Julio told himself sternly, he's learning, and there's nothing sexy there. 

There was _everything_ sexy there. 

Julio tilted his head back, closing his eyes, and tried to pretend he was alone, which was impossible with Star breathing hard beside him and the rapid movement of his arm against Julio's, their sweat-soaked skin sliding together. They were probably sitting way too close, but it was too fucking late now.

Star made that same surprised sound from last night, and Julio's eyes snapped open just in time to see Star coat his belly with come, hand moving fast on his cock, stroking himself through his orgasm. Julio's hand slowed a little as he watched Star breath deeply, chest heaving, wanting to draw this scene out just a little longer, but then Star reached out and fucking _slid_ his hand over Julio's naked belly. 

He came so hard he banged his head against the wall, Star's palm pressed tightly against his skin. 

“Shit, warn a guy,” Julio gasped with a laugh, looking down to confirm that he had indeed come all over the back of Star's hand, which was still splayed on his stomach. Star was bright red, that same blotchy blush from yesterday, and Julio patted him comfortingly on the forearm. “I'm just joking.”

“I have no idea what I'm doing,” Star admitted, looking pained, and Julio laughed again.

“Join the fucking club.” He tugged his briefs over his softening cock, then elbowed Star until he removed his hand and did the same. Julio passed Star his balled up t-shirt. “It's okay if you touch me. I'll tell you if I'm not into it. I mean, we've been sucking on each other's tongues for two days.”

“That seemed different,” Star replied, scrubbing the come off his hand and stomach. 

“A little,” Julio agreed, unable to stop a small yawn, then added, “do not fucking avoid me tomorrow.”

“I won't,” Star promised, starting to fold the shirt. He stopped when Julio stared at him. “What?”

“Stop folding your come-soaked shirts, dude, it's _weird_.”

Star raised an eyebrow. “This is the part that is weird?”

“Yeah,” Julio replied, yawning again, feeling himself slip sideways towards his beckoning pillow, “put it in the laundry basket with all the other jizz-covered stuff, like a gentleman. I'll do laundry soon.”

Star rolled his eyes, but he stood up and walked over to laundry basket, stuffing it inside. He began walking to his own bed, stopped midway then hovered over Julio's bed instead, leaning down with one arm braced next to Julio's head and his knee on the mattress, kissing Julio right on his surprised mouth.

“Thank you,” Star said, intensely serious. “You're a very good friend.”

“Sure thing,” Julio heard himself saying, staring straight into Star's eyes an inch away, “any time.”

Star nodded then got up again, turned off the overhead light and settled into his own bed.

Julio shrugged to himself and fell right asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally thought I was going to update this once a week, but now I've convinced myself I can finish it before the end of Trope Bingo amnesty. We shall see.


	3. Sunday

True to his word, Star did not avoid him the next morning, even as Julio bitterly regretted he had said anything. It was too damn early to be awake, but he'd roused with the quiet click of the door as Shatterstar returned from his work out. He rooted around in his dresser for a bit then disappeared again. Julio dozed lightly until Star returned, wearing only a low-slung towel, which he pulled off once the door was closed. Through bleary eyes, Julio watched him walk around as he methodically got dressed.

"Are you awake enough for breakfast?" Star asked, tugging down his sweater.

"I'm not awake enough for anything," Julio moaned, rolling over onto his back and scratching a hand over his stomach. He yawned widely, stretching his shoulders to loosen them. "What's on the menu?"

Star sat down to tie his shoes. "The usual. Bacon, eggs, that sugary bread from France you like."

"I do like French toast," Julio agreed, sitting up with a lurch. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it to settle as he knuckled out the knots. "I definitely need to shower, though. Wait for me?"

"I will," Star promised.

Julio grabbed his shower stuff and padded to the bathroom. It was blissfully empty, which saved him from the stress he usually felt showering around the other guys. It wasn't like he intentionally looked – it was more that occasionally he happened to catch a glimpse like everyone did sometimes and couldn't trust himself not to stare a second too long – but it was just so much easier when the only cock was his.

Are you still _questioning_ , Julio? He asked himself, a little rueful, as if the sight of Star's erect cock wasn't burned into his retinas for all of eternity. He wondered if Star would let him touch it someday. 

He hoped so. 

"Fuck," Julio said, ducking his head on the spray, one arm braced on the cool tile. Hard again, because he couldn't not think about sex for, like, ten minutes, and now it was worse because Star was ... being Star, and Julio had somehow given himself permission to just go along with it, no questions asked.

He beat off quickly. Despite what he told Star, he didn't actually enjoy jerking off in the showers all that much. The threat of discovery wasn't something that particularly got him off, so he just got it over with, pulling hard and fast, letting his brain drift over the images from the last two nights.

After he came, he wiped at the wall until all the evidence was washed away, then resumed showering. Lathered up his hair with shampoo, managed to rinse without getting any in his eyes, then conditioned. While waiting for that to work, he shaved his face quickly – someday, he told himself, you will have a real beard and not this patchy disaster – then used his eyebrow scissors to tidy up around his cock.

When he returned to the room, Star was balanced on his two index fingers, eyes closed. 

Pulling off his towel and tossing it in with the rest of the laundry, he dug around in his top drawer until he found something that still looked like underwear – the laundry situation was now dire, evidently – and tugged them on. Then came the great debate between sweatpants and jeans. One had the potential to be obscene, and the other had the potential to be uncomfortable. It was too cold for board shorts, which Star had opted for. Sweatpants it was, with the compromise of a zipped-up hoodie over his shirt.

"You ready?" Julio asked, dragging a brush quickly through his hair. 

"Yes," Star replied, lowering his legs to the floor and standing up in one fluid motion. 

Still half asleep, he followed Star to the dining hall, pointedly not looking at his ass, and managed to load up a plate with an embarrassing stack of French toast. He stopped by the coffee, spooning in heaping scoop of brown sugar then adding a few shakes of cinnamon before shuffling over to the table, where Terry and Jimmy were sitting, a half-finished crossword puzzle abandoned between them. 

He sat down. 

Terry took one look at him and laughed. "Late night, Ric?"

"Star gets up at the crack of down," he replied, testing to see if the coffee was still too hot. It was. 

"I try to be quiet in the morning," Star said, settling down next to Julio, his plate filled with six eggs, an impressive tangle of bacon and basically the entire bowl of tomato slices. He was, predictably, toting around a giant jug of plain, room temperature water. "You do not normally wake up. I apologize."

"I'm mostly kidding," Julio muttered around a mouthful of French toast. "We can't all have Tabs as a roommate. When we were with X-Factor, I used to have to drag her out of bed for lessons."

"Sometimes I'm tempted to hold a mirror under her nose, just to be sure she's still breathing," Terry admitted.

"How's life with 'Berto?" Julio asked Jimmy, who looked equally exhausted. 

"Fine," Jimmy replied, "except I keep walking in on him, you know." He made a lewd gesture with his hand, and Julio felt Star go still beside him. Under the table, Julio bumped him with his knee, and Star relaxed a little. Terry laughed. "No worse than any other roommate I've had. Keeps the place clean."

"That must be nice," Star muttered as Julio rolled his eyes.

"Jimmy telling you how he has no idea what a sock on the door knob means?" 'Berto asked, plopping down on the other side of Terry. "Life was easier on Murderworld when it came to privacy, but I'm grateful the X-Mansion doesn't try to kill me with booby-traps on a near daily basis. That sucked."

"The only one who liked it was Shatty," Jimmy added, laughing. "You must be bored of out your skull, dude." 

"I am finding ways to pass the time," Star said blandly. 

"Hopefully not the same way as Bobby."

Star tensed again. Julio gave him another bump with his knee, touching a subtle hand to his hip and willing him to just take the teasing like Jimmy mean it: shit talk between teammates who knew way too fucking much about each other. But they didn't have to know everything, and that was important, too. 

"No," Star finally said. "I watch a lot of television, and the training facilities here are impressive."

"Guess you have nothing to worry about, Ric," Jimmy said with a grin. 

"I've roomed with 'Berto before. Why'd you think I was so happy to get Star?"

"I could tell you some stories," 'Berto replied, sliding out of the way before Julio could kick him. From the corner of his eye, Julio saw Terry give Star a weird little look, and Star shook his head briefly. "Bets on when Tabby finally wakes up? I'm thinking noon, but my gut says that might be a little early."

Julio tuned the rest of the conversation out, shovelling French toast in his mouth, dripping with maple syrup. X-Force had done the best they could, with the various places they had settled at since he had joined, but nothing compared to the food the X-Men apparently got on a daily basis. His coffee had cooled enough that it wouldn't strip his tongue of skin, so he washed the sugar down with more sugar.

"Will you _please_ eat some vegetables?" Star asked, horrified. 

" _Silencio_ ," Julio said, laughing. 

After breakfast, they all split up, Shatterstar apologetic when explaining he and Terry had agreed to train together. Julio turned down the invite to join them, part of out laziness and part because Star needed to develop his own relationships with the team. Terry was the best option, all things considered.

This, unfortunately, left him open to Cable, who found him dicking around in the computer lab. 

"Can I help you?" Julio asked, without turning around. 

"Have you given any more thought to taking a few courses through the school here?"

"I told you I wasn't interested in college. What about this life makes you think I need it?"

"You kids can't do this forever," Cable replied, in that father-knows-best voice that always, without fail, grated on Julio's last nerve. Julio didn't have a father because Cable's fucking clone shot him in the head, and while he wasn't stupid enough to hold a grudge against Cable – any more – he still could not handle the careful way Cable approached him. Everyone else got treated normally. It was bullshit. 

"Are you breaking up X-Force or something? Is this why you're constantly on my case?"

Cable sighed deeply, another echo of Julio's own father, and gave up. "Keep training with Dom."

"I plan to," Julio replied, finally looking at him, "not like I have a choice anyway."

Cable regarded him silently for a moment, and Julio had the horrifying feeling he was about to get the if-you-ever-want-to-talk speech, but Cable seemed to think better of it at the last moment. He bowed his head and left the room without saying anything else, leaving Julio to feel like an asshole again. Another thought crossed his mind: is Cable trying to kick _me_ out of X-Force? Could he even do that?

Julio settled on the conclusion that Cable was probably _not_ going to kick him out of X-Force. Not when he could have done it at any time over the past couple years, when Julio was at maximum asshole levels. Compared to then, Julio was actually mellow now.

When he had exhausted all entertaining options online, he ate lunch alone. After, he went back to the room and gathered up all the laundry, his and Star's, then stripped both beds. The basket had a very distinct smell, and he hoped to fuck he didn't run into Jimmy, at best, or Wolverine, at worst, on the way to the laundry room. 

Fucking mutants, Julio thought, hoisting the basket under the arm and moving quickly down the hall.

He made it there without encountering anybody. 

He was not cut out for life in a huge mansion with dozens of other people, all prone to gossip.

He sorted everything quickly, claimed three washers, then pulled up a chair and grabbed a ratty book from the pile. It looked like a historical romance of some ilk, but he hadn't read it before, and he wasn't particularly picky. He didn't mind doing laundry for this reason. It was usually empty, and somebody was always leaving new books that he could finish in the time it took to wash and dry everything. 

He was about a third of the way through when the washers clicked off. After transferring everything over, stuffing a dryer sheet in with each load, he sat back again and continued to thumb through the book. He wasn't quite done when the dryers stopped turning, so he kept reading until he got to the end. 

Stuffing the now clean laundry back into the basket, he turned off the light and returned to the room, where he put on some music – a mix Jimmy had given him, way more relaxed than Jimmy's usual tastes – and started sorting and folding everything. When he came across his favourite shirt, he paused.

"Yep," he muttered, feeling the heat gather in his cock, "never wearing this again."

He thought, briefly, about gifting it to Star, who never shied away from wearing obscenely tight t-shirts, but quickly dismissed the idea. Julio wasn't too keen on being arrested for indecent exposure. 

He finished folding everything then put it all away in their respective dressers. He was just finishing up Star's bed when Star came in, freshly showered again, wearing another towel. Julio hadn't realized how often Star showered until they started rooming together. He thought he'd just smelled like that naturally. 

"Thank you," Star said, when he noticed the now empty laundry basket. "I could have helped."

"It's no problem," Julio replied, focusing his eyes on the dryer fluff stuck to his hoodie. 

"You can look at me," Star said, from behind Julio's shoulders, then added hotly into Julio's ear, "if I have not made that clear." It came out in a rumble, Star's accent hanging thick on the sentence. 

Julio swallowed hard. "No, you've made that pretty clear."

Star stepped back. "Fekt, I am not actually trying to sound seductive when I say these things."

"You have a lot working against you, amigo. The looming over me, the vaguely Scandinavian accent, the fact you keep speaking directly into my ear," Julio said, sitting down on Star's mattress to watch him get dressed, since Star didn't mind. "It didn't help you were basically naked that time either."

"I sound Scandinavian?"

"According to Terry. She's spent a lot of time in Europe. You definitely don't sound American, North or South. You have more of an accent than I do," Julio added, eyes moving over the length of Star's legs as he dragged his underwear up them. He had to get Star out of the tighty-whiteys. Too practical.

"Hm," Star said, stepping into a pair of sweats and yanking them on. "Do we have time before dinner?"

Julio blinked. "For what?"

"Julio," Star said, before crawling onto his bed and pushing him back into the fresh pillows, "this."

They made out leisurely, and when Star asked, "May I?" Julio agreed without really understanding what he was asking. He got it, though, when Star dragged his mouth over Julio's neck. In retaliation, Julio moved his hand down Star's bare back, blunt nails just slightly catching his skin. Star jumped.

"Too much?" Julio asked with a smile, and Star sucked hard, right under his ear. Julio groaned, pushing at Star's shoulder, making him stop, even though it felt fucking amazing. "Dude, come on. Bad idea."

"What?"

"No hickeys," he said seriously, "not where anybody can see them. If you think the team is bad now ..."

"No, yes, I understand," Star nodded, putting his thumb on the place he had kissed. "I apologize."

"Nothing to apologize for," Julio assured him, then murmured, "come here. We still have time to kill."

Eventually, they were interrupted by 'Berto pounding on the door, seeing if they were up for dinner, and Julio shouted back, telling him to stop being so fucking noisy and they'd see him down there in a few. Then he taught Star how to calm himself down, thinking of boner-killing things while breathing deep. 

The sweatpants remained a terrible idea, but at least they were comfortable. 

Dinner was a raucous affair. He opted to sit next to Tabs instead of Star, for reasons, and he didn't say much, Tabs and 'Berto more than happy to fill the void. Jimmy and Terry tried engaging Star in conversation, but he didn't seem to be cluing into what they were trying to do, too focused on eating.

After dinner, Star disappeared down the hall without saying a word, but he brushed one finger against the palm of Julio's hand as he passed him on the way to the doorway, so slight a movement Julio might've missed it if Star didn't have him completely on edge. Julio stopped by the room to grab the blanket he'd stolen two nights and went to that same small rec room. Star already had the TV set up.

"Can we do, like, max two things tonight? My brain already hurts," Julio asked, sliding onto the couch and settling into the plush throw pillows, pulling the blanket over him. Someone really needed to turn up the heat in this house. "I don't even care what those two things are, but please, amigo, take pity."

"As you wish," Star replied, "since I woke you up so early."

" _Gracias._ "

Julio squirmed a bit, trying to get comfortable, then just gave up and stretched his legs across Star's lap. Better, he decided, looking at Star over the edge of the blanket, but Star just stared impassively at the television, getting the remote programmed to switch whatever they were watching at acceptable intervals. More teen dramas, Julio noticed idly, raising an eyebrow, but Star continued to ignore him.

He should have grabbed a bag of chips or something, popcorn, cookies, anything. 

Julio was dozing a little when he felt Star move slightly. Julio started to sit, thinking Star wanted to get up for some reason, but Star's hand moved beneath the blanket, sliding under Julio's hoodie and t-shirt to rest firmly against his belly. Still, Star didn't look at him, eyes set on the flickering TV screen, and his hand stayed where it was, spread big with long fingers on bare skin, thumb brushing back and forth. 

Even two plots seemed impossible to follow tonight. 

Eventually, Star's hand became bolder, movement no longer limited to just his thumb. He turned his hand over and grazed his knuckles against Julio's skin, causing him to contract his abs reflexively. The fucking sweatpants were hiding nothing, and there was no way Star hadn't noticed the erection brushing his forearm. Julio kept his eyes fixed on Star's face and that handsome, arrogant profile. 

He wanted Star's hand on his cock, and he didn't know how to ask for it. Asking for it felt like it meant something bigger, and Julio knew he wasn't fooling anyone – probably not even Star anymore, definitely not himself – but he was still anxious about following through on this, accepting this.

Julio put his hand on Star's wrist and held him still. He needed to think rationally. The only thing he was confident in was the fact Star was not fucking with him, not figuratively anyway, because Star, for all his violent tendencies and complete disregard for human life, didn't ever belittle Julio's _feelings_. 

Julio was having a lot of feelings right now. 

"Do you want me to stop?" Star asked quietly.

Julio shook his head. 

Star stared at him, looking for something, then nodded briefly and turned back to the television. He began to move his hand again, and Julio sucked in his stomach, his hips squirming imperceptibly against the seat cushions. Was he not even going to do it? Was Julio freaking out for nothing? But then the tips of Star's fingers pressed under the waistband of his sweatpants, sweeping across the dusting of hair there, then under the elastic of his underwear, before his hand covered Julio's cock completely. 

Julio made a small little noise, even though he tried not to, and Star's stoic expression cracked. He met Julio's gaze with eyes as wide as saucers, pale and glittering in the TV-lit glow of the room. Experimentally, he moved his hand, drawing his palm achingly slow from root to head, pressing Julio's dick against his flat belly, then slid his hand back down and pulled it back again, then a third time.

Under Julio's thigh, Star's cock poked at him. Julio shifted his hips, moving his leg over Star's hard-on, just enough to get Star to jump. 

In retaliation, Star tightened his hand, curling his fingers all the way around Julio's cock. His other slid imperceptibly under the blankets and tugged Julio's pants and shorts down, getting them off his hips in one swift movement. They were in a public room, with only a blanket as protection. There were a million reasons why Julio should have insisted they move to their room and one reason why he didn't. 

Star had his hand on Julio's cock, and it felt like the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him. 

"Guys," 'Berto said from the doorway, walking into the room and plopping down into one of the empty armchairs with a flourish, "please tell me you're watching something good. The big room is watching Adam Sandler movies, and I cannot do that to myself. No mutant should have that much self hate."

For a moment, he and Star both stared at him, frozen and barely breathing. 

Julio had no fucking idea how to get 'Berto to leave without raising suspicion. He looked to Star, who was struggling to slide his expression into something less murderous. Up to me then, Julio thought, trying to ignore the warmth of Star's hand. "Star's really into teen dramas right now. Pretty boring."

"Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink, both at once?" 'Berto asked, watching the screen flip back and forth between them. He shrugged. "Sure, why the fuck not. Still better than Adam Sandler movies."

Julio prodded Star with a tap of his knee to Star's stomach. "You are welcome to join us," he gritted out, which was not at all what he was supposed to say. Julio resisted the urge to panic, taking another deep breath.

"I secretly love these movies," 'Berto confessed, settling in. "You have good taste, Shatty."

"Thank you," Star said woodenly. 

The next hour and a half passed glacially slow. Neither of them moved, and Julio had horrific visions of 'Berto deciding the room was too cold and demanding Julio share his blanket, maybe even pulling it off. There was no way to discreetly pull up his pants, and Star hadn't bothered to move his hand either. Despite the effect of the situation on his nerves, Julio was still semi-hard under Star's persistent touch.

"Are you guys always this boring when you watch movies?" 'Berto asked at one point.

"Do not speak when I am watching television," Star snapped, causing Julio to smirk into the blanket.

'Berto made a big show of zipping up his lips, rolling his eyes at Julio, who shrugged lightly. Eventually, both movies ended, and 'Berto bid them both good night, pointing to Star behind his back and mouthing _pendejo_ to Julio as he left, making a face. Julio flipped him off. 

Once they were alone, Julio exhaled sharply, dazed, because holy shit, that was close.

Without a word, Julio lifted his hips and yanked his pants back up, knocking away Star's hand in the process. Star stared at him, startled, but Julio just tilted his head, standing up and wrapping himself in the blanket. It wasn't quite a walk of shame back to their room, but he wasn't sure how he felt. Turned on, for sure, eager to get Star's hand back on him, but there was something quiet, too, almost sad.

He folded that little piece up in his brain and tucked it away to worry about another time. 

Once the door was closed, they were all over each other, exchanging hard kisses, stumbling to Star's bed. Julio shoved his pants down to his thighs as Star, after a heartbeat's hesitation, did the same thing. Star hit the mattress hard, the bed sliding a few inches across the hardwood floor with a screech. 

"Can I touch you?" Julio asked, climbing over him, biting at his lips. 

They stared at each other for a moment, breathing hard, before Star nodded. "Of course."

Julio's moved his hand between Star's legs and took hold of his cock, the shaft sliding smoothly between his fingers. Star twisted sharply on the bed, hips pulling back, spine arching, and he moved his own hand between them, fingers blindly grappling before finally curling around Julio's cock. They weren't quite kissing – neither of them had the coordination right now – but Julio was basically panting into Star's open mouth, their faces pressed together as they touched and stroked and writhed. 

It was a fumbling, uncoordinated mess of jerky moves, desperate noises, and damp skin. 

Julio lasted longer than he expected, and Star following him right over, slicking Star's bare belly with come where his shirt had rucked up. Giving himself a few moments to get his shit together, Julio stayed still, forcing his heartbeat to slow, before he sat back and tried to gracefully get up without tripping.

He managed to do it, shucking his sweats in the process, but pulling his underwear back up. 

Star wordlessly pulled his shirt off then slid a finger through the mess on his abs, before bringing that same finger to his mouth and licking it curiously. Julio sat down heavily on his own bed, eyes wide. Star glanced over after hearing the squeak of the mattress, not looking even the slightest bit abashed.

"I wish to drink and do drugs," Star said, sitting up and grabbing a tissue to wipe off his stomach, pants still hovering at his thighs. Julio's eyes fixed on the naked skin of Star's hip and the crease between his thigh and groin. "Can you acquire them for me? We would, of course, imbibe these things together."

"Of course we would," Julio replied, trying to keep his face even. Fucking Shatterstar. How did Julio even get here, with him, having conversations like these, with Star's dick still out. "Like, are we talking like hardcore drugs like heroin or whatever, or weed? Because if it's former, it's a bad fucking idea, so don't do it, and I'm not helping you, but I can get you weed. 'Berto has connections, and he owes me."

"Why is he so indebted to you?"

"I mean, I have no game, but I make a pretty decent wing-man," Julio said, with a shrug.

Star tugged off his pants and underwear, balling them up and tossing them into the laundry basket. "I have no idea what any of that means," Star admitted, climbing under his sheets and laying back. 

"I can't get myself laid to save my life, but I can help a friend get laid with no problem," Julio said, trying again, then further clarified: " _sex_."

"I know what _laid_ means," Star said, expression pinched, "and you do not seem to be bad at either."

"I," Julio started then stopped as Star's words registered in his head. His face heated up. "It's different."

Star closed his eyes, flat on his back, arms uncovered, like he always slept. "If you say so, Julio."

Julio stared at him long after Star fell asleep then, eventually, just shook his head.

Don't ask, Julio told himself fiercely, don't ask, and just go with it. 

But seriously: what the _fuck_ was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added all the tags for the entire story, now that I have all 10 chapters plotted out and 6 chapters written.


	4. Monday

Star was long gone by the time Julio woke up. He had another training session with Domino in the afternoon but nothing urgent before lunch. Taking his sweet time, he showered, shaved, dressed before wandering down to the dining hall to grab a blueberry muffin and a coffee. He found 'Berto outside, basking in the sunlight, fucking around on his phone. He looked up as Julio approached him. 

"Oh, I don't like that look, Ric," 'Berto said, grinning. "What do you need?"

"Weed. Booze. Vodka and tequila preferably," Julio said, keeping his voice pitched low, even though he wasn't quite sure why. He ultimately answered to Cable, and Cable, for all his faults, seemed to understand X-Force in particular needed a long leash when it came to blowing off steam. "This good?" 

'Berto took the folded up bills with a nod. "You planning on partying with Shatterstar or something?"

"What do you think?" Julio replied easily, peeling off the paper from his muffin.

"I think he needs that stick removed from his ass. Terry says he isn't that bad," 'Berto added, staring at the muffin until Julio sighed and split it in two. 'Berto shoved the entire half into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "I don't know how you do it, mano, hang out with him so much. That can't be fun at all."

Julio shrugged. "Terry's right. He relaxes a little once you get to know him. He's pretty funny."

"You need to use your magic and get him laid. It's win-win. He'll finally relax, and maybe he'll owe _you_ the favours then. I am legitimately counting down the months till you turn twenty-one, Ric."

"Fuck off, you know you're as bored as I am. I'm giving you something to do."

" _Seriously_ ," 'Berto said, laughing.

Julio left 'Berto to his sunbathing, with 'Berto promising to have the items to him before dinner, busy tapping away at his phone. There was a shitload of time to kill before his session with Domino, so he figured he might as well head to the workout room and, well, workout. It probably wouldn't kill him.

He stopped by the room to change and grab his music, then wandered downstairs. The X-Men must have been training, because it was empty except for Star, who was in the corner, doing dead-lifts wearing a pair of ridiculously small shorts and not much else. His eyes lit up when he saw Julio.

"Don't give me that look," Julio warned him with a half-smile. "I'm bored as fuck."

"I, too, have been eager for a mission," Star replied, lifting an obscene amount of weight while barely breaking a sweat, the only sign of exertion was the way in which his muscles tensed along the length of his lean body. "Though I have no complaints about the way we have been passing the time," he added.

Julio made a face, hoping his face did not look as warm as it felt, and nodded. 

"Do you want me to spot you on the bench press?" Star asked. 

"Ugh, sure, I guess," Julio replied, ignoring Star's pleased look. 

Julio, of course, had not accounted for the fact that when he looked up all he saw were Star's powerful thighs and the defined bulge between them. Julio had touched that dick, and the world had not ended. 

"Julio, pay attention," Star chided him, hands hovering over him, ready to jump in for a rescue.

"I am," Julio gritted out, closing his eyes. 

As far as workout partners went, Star wasn't actually the worst – Tabs held that title for how much she complained, even more than Julio did – but he pushed Julio hard and took it at all very seriously. Julio honestly didn't know if Star actually needed to workout or if he just enjoyed the adrenaline rush. He was naturally much stronger, due to the bio-engineering thing, and Julio doubted exercise effected that.

Julio, on the other hand, was basically a regular human with the ability to cause earthquakes, and Cable had been after him to strength his core – whatever the fuck that actually meant – for ages.

Eventually, Julio had to tap out before his arms and legs fell off. "I'm done, dude. See you at lunch?"

"Most likely," Star replied. "May I watch your training session with Domino this afternoon?"

Julio grabbed a towel off the shelf and dragged it across his sweaty hair, gauging if he needed to take another shower. Probably. "Uh, I guess. It's not very exciting. It's basically her just yelling at me a lot."

"I would still like to see it," Star insisted, offering Julio his water bottle. 

The good thing about sucking on another guy's tongue for any length of time was nobody cared about germs anymore. Julio gulped a couple large mouthfuls then handed the bottle back to Star. "Then sure, knock yourself out."

Star nodded, satisfied, then returned to his dead-lifts. Julio stared after him, but Star was pretty single-minded about things, so he wasn't sure what he expected. He still didn't know exactly what Star was doing, and he still wasn't going to ask. As long as it looked like he wasn't fucking Star up – and Star seemed like the same Shatterstar he'd always been, save for the one notable exception – it was all good.

Out in the hall, Julio sniffed his pits, and yeah, there was no way he could escape a second shower.

This was the worst time of the day for it, too, after morning training sessions but before lunch. 

This communal living thing was bullshit, and the sooner Cable could get them out of there, the better. There were too many people, and he was just ... there were too many people. He had been basically on his own since he was fourteen. X-Factor hadn't kept a particularly close eye on him, and his stay with the New Mutants had been brief. He'd spent time alone in Canada, sharing places with housemates, before joining X-Force. His occasional forays back to Mexico had been more like visits than trips home, and even then, half his family wasn't talking to him, for a bunch of different reasons. 

X-Force was his team, and they were all wonderfully predictable in their routines, and easy as fuck to avoid when he wanted to.

He decided to just bite the bullet and do it, walking into the shower with purpose and ignoring everybody else. He scrubbed himself off, avoiding any area likely to distract him, and left before he even took notice of who else had been in there. Three people, he thought, possibly four. 

He could basically hear Cable criticizing his lack of situational awareness in his ear or, worse, his head.

_Mierda_ , this place was getting to him. 'Berto could not get that alcohol to him soon enough. 

Though in his defence, it had been a weird couple of days. Maybe that was why he felt so out of sorts.

He changed into his uniform and grabbed everything he needed for his session with Domino then headed to the dining hall for a light lunch. Star was already there, grilling a bunch of unseasoned chicken breasts, watching them like they could attack at any moment. Cooking his own food was still new to Star, and chicken in particular was not exactly his strength. More than once, Julio had been forced to talk him out of torching it black or, even worse, just eating it raw.

"One of these is for you," Star said, without turning around. 

"Great, thanks," Julio replied, sitting down on a stool at the counter, resting his chin on his hands. 

The chicken was dry and tasteless but filling. He made plans in his head to teach Star about seasonings and marinades, maybe cooking for him sometime with one of his Richter family recipes, which he kept folded up with his passport, his birth certificate and one picture of him, age six, and his parents. 

When Domino saw him approach, he tried to ignore the way her eyebrow lifted. Star marched dutifully behind him then veered off suddenly without a word, walking over to the edge of the still-ruined grass and sitting down. Domino looked at him inscrutably, silent, and he bunched his hands up at his sides. 

"Are we going to do this or are you just going to stare at me all day?" He asked flatly. 

"You're lucky I like you, kid," Domino replied, voice sharp with the warning.

Julio lowered his head and nodded. 

The session was pretty much a mirror of the first one, Domino yelling at him to stop holding back and he absolutely refusing to do anything of the sort. They _still_ talked about the 'quake in Guadalajara every time he was down for Christmas. He had taken livelihoods, if not lives, and they never let him forget it. It wasn't as easy as Domino was making it out to be to keep an earthquake neat and tidy, and it was just so much better – for his peace of mind, if nothing else, as if that wasn't enough – just to use his fingers to focus the seismic blasts and ignore everything else that he could probably do if he wanted to.

After a particularly pointed jab and the resulting kick to his mid-section when he allowed himself to get distracted, he sent an enormous shock wave in her direction. It cut a line so large across the massive yard that it disappeared from his vision, but Domino's comm immediately sparked to life. He couldn't recognize which X-Man it was over the roar of blood in his ears, but the voice sounded pissed. 

Julio sat there on the grass, heaving for breath, shoulders hunched forward, his hand pressed to his face. 

"Shatterstar," Domino called, draping a towel over the back of Julio's neck, "we're done here." Julio looked up slightly as Star approached, watching his feet cut through the grass. Domino lowered her voice and added, "take him back to the house. I'll get them to take dinner to your room. Okay, Ric?"

He nodded, and she left them there without another word. She didn't offer an apology, and he wouldn't have accepted one. It wasn't her fault, and he tried to tell himself it wasn't his either. The main culprit was his fucking head, which he could never seen to sort out. Everything in his life was such a mess. 

"Is the X-Mansion still standing?" Julio asked, finally, trying to lighten the mood. 

"Yes, it is untouched," Star replied. "The lawn, less so, but that can be repaired. You did no lasting harm, Julio."

"Not this time." He scrubbed his hands through his hair, trying to clear his head, then full on changed the subject. "I hope 'Berto comes through, amigo, because I'm all for getting wasted right about now."

Star frowned at him. "Is that wise?"

"No better time," Julio assured him, standing up on embarrassingly shaky legs. Star was still staring at him doubtfully, like he was second guessing whatever his original reasoning had been, and Julio tried to smile. "Hey, dude, relax. It's just a way to chill out and have fun. This was your idea, remember?"

"I remember," Star replied softly. "Very well. If you think it will help."

"It will," Julio assured him. 

They walked back to the mansion without speaking. Julio kept his eyes down, feeling the unwanted gazes on him. There was only one mutant who could have done what he did, and he had no doubt everyone had felt him lose control. Star seemed to sense it, too, and when Julio glanced up, he found him glowering in that Shatterstar way he had, tall and imposing and making it clear he would dismember anyone who said anything to Julio, regardless of the fact he was not carrying his swords. 

It should not have been as hot as it was, but this was Julio's life now. 

"Listen," he said when they got close to the room, "I'm going to take a quick shower before we eat. Can you stop by the kitchen and grab some cups, a carton of orange juice, a loaf of bread, a salt shaker and a bunch of limes. And try not be obvious about it, okay? In and out, and don't talk to anyone."

"Okay," Star agreed.

Nobody took a shower right before dinner, so Julio was safe on that account. He gave himself permission to actually enjoy the hot water as it streamed over his tense muscles, one arm braced against the tiled wall. He also gave himself permission to be embarrassed and then get the fuck over it. 

Back in the room, Star had put everything on his desk next to a large paper bag, which he was currently looking into. The food was on Julio's desk, two plates under two metal covers. He looked up when Julio closed the door, gave him a quick once over then seemed to be satisfied with whatever he saw. 

"Roberto dropped this off for you," Star explained, watching as Julio pulled the towel off and stepped into a pair of flannel pyjama pants, not bothering with anything else. The temperature in the room was set high; Julio suspected that was intentional. "He wanted me to inform you that you are even now."

"Says him," Julio replied, sitting down on his desk chair. "Anybody ask what you were up to?"

Star shook his head, settling into his own seat. "Nobody speaks to me unless they must. It was fine."

That statement bristled at him a little, even though Star didn't seem the least bit bothered. It was such a stark contrast to the way Julio felt all the time – that everyone was always in his business, prying into his life, worrying about things they shouldn't have even known about in the first place. Julio wished he could just brush every slight off, minor or major, like Star did with casual disdain every day. At least when Star wasn't trying to murder someone for insulting his honour, but Star kept that shit professional. 

But that had always been the problem, hadn't it? Julio had too many emotions, and Star not enough.

"Fuck," Julio groaned, forcing himself to compartmentalize all his shit again, "I need a drink now."

"Okay," Star said, sounding even more doubtful than he had before. 

"You're right. We'll eat first," Julio said, reaching for a plate, "and then I'll drink my face off."

As Star tucked into his dinner with the usual ferocity, Julio put on some music. Not too loud, because Star didn't like when anybody blasted music, but loud enough that he could focus on the lyrics instead of the thoughts banging around in his head. Between the music and the seriously delicious dinner – it was the only reason he'd ever consider joining the X-Men, Julio decided – he felt his mood lighten.

When he was done, he grabbed the bag and looked inside, removing the two bottles of booze and setting them aside. He took the bag of weed and put it into his underwear drawer, buried at the bottom. They'd have to smoke it sooner than later – he had visions of Wolverine busting in and confiscating it, probably for himself – but it seemed irresponsible to get Star drunk and high on the same night.

Star watched him quietly, eyes wide and unblinking, mouth pulled in a serious line. 

"Okay," Julio said, sitting back down, "your choices are vodka or tequila. The OJ is for the vodka, and it might be a little easier to get down. The tequila ... you can drink it neat or you can do shots with it."

"Body shots?" Star asked, showing the first bit of interest since he brought it up yesterday.

Julio grinned, leaning forward on his arm. "Do you even know what a body shot is?"

"Not precisely," Star admitted, "but it seems like a popular activity on television. I believe I lick you?"

"Kinda." Julio felt his face heat up again. Part of the problem was Star's nonchalant delivery of everything he said. "It's more ... I mean, the version I've seen is a little more ... complicated than that."

Star considered that for a moment then shrugged. "You decide."

"We'll start with the vodka, and if you're still interested, we can try body shots with the tequila." Julio unscrewed the top of the vodka bottle and eyeballed the amount he poured into two of the cups. He filled the rest of the space with orange juice then stirred them with the handle of his butter knife. He handed a cup to Star, who took it then sniffed at it warily. Julio smiled. "Are you ready, dude? _Salud_."

He bumped the edge of his cup with Star's then took his first drink, swallowing hard at the strong burn in his throat. He might have gotten the vodka to orange juice ratio a little off. Star sniffed it again, then lifted it to his mouth and tipped the liquid onto his tongue. Star's face immediately twisted in horror.

"This is poison," Star exclaimed, with a harsh cough. 

"Delicious poison," Julio agreed, laughing. "Drink up. It gets better."

Star coughed again, looking like he might throw up, but gamely took another drink and then a third. Julio almost took pity on him and offered more orange juice, but he knew what Star looked like when he committed to something, and he had committed to this. He couldn't hide his facial expressions, though, so Julio had to alternate his drinking with Star's. He didn't want to choke to death on laughter.

"This is awful," Star said, slapping his empty cup on the desk. "Humans are ridiculous."

"It's fun," Julio insisted, already feeling a little light-headed. "I made that one a little strong. Sorry."

Start looked at him suspiciously but held out his empty cup. Julio laughed, then made Star another drink and topped his up, too. Then he sat back, watching Star attempt to drink again – still with the faces – and felt the tension of the day finally ease out of him. It wasn't much of a party, but between Star, the music and the booze, it was still good. The warm buzz travelling across his body was nice, too.

"Are you feeling anything?" Julio asked, taking another drink.

"I believe so," Star replied, rolling his neck from shoulder to shoulder. "The poison appears to work."

Julio laughed a little, one arm hanging at his side as the other kept his cup at his mouth. "Good."

They drank for a while longer, not talking, listening to the music, refilling their cups when they were empty. Julio couldn't keep his hand off his own chest, his finger drawing circles on his bare skin, and Star watched him silently, his cup resting against his bottom lip, occasionally taking a drink. His eyes were glassy and bright and blue as the sky, and the dark star shape on his face just accentuated them.

"You are so fucking hot, dude," Julio said, before he could stop himself.

"I know," Star replied, putting his cup down. "Do you want to do body shots?"

"Yeah," Julio said, reaching for his butter knife, "just lemme cut up these limes real quick."

"That knife is blunt. I will use my swords."

"You cut a guy's leg off with those, like, two weeks ago," Julio protested, trying to bat Star away from taking the limes and failing miserably. "That's gross, man. I don't want to drink evil mutant blood."

"I clean them regularly."

"Gimme those limes back," Julio insisted, surprising himself by catching one when Star lobbed it at his head. From the look on Star's face, he was surprised too. "See," Julio added, as he forced the least sharp knife on the planet through the toughest lime ever harvested, "it kinda works. It's all good."

"There is juice everywhere," Star said as Julio licked the sour liquid off his finger. Star's eyes widened.

"It's all good," Julio repeated, smirking, "now take off your shirt and get on the floor."

Star yanked his t-shirt off and laid down. After a moment, he reached up and tugged the elastic out of his hair, too. Julio exhaled sharply, the tequila bottle hanging loose in his fingers, then kneeled down next to him with the salt shaker and the plate of limes in his other hand. Between the music and the way Star was looking at him, the urge to drag his tongue up the centre of Star's naked torso was very strong.

Julio took a deep breath then opened his eyes again. He put everything down next to Star then reached for his jeans, popping the top button and sliding down the zipper over the bulge of his cock. Star arched an eyebrow, but didn't saying anything as Julio pulled the two flaps apart and pushed the elastic of his underwear down to the root of his dick, baring his belly button and a faint dusting of red hair. 

"Ready?" Julio asked, running his tongue over his parched lips. 

Star nodded. 

Julio sprinkled a little pile of salt on Star's left pectoral, above the rapid beat of his heart, then placed one of the mangle lime slices between his teeth. Still, Star watched him curiously and said nothing. Julio opened the tequila bottle and then, very carefully, poured a shot's worth of booze into the dip of Star's belly button. Star's stomach tightened at the touch of the cool liquid, making a perfect divot. 

Julio inhaled sharply then bent his mouth to Star's stomach, sucking the tequila off his belly, pulling his tongue across the salt on his chest, then biting into the lime in his mouth, all in one smooth motion. Star's hand came up on his back as Julio swallowed the lime juice down and spit the lime onto the floor.

Star blinked at him, that blotchy blush making another amazing appearance. " _Julio_."

"That's a body shot," Julio explained sagely, leaning over him. 

"I will do it to you," Star decided, "but I believe you should be naked. I will take off my clothes, too."

"Sounds good," Julio agreed gamely, unable to argue with that sort of logic. 

He slithered out of his flannel pants, kicking them in the direction of his bed, then lay flat on his back, unable to keep his hand away from his cock. Not stroking hard enough to come, but enough to keep the good feeling going as Star undressed quickly, without fanfare. For a moment, Julio rued the fact his mouth had been so close to Star's gorgeous cock, and he hadn't had the balls to put it all over him. 

Star kneeled next to him, hair loose and long over his shoulders, touching the top of his hips. The hair should have been ridiculous, but on Star, it just suited him perfectly. Julio touched his fingers to it, twisting the ends around his knuckles. Star watched him silently, a hand sliding over Julio's belly, and allowed Julio a few more moments of admiration before taking his hand and laying it above his head. 

Star shook a little pile of salt into the hollow of his hip – holy shit, Julio thought, sucking in his stomach – then pushed a slice of lime between Julio's teeth. Julio started slightly at the feel of the cool tequila being poured into his belly button then waited, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He was about to ask Star what the hell he was waiting for when a warm hand laid over his cock and directed it to his leg. And then Star put his mouth against his belly, sucking hard, then dragging his tongue up the crease between his hip bone and his groin, then biting into the lime in Julio's mouth, all in a matter of seconds.

"Fuck," Julio breathed as Star nuzzled at his neck, sloppy and affectionate. Drunk, Julio realized, smiling, moving his hand over the one Star still had on his cock. Together, they jerked him off, slow and lazy, as Star sucked on his jaw, his neck, his tongue. Julio twisted his free hand into Star's hair. The floor was hard and cool, and Julio didn't mind how it bit into his shoulders, actually kinda liked it. 

"May I do that again?" Star asked, whispering into his ear, and Julio nodded, eyes closed. 

Star did many more body shots off him, while Julio did another two. Star clearly had a higher tolerance for alcohol than Julio did, but Julio wasn't surprised, due to the healing factor. All that mattered was Star was clearly feeling it, his movements slow and languid, his accent the heaviest Julio had ever heard it. At some point, they had started speaking Spanish. It felt comfortable and hazy and wonderful.

They stayed on the floor, naked, hands exploring each other, with Star on his back and Julio draped over him at his side. Not too drunk for whisky dick, which was good, Julio decided, fingers moving leisurely over Star's cock, his own erection pressed into Star's hip, slicking his smooth skin. They made out at the same pace, wet and hot and open, a silky slide of salt and lime-sweetened tongues. 

Eventually, with Star's hand pressed low on his back and his finger rubbing lightly between the line of Julio's ass, Julio came with a low groan, coating Star's hip. Julio couldn't even remember when that hand had been put there, and he didn't particularly care. It felt good. Amazing. World changing.

It was easy then, to stroke Star to his own shuddering orgasm. Julio watched his face through half-lidded eyes, the way his mouth parted and his brows furrowed and his eyelashes fluttered. It was better than any porn he'd ever seen, because Star seemed like to like it so much, and because he was beautiful. 

"You're my best friend," Julio murmured, mostly asleep on the hard, cool floor.

"And you, mine," Star replied softly, barely audible, eyes closed. "You make me feel."

Julio thought about asking _what_ but thought better of it. He understood what Star was trying to say. He got it, and he didn't need it explained to him, because for one second he understood everything, and then it was easy to just fall asleep right there, head pillowed on Star's shoulder, warm and comfortable.


	5. Tuesday

Julio woke twice in the night. The first time: Star picked him up off the floor, shivering, and laid him gently into his own bed. He couldn't remember if he had insisted on it, or if Star had chosen it for himself, but Star laid down beside him, his back against the wall, and fell asleep immediately. The second time: he opened his eyes when he felt Star's breath on his cheek and shifted his gaze to confirm that they were sharing a single pillow and Star was somehow still asleep. He had to pee, badly, but Star looked so comfortable and peaceful that Julio couldn't find the strength to disturb him.

Star was still asleep when Julio woke for the third time, unable to ignore his bladder any longer. 

He tugged on the first pair of pants he found, and it wasn't until he was halfway down the hall that he realized he was wearing Star's jeans from last night. He was so hungover that he honestly didn't give a shit and decided everybody was lucky he had even bothered to put on anything at all. The overhead light was too bright, and his head throbbed relentlessly. Unable to trust his legs, he sat down to pee.

He bumped into Jimmy when he came out of the stall.

"Holy shit, Ric," Jimmy said, way too loud for Julio's head to handle. "You know we have a team training session in fifteen minutes? Cable is going to fucking murder you. How much did you drink?"

Julio blinked at him, wishing his stomach would settle down. "I ... we ... what? Training?" 

"You are unbelievable. I wouldn't have the balls," Jimmy said, clasping a hand on Julio's shoulder as he laughed, then he went into one of the stalls. "Also," he called over the door, "you smell like jizz, dude."

"Fuck," Julio swore.

On his way back to the room, he grabbed a bunch of towels from the showers and wet them. No time to actually wash, but with enough body spray and a quick scrub, maybe it would be enough for the time being. He was just grateful Feral was no longer on the team. At least Jimmy knew how to be discreet. 

Star blinked awake when Julio closed the door, and Julio walked over and draped one of the wet towels across his naked back. "Did you know we have training?" He asked, shoving Star's jeans off into a pile.

"Yes, at nine," Star replied then glanced at the clock, visibly recoiling at the sight of the numbers.

"Yeah," Julio said, trying to ignore the rising nausea in his stomach as he scrubbed over his stomach and groin with the wet towel before tugging on his jock. "Fuck, I'm never gonna hear the end of this."

"I have never been late for anything before," Star replied, horrified. 

They banged around in the room for the next five minutes, frantically getting dressed. Julio popped two extra strength Tylenol and washed them down with room-temperature orange juice. He thought about chasing it with vodka, but he realized both bottles were practically empty. That must have been mostly Star, because Julio would have been dead with even half that much alcohol. As it was, he had to sit to get his boots on, trying to force one on the wrong foot for way too long before seeing the issue.

They arrived to the Danger Room three minutes late.

"Rictor, Shatterstar, so nice of you two to join us," Cable replied blandly. Domino smirked beside him.

"We slept in," Julio replied, equally blasé, swallowing against the bile in his throat. " _Sorry_."

Star looked like he was about to throw himself on his swords. He bowed deeply. "I apologize."

The training session was a disaster. Star seemed fine, pushing hard to redeem himself in Cable's eyes, but Julio could not stop getting hit by everything sent in his direction, even the easy-to-dodge shit he normally laughed at. Cable kept barking at him, and he was too nauseated to yell back, so he just took it and focused on living for the next five, ten, fifteen minutes, so he could eventually crawl off and die. 

"Are you still drunk?" 'Berto asked, laughing, and Julio flipped him off with both hands. 

"Rictor, get the fuck out of here!" Cable snapped. "The rest of you, get back to the fucking drills. _Now_."

Star opened his mouth to say something, but Julio cut him off with a sharp shake of his head. With more rage than he actually felt, he stomped out of the Danger Room, kept it up for as long as he thought Cable might be listening, then ducked into the nearest bathroom and threw up spectacularly. 

He felt immediately better.

Back in the room, he chugged a litre of water, stuffed a slice of bread in his mouth – two things he should have done last night, instead of confessing his friendship love for Star and falling asleep – then climbed into bed, still in his uniform and boots. He was out in seconds; the pillow smelled like Star.

When he woke up a few hours later, Star was sitting cross-legged on the other bed, watching him. 

"Do you need to go to the infirmary?" Star asked, serious. 

"What? No. I'm fine, dude, especially now that I got more sleep." Julio sat up slowly, grabbing another bottle of water and draining half of it in one gulp. Star continued to stare at him morosely, and Julio realized he was actually upset. "Hey, Star. Don't worry about it. I don't care about pissing Cable off." 

Star's frown deepened. "I did not intend to cause you harm."

"No, hey," Julio said, getting up and crossing the room to sit down next to him. "I drank too much, that's all. I'm already feeling way better, and last night was fun. This isn't even in my top ten hangovers. It was just that fucking training session, which Cable did _not_ tell me about, for the record."

"Domino admitted she forgot to inform you, due to yesterday's incident. I assumed you knew." 

"See, don't worry about it. Shit likes this happens. And Cable's always pissed at me anyway."

"You are always pissed at him."

"Because he's an asshole, and so am I," Julio replied easily. "It's a bad combination. Okay?"

Star nodded, still looking solemn, and leaned forward a little. "And you promise you are unharmed?"

"Yeah, I puked my face off after Cable kicked me out, and now I mostly feel fine."

Star nodded again, still looking disturbed, but Julio didn't know what else he could tell him. It _was_ fine. Last night had been crazy fun, and he didn't regret it. He didn't actually regret anything they had done together, and he was pretty proud of himself about that. Julio Richter was not normally a guy who knew how to go with the flow, so the fact he was doing it now felt like a pretty major accomplishment.

"How do you feel?" Julio asked suddenly. 

"I slept well, and I feel very refreshed today." He frowned. "Though I do not like that I slept so late."

"Where do I sign up for a healing factor?" Julio asked, grinning as he reached over Star to grab the loaf of bread. Star declined with a shake of his head when Julio offered him first slice. Julio paused, then decided he might as well ask, while they were on the subject. "Did you get what you wanted out of it?"

Star nodded. "I would not be adverse to doing it again someday, once your liver recovers."

Julio grinned. "I'll hold you to that." 

After changing into more comfortable clothes, Julio spent the rest of the afternoon just relaxing, munching on bread and listening to music, reading for a while. Oddly, Star stuck around, despite it not being his style at all. Cable had forbidden Star from having a TV in his room, rightfully assuming no one would ever see him again, so that was out. Star worked his way through a series of gravity-defying exercises to pass the time. Julio popped another two Tylenol mid-afternoon, then dozed for a bit.

When he woke, Star was balanced on one arm, upside down with legs-crossed, ponytail brushing the floor. Julio got up, finished his water bottle, then walked to his underwear drawer. He took the pot out and, after rooting around a bit, found his pack of rolling papers tucked in a box of expired condoms. With a yawn, he sat down at the desk, pushing the bottle of vodka and carton of OJ out of way.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Star unfold his legs and rise to a stand. He wandered over. 

Humming a little, Julio opened the bag and took out of the weed. He grabbed one of the clean cups left over from last night, then pulled a pair of scissors out of the drawer he had put all the school supplies in when he had first moved in. He starting snipping his way through, making small, precise cuts. The cup caught all of his clippings, and once he was satisfied with the amount, picked out the bits he didn't like.

Then it was just a matter of making filters, packing the weed and rolling a bunch of joints. Star watched him like a hawk, eyes especially focused on Julio's mouth when he licked along the edge of each paper.

"How did you know how to do that?" Star asked.

"I lived with a couple stoners in Toronto for a while. Rent was cheap."

"You are very worldly," Star said seriously, and Julio made a face. He couldn't even imagine a reality in which that was true, but to Star, it probably looked like he was. "I have never done anything like that."

"You've only been on earth for a few years, and before that ..." Julio trailed off, and Star nodded, his expression hard to read. Emotionless didn't seen right anymore, but there was almost no better word. "There's nothing wrong with staying in the same place, and you _don't_ have to stay here, amigo."

It was Star's turn to make a face. Julio couldn't imagine it either, but Star had a way of surprising him. Five days ago, he couldn't have imagined kissing Star, and now he had touched his cock on multiple occasions, and Star had been crazy into it each time, an active and willing participant. That was pretty fucking mind-blowing when he thought about it. It was also a big responsibility, and Julio knew it. 

Stop overthinking, he reminded himself. 

But the day seemed different from the previous four. They had time to kill before dinner, but Star didn't instigate anything. Julio knew he could have, but he just ... didn't. Maybe it was for the best. He was still a little hungover, and Star seemed a bit spooked about the whole post-alcohol experience. Julio hadn't been lying. This was practically nothing. That fact he remembered the night before said it was nothing.

He resolved not to worry about it and got up to hide the joints in the expired condoms box.

When dinner rolled around, Star didn't understand his reluctance, but he got it when Julio entered the dining hall to a boisterous round of applause from the members of X-Force. He rolled his eyes, heading straight for the food and putting the bare minimum on his plate – a single slice of lasagna and a piece of garlic bread – before grabbing himself a huge glass of ice water. He thought about sitting at another table, just to fucking spite them for being assholes, but Star had already sat down with them. 

_Traitor_ , Julio thought, without heat, and collapsed next to him. 

"You're looking better," Jimmy remarked. "You should have seen him when I ran into him in the can."

"The expression on Cable's face, oh my god," Tabs added, laughing as she dangled her fork between her fingers. "I wish I had a camera. I want to remember it forever. I thought he was gonna bust a vein."

'Berto, who had been uncharacteristically holding it together, finally broke. "The _bolas_ on you, dude."

"I fucking hate you all," Julio replied, rolling his eyes again. He tried not to notice Terry hadn't said anything. He knew what it looked like, and he knew it looked bad. "I overdid it. I learned my lesson." 

Tabs scoffed, still laughing. "As if. You do nothing in small measures, Ric. Look at the lawn."

Julio didn't respond to that, just scowled at his plate, but at least Tabs got the message pretty quickly and turned to the others to discuss what they wanted to do that night to kill time. Julio only half-listened – game night, Tabs decided, and _everyone_ was participating, even the antisocial one and the hungover one – as he finished his food. So far, so good, with his stomach. The water definitely helped.

Julio did try to get out of game night, but Tabs grabbed onto his arm. "No freaking way are you going to back to your room to get wasted alone again. We're team bonding. This is important. Capiche?"

"He was not drinking alone," Star said suddenly, before Julio could stop him. "I drank with him."

"You fucking _liar_ , Ric," 'Berto moaned, gesturing wildly, and Julio shrugged him off. Besides, he hadn't lied about anything, not really, not outright. "Shatty, I'm way more fun than this idiot is."

"I find that unlikely," Star replied flatly, and Julio forced himself to keep his face completely blank.

This was going to be a long night. 

It turned out to be pretty fun, even though he was the first one to lose all his armies to Terry's relentless forces and had to spend the rest of the night watching. Tabs fell next, followed by Star, who had never finished outside the top two in any previous game night. Star took the loss like he always took a loss – with a deep sulk and vows he would be better next time. He had decimated Jimmy during his last turn, who couldn't recover, and then it was just Terry and 'Berto, rolling dice like their lives depended on it.

Terry won in the end. 

"You didn't have to tell them," Julio said, when he and Star were walking back to their room. "I don't care what they think about me. Not about shit like that. They were just fucking with me anyway."

"That is not why I said something," Star assured him, unlocking their door. 

"Why did you?" 

Star shrugged. 

Julio stripped down to his shorts then climbed into bed. Despite sleeping on and off all day, he was exhausted. He was almost asleep when he felt Star's weight on his mattress. He snapped his eyes open, blinking up at him, and Star stared for a moment before asking, "you continue to feel well?"

"My ego's a little bruised from lasting, like, fifteen minutes in Risk, but yeah, I'm good."

Star looked at him a little longer then nodded, satisfied. He went to his own bed and laid down. 

This is the life you chose when you picked a guy from Mojoworld as your best friend, he told himself pragmatically. 

Despite Star's inherent weirdness, Julio fell asleep quickly, cocooned snugly in his blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Next chapter is longer than average, so it probably balances out. I refer to this chapter and the next one as the "serious" chapters in my head.


	6. Wednesday

On a normal night, that would have been the end of it, but life with Star was decidedly not normal. When Julio woke again, it was pitch black, and Star was leaning over him, gently shaking him awake. He blinked owlishly, belatedly noting he hadn't woken in terror like he would have expected to. The thought that years of finely honed reflexes had been completely destroyed by Star did not surprise him. 

"Is the mansion on fire?" Julio mumbled, pulling the blankets more tightly around him.

"No, there would be a fire alarm," Star said. 

Julio closed his eyes, yawning. "Are we being attacked by evil mutants?" 

"No."

"Are you in imminent danger of dying?"

"No." 

Julio opened his mouth to ask another question, but Star cut him off quickly, finally catching on. 

"I would like you to wake up and sneak out with me."

Julio cracked open an eye. "What? Sneak where? Everything around here closes at, like, six pm."

"Sneak _out_ ," Star repeated, his hand still on Julio's naked shoulder, "and bring the drugs."

Julio groaned, but he got up, wearing his blankets like a cape. It was two in the fucking morning, and he was mostly just going along with Star because his brain was too tired to resist the lure of the unknown. Blearily, he dug into his underwear drawer and grabbed two joints and his lighter. Star raised an eyebrow at the condoms, and Julio sighed. "Birthday gift from 'Berto. Never used them, obviously."

Star nodded then turned to the door. Still half asleep, Julio followed him out into the eerily quiet hallway. They crept along, pausing at every corner, Julio running into Star's back no less than four times. It was freezing outside, and Julio pulled the blankets more tightly around him. He hadn't thought to put on shoes, and the grass was cool and damp against his feet. 

Julio was kinda hoping they would get caught, so he could go back to bed, but Star managed to get them both away from the house and to the farthest edges of the Xavier property, where there was a deep pond surrounded by a protective umbrella of leafy trees. Julio eyed a particularly lush patch of grass and decided he could definitely fall asleep there with no problems, already moving towards it. 

"Are you sleepwalking?" Star asked, tugging his shirt off. Julio's eyes opened a little wider. 

"No," Julio replied, "but it's two in the fucking morning, dude. What are we doing here?"

"I thought I was clear about that," Star said in a sanctimonious tone that reminded Julio that sometimes Star could be an insufferable prick. Star must have seen his imminent murder in Julio's eyes because he exhaled then murmured, looking away briefly, "we have snuck out to skinny dip and do drugs."

You said you were just gonna go with it, Julio reminded himself, you knew it was gonna be weird.

"We can go back," Star said, his hands at the waistband of his pants, uncertain. For the first time, Julio noticed the stack of towels at his feet. He wasn't sure how they had gotten there, but Cable could have galloped by riding a unicorn at any time over the last little while, and he wouldn't have noticed a thing.

"Fuck it," Julio decided and shoved his briefs off. "For the record, it is fucking freezing out here."

Star, who was suddenly way closer than Julio realized, bent his head down and murmured in his ear, "I will keep you warm, Julio." One quick look at him confirmed that this time was probably intentional.

Julio had swam naked with other people before – his cousins and his siblings – but when he was much younger, typically during the summer or on various family vacations, before everything went to shit. He'd turned down other invites over the years from teammates, afraid of his own unpredictable reactions, so this was definitely new for him, too. It was just so fucking cold, and the water looked icy.

"Do you need me to carry you in?" Star asked, standing knee deep already. 

Julio eyed the pond doubtfully but shook his head. He had faced worse things than this before. 

He took a deep breath, dropped the blankets then ran and jumped in with a giant splash. "Holy shit," he gasped, breaking the surface and sucking in a huge gasp of air. It was somehow even colder than it looked, and he started doing a leisurely breaststroke just to warm up. "I think my dick just inverted."

"This is more frigid than I was expecting," Star admitted, now in up to his waist and looking like he didn't plan to go any farther, so Julio did what any best friend would do and sent a minor shock-wave through the water, drenching Star in the process. Star spluttered, shivering hard, then lunged for him.

They splashed around for a bit, Julio trying to escape any revenge Star had planned by exploiting every swimming stroke he had ever learned, Star using his superior physical strength and agility to basically force himself through the water without actually knowing how to swim. They stayed around the edges of the water – Julio really didn't want to have to save Star from drowning when they were just goofing around and having fun – and tried to be quiet, but it was hard not to laugh when Star finally got him.

"Apologize," Star said, arm cinched around Julio's waist, threatening to lift him into the cold night air.

"Not gonna happen," Julio replied, squirming violently, still laughing. "You deserved it."

Star shifted his arm, raising Julio completely out of the water, but Star wasn't the only with battle training. Julio twisted suddenly, catching Star by surprise, and wrapped his legs around Star's waist. Star's arms immediately came across his back, pulling him close, and while it wasn't quite warm, it was better than having no body contact at all. Julio put his hands on Star's face, pushing his hair back.

"I have never heard you laugh like that," Star said, one hand sliding lower. 

"I don't usually," Julio admitted, hooking his ankles together. He couldn't stop touching Star's hair. 

"You should," Star decided, the hand drifting even lower now, supporting his ass.

Julio smiled a little and tightened his legs, closing his eyes and leaning back. The water was still pretty fucking cold, but he was getting used to it, though he wasn't going to admit that. He gave himself a few minutes to enjoy their current positioning without being worried about being discovered or what it said about him, then slowly extracted himself from Star's arms and swam away with two quick kicks. 

If Star thought there was anything weird about that, he didn't say anything. 

Instead, Star tilted back in the water and tried to imitate Julio's floating. The first two times, Star sunk fast then came up spluttering. Julio had no idea if he could swim even if he wanted to. Star had hollow bones, but almost all of the weight he did have – all ninety-five pounds of him – was basically pure muscle, and he imagined there had not been a lot of time on Mojoworld to discover if that mattered.

Star also wasn't a patient learner. Julio lasted about five minutes before swimming back to him, sliding his arms under his shoulders and his hips, holding him up. "Flatten out," Julio said, not surprised when Star immediately did. He loved following orders. "Then relax and try not to think about it so hard."

Star closed his eyes and some of the tension eased out. His hair drifted around his head like a veil, floating in the water, and his pale skin glistened in the moonlight, ethereal and perfect. It made for a gorgeous picture, and Julio worked hard to commit it to memory, even his poor cold-shrunken cock. 

He smiled a little.

"What?" Star asked without opening his eyes. 

"Just glad to see you're not immune to the cold, because I'm basically dick-less right now."

Star opened his eyes and spared him a withering look, and Julio held up his two hands, laughing. It took a moment for Star to make the connection, and his floating only lasted another few heartbeats beyond that, but it was good enough. Julio grabbed him before he sunk again and tugged him toward the shore. Star was turning a little blue around the lips, and Julio wasn't sure he had toes anymore. 

"We'll try that again in the summer," Julio promised, sprinting up to the towels and grabbing one, scrubbing the water off his skin until he was satisfied with his level of dryness. Not that they provided much warmth, but he tugged his underwear on then dragged all of his blankets over his shoulders. He watched Star pull on his sweatpants then held out an arm, beckoning Star into his blanket cape.

They stood there for a while, shivering and sharing body heat, before some of the feeling started coming back into his toes. Eventually, they sat down together, still sharing the blankets, and Julio reached for one of the joints and the lighter. Star watched him quietly, chin resting on Julio's shoulder.

Holding the joint between his lips, he lit it, inhaled once to catch the flame, then exhaled. He took a second drag, then a third, then passed it to Star, who looked at it for a moment then brought it to his lips and mimicked exactly what Julio had done. That went on for a while, passing it back and forth, without speaking. Julio wasn't really tired anymore, not after the ice bath, so he was more relaxed than sleepy. 

"How are you doing?" Julio asked, taking another drag, starting to feel the effects settle over him.

"Good," he said, after consideration. "I do not believe my healing factor is working in the same way." 

Julio smiled, passing him the joint, and Star took it carefully between his fingers. Julio felt a deep stirring of fondness for him and hugged an arm around Star's bare back, leaning into his shoulder. He waved Star off when he tried to pass it back, content to just sit there, snuggling Star for his body heat. Star didn't seem to mind, silently smoking the joint, a thoughtful look on his – _crazy gorgeous_ – face.

When he was done, he passed the roach to Julio, who snubbed it out on the damp grass.

Beneath the blankets, Star's hand settled high on Julio's inner thigh, squeezing gently, massaging him. Julio pressed his cheek into Star's shoulder, his breath hitching, and Star's hand continued unrelentingly. It felt amazing, intensely erotic, intimate in a way he still wasn't used to, in a way he probably wouldn't allow with anybody else. It helped that Star had no preconceived notions of how he expected Julio to be or act. It was fucking exhausting, pretending to be something he mostly wasn't, all the fucking time. 

"You are very affectionate when you are on drugs," Star commented, his voice warm and strange and not very Shatterstar-like at all. His actual words took a moment longer to register. Julio looked up, frozen, and Star squeezed his thigh. "I am not asking you to stop, Julio, merely observing. Continue."

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Not when it's you," Star said, squeezing him again, and Julio looked away, a little flustered, a little ... something else. He had done a pretty good job of keeping emotions out of whatever this was – his drunk friendship feelings notwithstanding – and he wasn't about to start now. Shatterstar, for one, was brand new to having any, and Julio was just flat out terrible at them, despite a lifetime of practice.

They stayed like that for a long time, tangled up, touching each other under the blanket in a way that was more sensual than sexual. Star moved his hand achingly slow over Julio's leg, starting at his toes then up, feeling every inch of skin, his hand dry and smooth, exploring, and Julio did the same to his back, using his fingers, his knuckles, his nails, to draw shivers out of Star, who was just so _responsive_. 

"Can anybody see us where we are?" Julio asked eventually, his hand still on Star's naked back, his fingers moving up and down his skin, following the line of his spine. The skin between his shoulders was especially sensitive, and Star arched when he played there. "I know I'm being paranoid, but ..."

"Not unless they are looking for us," his eyes swept across the surrounding dark, "and I went to the effort of making it look like we are still in bed, which was very difficult after you took all the blankets."

Julio smirked. "Don't think I haven't noticed you let me go outside in just my underwear."

"I was concerned I would have to carry you out," Star admitted, something in his eyes that looked like someday it would be a smile. That'd be interesting, Julio thought, letting the feelings of _fuzzy_ and _warm_ swell, his nerves melting away. It would be a shame to waste this high on being paranoid and worried.

Time to do something to ensure that definitely didn't happen. 

"Make out with me," Julio murmured, pressing his mouth against Star's shoulder and lightly scrapping his teeth against his skin, sliding his other arm across Star's stomach and tugging him closer. He went easily, and they shuffled around for a few seconds beneath the mountains of blankets, negotiating space and positioning, before Julio ended up with Star under him, his long legs wrapped around Julio's hips. 

Star's mouth tasted sweet and smokey, and Julio licked into it, his tongue pressing against Star's, brazen and desperate, as Star shifted restlessly beneath him. His hands slid up Julio's chest, thumbs brushing his nipples, and Julio flinched, just a little – because he hadn't been expecting it, because he hadn't known he would like it so much – then grabbed Star's hands before he snatched them away. There was no point in pretending he didn't like something when he was with Star. Star didn't know the difference.

It was hard to stay focused on Star's mouth when there was so much of him to kiss, like the soft skin at his temples, and the space under his ears, and the dip at the base of his throat. Julio also couldn't keep his hands out of his hair, which Star didn't seem to mind, even lifted his shoulders so Julio could get it out from under him. Star seemed particularly entranced by Julio's neck and pressed his mouth to the side of it, using his teeth and lips to work over the skin, but so careful, so cautious. Too much of both. 

"I'll wear a sweater tomorrow," Julio murmured, leaning over him, throat bared. "Go ahead."

As Star worked on his skin, Julio closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation, unable to stop his hips from rocking against Star's body, their erections pressing and rubbing together. Star had his ankles locked firmly around Julio's thighs, and he lifted up to meet Julio's shallow thrusts. Julio tried to imagine fucking him, and had to quickly toss that idea away or risk wrecking the only piece of clothing he had to sneak back to the X-Mansion in, but just the thought was enough to shake him to the core.

He kept his mind on the scene before him: Star, on his back, hair wild around his head and tangled in Julio's hands, his mouth diligently bruising Julio's overheated skin. His legs spread, his hips tilted up, his cock huge and hard and leaking through his sweatpants. His stomach, tight, and his fingers on Julio's ass, beneath the fabric of his briefs, cupping, pulling, squeezing. His entire body, _writhing_.

"Star, I'm gonna," Julio warned, tensing against the feeling, fighting it, and Star put his mouth against Julio's ear and murmured, "ejaculate on my skin, Julio, please," as one of his hands pushed down his briefs, took out his cock and stroked him hard. Julio came with a groan, slicking Star's waiting belly.

Julio bent his head and kissed Star, hard and deep, until they were both breathless. When he pulled back, Star was looking at him with wide, blue eyes, his gaze flickering to Julio's neck between heartbeats. Julio touched his fingers to the warm patch on his skin and wet his lips, thinking, deciding. 

"Can I ...?" He asked then stopped. "I mean, if you are ..."

"Anything, Julio," Star replied, touching his hand to Julio's cheek. "This is for you, too."

A tiny hysterical thought pushed at him – he keeps saying _this_ , does _he_ even know what _this_ is – but Julio ignored it. He wanted to do this. He'd been thinking about it since ... longer than since Tuesday, but not quite since the moment he had met him. The attraction had been instantaneous, but it had been a long time before Julio gave himself permission to fantasize about the impossible, to admit ...

Stop, he told himself, don't overthink. 

"Keep the blanket over me," Julio mumbled, not quite able to completely ignore his paranoia. 

"I will," Star promised, but it was clear he didn't understand why Julio was asking. Julio had never had anyone trust him this implicitly before, and it was a deeply uncomfortable thing for him, but he didn't want to hurt Star by admitting that. These feelings were too complex for someone brand new to them.

Don't overthink, he remind himself again, don't ruin this for yourself. 

He started by kissing Star, first on the mouth, then the jaw, the neck. He dragged his tongue over one of Star's nipples, returning the favour from earlier, and Star thighs flexed against his sides. With a smile, Julio continued his way down, his hands sliding along Star's torso. He paused at his stomach, gauging how brave he was – not overly, it turned out – then moved his attention to getting Star's pants off. They should have stayed naked after swimming, which was easy to say now that Julio felt totally overheated. 

Star's ankles unlocked when Julio pushed his legs apart. He felt vaguely ridiculous – the blanket heavy across his back, the ability to see nonexistent – but it helped as well, being hidden like this, protected from anything outside their tiny shared world. Running his hands over Star's waist, he tugged his pants down, trusting Star to bend his legs in all the right ways to get them off without taking the blanket, too.

And then, there was nothing between his mouth and Star's cock, except his own worries, and those were pretty easily drowned out by the roar of blood in his ears. Even in the dark, his hand knew where to go, and his mouth knew where to follow. Star shifted against the grass, legs spread impossibly wide, and Julio stroked him a few times, careful not to bring him over, before taking Star into his mouth.

"Julio," Star said, scandalized, muffled by the blankets, one hand touching the back of his head.

Julio had no fucking idea how to give a good blowjob, and he found that didn't matter. All that mattered was the salty taste of Star on his tongue and the way Star's hips twitched with each pull of his lips and the heady desire to feel Star come in his mouth. Above him, Star was making breathy little sounds, the blanket pulled to his face so Julio could actually hear them. Julio could tell by the heat of his skin that he was blushing, splotchy and pink, and that spurred him on the most, because there was nothing better. 

Shatterstar's sexual awakening was the fucking hottest thing in the world. 

"Julio," Star said again, different this time, a warning, and Julio increased the pressure of his mouth, his lips, his tongue, until Star came undone under him, coming hard, filling Julio's mouth with salty heat. He swallowed rapidly, trying to keep up, but it was messy, and he wasn't very good at the timing yet. 

The blankets were suddenly suffocating, so he slid up Star's sweat-covered body, right through the mess on his stomach, until he was lying next to him. He wiped the back of his hand against his lips. Star tilted his head to look at him, just for a moment, before pressing a sweet, chaste kiss to his mouth.

"Thank you," Star said, with so much sincerity that Julio's heart hurt. 

Julio nodded, unable to keep his fingers from pressing against his own lips. He had spend years denying he had wanted this, and now it had happened, and it was great, and Star had totally loved it.

Everything was fine.

They lay there for a while, stargazing, as Julio tried to process. He first assured himself it was no big deal, and when his brain decided it was, he assured himself it didn't mean anything. He was, he realized, finally freaking out, and he didn't know why _now_. It was the worst time for it, and he just wanted to relax and enjoy being with Star and exploring more. He couldn't credit the pot – he felt aware and awake and no longer high at all – but maybe his own self-realization, or self-acceptance, or whatever. He couldn't help thinking: what will my family think? What will my friends? Everyone? 

His eyes prickled with tears, and he felt like a fucking idiot.

Star pushed himself up on one elbow. "Julio?"

"I guess it's my turn to freak out," he said, staring at the sky, unblinking, hand still pressed to his face. 

"Why?"

Julio pressed his lips together and thought about not answering, because Star hadn't asked the right question – the obvious question – but he also wasn't sure if he could keep this in any longer. Star was basically it for options to talk to, and Julio didn't know if he was ready to handle something this big. 

"Do you ..." he started then stopped, his stomach clenching uncomfortably. "Do you think I'm gay?"

Star looked at him for a long time, and Julio stared back. It felt like the slowest his life had ever moved. 

It was such a ridiculous question. He knew it even as he asked it. They'd been having sex for days, and it had to be clear, even to Shatterstar, that this wasn't just open-mindedness or a willingness to experiment and try new things. That _this_ was something he desired and wanted on a very physical level. And it wasn't a new thing, but a thing he had been denying for years, since that first time he had noticed someone sexually, and it had been another guy, and he had shamefully buried it deep inside.

"It doesn't matter what _I_ think, Julio," Star said finally, gentle, "but I want you to be happy."

His first reflex was to tell Star he didn't mean _that_ type of gay, but somehow he knew that Star had understood the question perfectly and was giving his honest answer. Julio wasn't so full of self-loathing that he didn't know plenty of guys lived happy, out lives, but it felt like he was wearing too many layers of _different_ for one person to handle. Or maybe it just his own fucked up head that couldn't handle it.

"I feel gay, most of the time," he admitted, quietly, his heart beating like a hammer in his chest, "but it scares the shit out of me, Star. I'm not sure I could ever ... I mean, it's okay if you know, but everyone else ..." Julio scrubbed a hand over his face, breathing harshly. This was hard. So much harder than he thought. He wanted to make jokes, to take it back, but now it was out there, at least to someone else. 

"You are my best friend, Julio," Star said, finally, and Julio hadn't realized how much he needed to hear _something_ until Star started speaking. "Whatever you decide, however long it takes you to arrive at a place that makes you happy, where you are comfortable, I will accept you, and I will support you."

Julio inhaled sharply, shaky and wet, and tried to smile, though it felt crooked and wrong. He was such a fucking mess, and he'd really fucked up what should have been a fun night, but Star wasn't looking at him like he'd ruined anything. Julio was still pretty embarrassed, but not as bad as he could have been. 

"Do you want to me to stop this?" Star asked softly. 

_This_ again, it was always _this_ , whatever _this_ was, but Julio didn't even have to think about it, his head already moving side to side, cradled in the lush grass. "No," he swallowed, "I don't want you to stop."

"Do you want to talk about it more?"

"Fuck, no," Julio said, making a face. 

"What do you want?"

"To smoke this last joint," Julio replied, rolling over and reaching for it. Star looked suspicious, and rightfully so, in Julio's opinion, but what he needed now was to relax enough to ignore his own head, change the way too serious mood, then go the fuck to bed. He flicked the lighter a few times before the flame caught, then lit the joint. "I should have warned you I'm way more fun when I'm drunk."

"Your emotions are all over the place right now," Star admitted. 

"You're doing fine," Julio assured him, taking a deep drag before passing it to Star, who, despite his initial reluctance, took it. He was beginning to worry all of Star's bad human habits would someday be traced directly back to him. Julio had probably stressed him out, too. Great. "I'm into what we've been doing," he added nonchalantly, ready to change the subject. "I can still taste your come in my mouth."

It worked. Star exhaled sharply, smoke drifting between his lips, and he leaned over and slicked his tongue into Julio's mouth, one hand pressed along Julio's jaw. Julio blinked at him as Star pulled back, looking thoughtful. Sitting up, Julio settled in the circle of Star's legs, facing him, alternating between drags on the joint and kisses to Star's mouth, until all that was left were the slow, sleepy kisses.

"We should sneak back," Star said eventually, unable to keep the mournful tone from his voice. 

"Yeah," Julio agreed. He watched through hazy eyes as Star stood up and pulled on his clothes. He just looked so good naked, and Julio really felt privileged that he got to see it so often and so openly. There was a huge difference, he realized, between what Shatterstar endured and what was freely given.

His cape of blankets back on and pinched closed by one hand below his chin, they started the long walk back to the X-Mansion. It was still dark outside, no hint of the sun on the horizon, and he thought about asking Star for a piggy-back ride, the dazed, dream-like exhaustion he was trapped in making it difficult to walk right, and then he could touch Star again, and press his face to the back of his neck.

That would be nice, but Star stopped suddenly, tensing, and Julio walked right into him. 

Cable sat there on the patio, a cup of coffee in his hands, and stared at them. Julio kept his mind as blank at he could, but he knew there was no ignoring the smell, even to a guy without enhanced senses. 

And Julio obviously wasn't wearing much under the blankets, which hit his bare legs at the knees. 

And Cable probably knew everything anyway.

And _fuck_. 

But Cable just sighed, sipped his coffee, and looked away. 

Star took a deep breath, like he intended to defend himself from being perceived as a monumental disappointment, so Julio – who had the most experience when it came to _actually_ being a monumental disappointment to Cable – jabbed him in the back, the universal symbol of don't-you-fucking-dare. 

Back in the room, after a brief stop at the bathroom to piss and wash up a little, Star wilted onto his bed. Julio walked by, heading straight for the leftover loaf of bread, which was only half empty, but Star grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him down. Julio eyed the bread then decided this was better. Star shuffled over to make room on the narrow bed, and Julio laid down beside him, sharing his pillow. 

"Cable knows I'm the bad influence," Julio assured him, "and his opinion of you doesn't matter."

Star remained unconvinced, his mouth drawn in an obstinate line, and Julio smiled a little. He felt himself dozing off and was pretty close to succumbing when Star started moving around on the bed. He cracked open an eye to see what the issue was, but Star was just peeling off his clothes, nothing strange about it. When Julio felt Star's hands around his waist, he lifted his hips and let him take his briefs off.

"Better?" Julio asked, amused, and Star nodded, his hand slipping across Julio's belly and resting there.

Julio was almost asleep when Star murmured, "thank you," and he nodded, not sure what he was being thanked for. It had been a long few hours, and he felt emotionally worn out and raw. Maybe Star got that. Or maybe it was for the blowjob. Julio didn't know, and he wasn't going to ask anyway. Not yet.

They fell asleep like that, head to head on Star's pillow, just when it was starting to get light outside, the blinds on the window unable to completely hide the morning sun. Normally, Star would be up by then, but when Julio finally opened his eyes around noon, Star was still there with him, awake but quiet. 

The day passed much the same, a late lunch and an even later dinner, both taken in the small rec room. Julio agreed to try four shows at once. He was convinced he was in no head-space to even follow one, so it didn't matter how many things Star watched. The turtleneck sweater he wore to hide the huge hickey on his neck kept him warm and comfortable, but inside, in his head, he didn't feel particularly good, listless and drowsy, some shade of sad. Star seemed to sense that and didn't force him to speak. 

It wasn't a bad day, Julio admitted when he was getting ready for bed, but it felt like a wasted one.

He stood at his mattress for a long time, thinking about what he wanted, then nearly jumped out of skin when Star came up beside him, silent and visibly concerned. Julio opened his mouth to assure him that he was okay, but Star didn't wait for him to say anything, just wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hugged him, long and hard. Pressing his face to Star's neck, Julio took a deep breath then exhaled.

For the second night in a row, he slept in Star's bed, with Star curled protectively around him.

He slept uninterrupted, and he didn't dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter to write. 
> 
> Posting schedule will speed up from here on out, as I would like to have all chapters posted before Yuletide rolls out on the 25th.


	7. Thursday

Julio woke up in a better mood, nestled snugly into blankets that smelled like Star. Julio had vague memories of Star climbing over him, making quiet shushing noises, but Star himself was long gone, and Julio took an extended moment to get his shit together. He had come out to Star, and it felt massive, but the idea of telling anybody who was not both his best friend and the guy he was having sex with seemed out of the question. He tried to imagine coming out to 'Berto or Tabs and part of him died inside. 

Small steps, he told himself, staring at the ceiling. It had to be enough for now. 

With a groan, he got up, had a good stretch, then tugged on the closest pair of sweatpants. Star's, judging by the way they hung past his ankles, but he wasn't overly concerned. The accidental sharing of pants seemed like a small thing once you had that guy's cock in your mouth.

It was early enough that he could still make breakfast if he took a quick shower. He washed up in record time, catching sight of himself in the mirror when he was towelling off. The hickey didn't look any better. He put a hand over it and walked to the first aid kit, rooting around until he found a band-aid. After a brief trip back to the room to pull on some clothes, he headed down to the dining hall. 

If anyone asked, he cut himself shaving. 

Terry was alone in the dining hall, a book in one hand, a spoon in the other. He waited for his bagel to toast, slathered it with peanut butter, then grabbed a coffee. Terry looked up when he sat down, eyes flicking briefly to his neck, and he braced himself to have to spin a web of lies, but she didn't comment.

They ate in companionable silence. He didn't know Terry as well as he knew Tabs and 'Berto, so he wasn't as good at talking to her. She seemed way older and wiser than he was, even though he was only a bit younger, but he knew she had demons, too, and, unfortunately, everyone knew about hers.

He noticed the book she was reading, the same one he'd read on Sunday while doing laundry. It felt like forever ago. "That one was pretty good," he commented, after swallowing both his mouthful of bagel and the macho bullshit in his head that told him he shouldn't admit to anything. "I think it's a series."

"I put the first one back in the laundry room, if you're tempted," she replied, smiling. "Didn't take you for a romance fan, though, Ric."

"I'll read anything if it's good enough," he admitted, "or if I'm bored out of my skull."

"All this sitting around is driving me batty," she said with a light laugh. 

"Fuck, me too. I have no clue what the hell we're waiting for."

They chatted for a bit about the laundry room library, the complete lack of missions, the superb quality of food at the X-Mansion, and it was nice. Normal. He still felt like he barely had his shit together, but at least he wasn't the only one going stir-crazy. He hadn't had so much down time since before his powers manifested. And boredom would probably explain a few things about Shatterstar right now, too. 

Maybe Star was bored enough to let Julio blow him again.

"Ric?" Terry said suddenly, clearly amused when he snapped back to attention. "I just totally lost you."

"Yeah, sorry. I'm still half asleep," he mumbled, holding up his coffee mug to hide the heat on his face.

They parted ways soon after. Julio decided to take a walk outside to cool off, but he quickly realized he couldn't even look in the direction of the pond without remembering. He headed to the computer lab instead, to dick around on the internet for a bit, but oddly, that was where he found Star, typing away at one of the terminals, eyes fixed on the screen. He couldn't even begin to guess what he was doing there.

Star looked up when Julio sat down across from him. "Hey," Julio said with a nod. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Star replied, turning back to the computer. "I am doing research."

Julio didn't know if Star was hiding something or just being his usual self, so he didn't worry about it. Instead, he opened up his email and sent a quick note to his mother so she knew he was still alive, then he did a quick search on his family name, to see what was going on. Nothing good, which didn't surprise him. He was so caught up in reading every news article, he didn't notice when Star sat down.

"You are troubled."

"It's just my family," Julio replied with a shrug, closing the browser. "What else is new?"

Star nodded, but didn't say anything, not that Julio needed him to. He was mostly venting for the sake of venting, and because it made him feel better about being here, with X-Force. With Shatterstar. 

Who was blatantly looking at his mouth right now.

"Want something, amigo?" Julio asked with a grin. 

Star looked away briefly, like he'd been caught red-handed, and it wasn't hard to guess why he maybe thought he had been. Yesterday had been ... weird, and probably not at all what Star had been expecting, if Star even had expectations for any of this. Everything new seemed like such a surprise, and Julio admitted that had made it pretty easy to just go along with Star without asking any questions.

So maybe it was time he stopped waiting for Star to make every first move and make some of his own. 

Despite the semi-public setting, Julio leaned over and put a hand on Star's waist, under his shirt. He was hyper aware of the buzz of the computers and the way the lights flickered. Rubbing a thumb over Star's skin, he murmured in Spanish, "we have time to kill before lunch. I can go down on you again."

Star looked around, eyes wide. "Here?" 

"I'm not blowing you in the computer lab," Julio replied quickly, laughing a little – because _absolutely not_ – "but in our room. If you want," he added, but Star was already standing up, heading for the door.

Julio followed, trying to play it cool, praying he didn't bump into anyone he knew. Star was known for just plowing past people, even his own teammates, without so much as an acknowledgement, but Julio had been around long enough that he had a sizable list of people he would feel obligated to chat with. He was done with worrying, or feeling sorry for himself, or trying to pretend he wasn't totally into this. 

He had to accept that this part of himself wasn't going to go away. That he didn't necessarily want it to go away, because if it did, it meant he couldn't be with Star, not like this, as unbelievable as _this_ was. Julio was still half-convinced he was living in a dream. This couldn't be real. 

But it was, and Star was just so into it. Even if Julio wanted to tell someone, no one would believe him. 

He made it to the room without interruptions, Star watching his every move as he locked the door and pulled down the blinds. Too many flying mutants, he thought, turning back to Star, who was standing in the middle of the room, eyes intensely focused on him, his lower lip chewed between his teeth. Cautious, not wanting to appear too eager, and Julio appreciated the thought and care Star showed.

It was also pretty unnecessary right then. Julio wanted this, too, clear-minded and equally desperate. 

Julio stepped up to him and slid his hands under Star's shirt, pulling it off. Reaching behind Star's head, Julio pulled the elastic of his ponytail off, careful not to pull. Star continued to watch him, silent, eyes wide and blue, remaining still as Julio popped open the button on his jeans and slowly unzipped them, revealing the white briefs underneath. He cupped Star's cock through the fabric, already hard and heavy in his hand, and rubbed him until he gasped for breath, bowing his head, his shoulders shaking.

Julio removed his hand, which Star protested with a murmur, then slipped his fingers under the waistband of Star's jeans and pushed them down his legs, where they gathered at his ankles. He touched Star's thigh, telling him to step out of them, then moved his hands across Star's hips, beneath the cotton briefs, and then tugged them off, too, over his straining erection and down his elegantly long legs.

With one hand on Star's bare chest, he pushed him back to the bed until he sat down one the edge then knelt in front of him, still fully dressed. When Star reached out for his sweater, Julio touched his hand and stopped him, kissing his palm before pressing it to the mattress. He turned his attention to Star's cock, ruddy and solid against his hip, slick at the tip. It was an amazing looking dick, better than porn, and he knew how incredible it tasted, and how perfectly it fit in his mouth, and how much he wanted it.

First, he pressed his mouth to Star's belly, kissing and licking, then moved lower, sucking at the crease between his leg and his groin, and then the inside of his thigh, before laving his balls lightly with his tongue. Star shifted beneath him, legs spread wide, hips twitching with every movement of Julio's lips. 

When Julio finally moved his mouth over his cock, gathering the pre-come at the tip with his tongue, Star's entire body tensed, like he was about to come, like he was fighting like hell not to. Julio quickly removed his mouth and grabbed Star's dick, keeping his grip firm on his shaft. Star groaned loudly. 

"We really have to work on our stamina," Julio murmured, running his other hand soothingly over Star's thigh, helping him through the feeling. "You doing okay? You want me to keep going anyway?"

"If you were not so pornographic, this would be much easier," Star mumbled, his hair in front of his face, breathing hard. 

Julio smirked, still rubbing Star's thigh. "And what do you know about pornographic?"

"Not as much as you," Star replied, looking up through his veil of hair, "but I have watched some. One."

Julio chuckled, feeling Star's tension melt away under his fingers. "Anything good?"

"Nothing that prepared me for you," Star said, raw and honest, not even trying to say the hottest thing Julio had ever heard in his life, but managing to anyway. "You may continue, Julio. I'm ready."

Julio wasn't sure he was, not after hearing that, but he took his hand away and replaced it with his mouth. Licking him, tasting him, running the tip of his tongue over the seam at the head of Star's cock. Star groaned, pivoting under the hand Julio kept pressed firm on his hip. With his other hand, he circled the base of Star's dick as he started sucking, lips pulled over his teeth, taking him in deeper and deeper until he choked a little. Julio moved back slightly, then tried again, determined to find the perfect depth.

Star arched suddenly, fingers twisting in the blanket covering his bed, and Julio looked up at him, met his gaze, and kept his focus on Star's face as Star came in his mouth, hot and salty and incredible. Continued sucking him through his orgasm, drawing out every last drop, until Star put a hand in his hair, his thumb brushing against Julio's temple. He sat back on his heels, licking his lips, swallowing.

Star stared at him for one heated second, then dragged him up, onto his lap, and kissed him hard, open-mouthed, tongue sliding against Julio's, tasting him. His hand slid into Julio's sweatpants, into his underwear, and gripped his cock, pulling it over his waistband, jerking him with a rough, determined hand, tearing the orgasm out of him. Julio came with a harsh groan, all over Star's smooth, sculpted chest.

Julio didn't even have a second to recover before someone was pounding on the door. He jumped, almost falling off Star's lap before Star caught him with a sticky hand. "What the fuck!" he shouted.

"Are you coming down for lunch, you grumpy bastard?" 'Berto yelled back with another hard thump, the door shaking ominously, "or are you going to lock yourself in there all day beating off?"

"Fuck you," Julio shouted, "and fuck off! I'll meet you down there!"

"I'm not saving you a seat!" 'Berto yelled, with one last bang, and then he finally left. 

When Julio looked back at Star, Star was staring. "Do you even like him?" Star asked.

"Yeah. It's not his fault he has bad timing," Julio said, leaning over and kissing Star again, finally taking that moment to recover. Once he had caught his breath, he sat back, running his fingers over his lips. Between sucking Star's cock and kissing his mouth, he had a feeling it was completely obvious what he'd been doing. "Does my mouth look okay? Does it look like I've been giving someone head?"

"I would know," Star replied, putting his thumb against Julio's lower lip, "but nobody else. It's fine."

Julio watched as Star got dressed, pausing once to drag a damp towel – rescued from the laundry, put there after Star's morning shower – across his chest. When Star moved towards the door, Julio couldn't help himself and hesitated. Star looked at him then nodded. "I will see you down there. You are okay?"

"I'm not freaking out," Julio assured him, smiling. "I just need a minute to get my shit together."

Star made a disbelieving face, and Julio laughed, shooing him away. He was actually fine, but he didn't want 'Berto to get any right ideas about the situation. He was smarter than he looked. After checking his face in the mirror, touching a finger briefly to the band-aid on his neck, he headed to the dining hall.

Maybe five minutes had passed between Star and Julio leaving, but in that five minutes, Star and 'Berto had somehow found something to disagree over, 'Berto making a series of wide, come-at-me gestures and Star standing back, with his arms crossed and his lips sneered distastefully. Terry and Tabs were clearly egging them on, laughing loudly, and Jimmy looked as sanguine as he always did, amused.

"You're going down, Shatty Buns," 'Berto crowed, throwing an across Jimmy's shoulders. 

"Do _not_ call me that," Star replied, cocking his chin, haughty, arrogant, "and I highly doubt I will."

Julio shook his head and went to make a sandwich.

When he came back, he discovered that Star had ended up challenging 'Berto to what Star kept calling _team sports_. Julio groaned, because 'Berto had probably just hustled Star, but it turned out to be volleyball, not football. Which was better, except Julio had somehow been dragged into all of this, and he had never been one for sports, not even when he'd been in school. Books had been more his thing. 

Regardless, Star informed him that it was imperative he participated. Dinner, he was told very seriously, was on the line. Losing team had to grill for everyone, even Tabs and Terry, who had declared themselves to be the scorekeepers, wanting nothing to do with this dick measuring contest. 

Their words, not his. 

"I'll explain it later," Julio muttered, in rough, low Spanish, when it became clear Star had taken the comment literally. Julio didn't even want to know how to this had all started – it had been _five fucking minutes_ – and he didn't want to know. Story of his life, but he really just wanted to eat his sandwich in peace.

"Do you even know how to play volleyball?" Julio asked, after lunch. 

"It cannot possibly be that hard," Star replied dismissively. 

"You know I'm kinda short, right?" Julio tried instead, but Star just stared at him. "Okay, fine. You should have picked Jimmy for your team, is all I'm saying, amigo. 'Berto has mean grilling skills."

"It has to be you," Star replied, without hesitation, "and Roberto will lose regardless. He is arrogant."

Julio physically had to force himself to keep from saying anything sarcastic – because holy shit, Star made it so easy sometimes – but decided he was just going to roll with it. This was the new, improved Julio Richter, the one who did not overthink or freak out or try to resist Star's weirdness, take two.

It was only a game, and it was clearly important to Star. That was all that mattered. 

They changed into shorts and t-shirts, Star's considerably tighter and skimpier than his. Julio had clearly not thought this through. He should have protested loudly and frequently, because there was no way he could convince his dick to ignore what his eyes were feasting on. Star was all lean legs and powerful thighs and sculpted ass, and Julio had forgotten every coping mechanism he had ever learned. The problem with being a superhero, he had always thought, was how fit every guy he knew was.

"Are you ready?" Star asked, impatient, and Julio nodded mutely. This was a terrible idea. 

Julio followed Star outside to a sandy pit he had previously dismissed as a casualty of someone else's ill-fated training session, where 'Berto and Jimmy where hanging up a volleyball net while Terry and Tabs lounged on nearby desk chairs. It was still cold enough he could have gotten away with a hoodie, but Star, 'Berto and Jimmy were all tugging off their shirts, and Julio felt peer-pressured to match them.

"Best of three sets wins," 'Berto said, after explaining the rules, ball tucked under his arm and barefoot in the sand, "and losers have to grill dinner for the winners and our amazing scorekeepers. No mutant powers, because Shatterstar and Jimmy basically cancel each out on the super strong beefcake index."

"Amen," Tabs said, cracking her gum, a large pair of pink-framed sunglasses on her face. She shifted the glasses down her nose and grinned. "Are you guys good to go? Terry and I are getting hungry."

"We are ready," Star assured her, rolling his shoulders. "Julio and I are also very hungry for food."

"Bring it, assholes," 'Berto replied, clapping his hands together, knees bent. Jimmy chuckled. 

"On your marks," Terry said, grinning, wearing a wide-brimmed hat that protected her fair skin from the sun, and she let out a little shriek, not enough to hurt, but enough to raise the hairs on Julio's arms. 

It became very clear very quickly who the competitive assholes were, and it wasn't him or Jimmy. It was hard to resist Star's determination, though, and Julio found himself actually taking the game seriously, because Star was so into it, so focused on winning and playing to the best of his ability and using every biologically-engineered gift he had been given to its maximum ability. 

They won the first set, and Julio lifted his hands for high-fives. Star stared at him for a long moment, clearly uncertain why his best friend was flapping his arms in the air. "Dude, come on," Julio said flatly, and Star lifted his own arms automatically. Julio slapped their hands together. "Like that."

"If you guys are done being weird," 'Berto said, rolling his eyes, "Jimmy and I have a set to win."

They did win the next one, much to Star's annoyance. During the break between sets, Julio gulped an entire bottle of water and used his t-shirt to mop the sweat off his face. Tabs watched him over her glasses, and he rolled his eyes and threw his t-shirt at her. She laughed, leaning back. "Nice, Ric."

"Whatever," he said, and walked back to his side of the sand.

"We must win this set," Star said seriously, in Spanish. "Please continue defending, and I will continue blocking. We make an excellent team." Star looked at him, eyes intense, strands of escaped red hair haloing his face. His long ponytail hung over his shoulder, sticking to his damp skin. "You are far better at volleyball than you led me to believe. It has been an honour playing with you, Julio."

Julio nodded, his face hot. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, Julio thought in a daze.

"Are you boys ready?" Terry called out, and, at their nods, sounded the final whistle.

Shatterstar was an unstoppable force, and Julio was pulled along, unable to resist. He face-planted in the sand more than once trying to keep the ball in play for Star so he could spike it. Star wasn't as tall as Jimmy, but his agility was unmatched on either side. He was also born to win, and while nobody was going to die – except Julio, who thought he was definitely going to if the game didn't end soon – Star approached them the same way. Without mercy, ruthless and single-minded, able to ignore all pain. 

Star smashed one last ball, Julio on his skinned knees in the sand, dry-heaving, and Jimmy and 'Berto both went after it, but it passed straight through their fingers and hit the ground hard. 'Berto dropped to a kneel, groaning, as Jimmy stumbled over to the water, chugging two bottles in quick succession. 

"Victory," Star said, breathing hard, savouring the win before offering his hand to Julio. Julio took it, wobbling a little, but he also didn't feel like crawling to the water so standing was better. Star gave him a quick once-over – probably to make sure he wasn't actually dying – then nodded, eyes bright and hot.

"I am seriously going to vomit," Julio said, making a beeline for the water.

"Ew, please don't," Tabs replied. "I have a winning meal to savour." 

'Berto grumbled a little, citing unfair natural advantages, but he and Jimmy started in on dinner, and then rest of the afternoon passed quickly into the evening. Once Julio caught his breath, he got into the victory celebration, laughing and chirping 'Berto, who was the second worst loser on the team, after Shatterstar. Jimmy didn't seem to care one way or the other, but took his lumps with his teammate. 

It was a good night, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Star, feasting on their winnings. 

After, they headed back to the room, and Julio grabbed his shower stuff. "I'll be back in a few," he said, and Star nodded, not paying him any attention. Julio shrugged and ducked into the hallway. 

The shower was empty, and he felt himself relax perceptibly. He was going to pay tomorrow. His knees were torn up, and he'd used muscles he hadn't even known existed, but he felt good, and the hot water felt _amazing_ on his skin. Part of him was tempted to sit down on the tile and just stay like that forever. 

The door to the showers opened, and he glanced over his shoulder briefly, surprised to discover it was Star. In all the time he'd known him, they had never ended up in a shower together, entirely due to Julio avoiding him like the fucking plague. He could ignore 'Berto or Jimmy or Sam but not Star. Never Star. 

He watched Star through lowered lids as he undressed, trying to appear disinterested. After years of disassociating in communal bathing spaces, it wasn't all that hard, but he'd never had sex with any of those bodies he so studiously ignored either, so it also wasn't perfect. The panicky part of him made itself known, and he tried to push it away. Star was aware of things at all times. Julio had to trust that.

Star didn't try to approach him, but he also didn't hide. He turned on the tap and ducked under the water, wetting his hair, dark orange tendrils cascading down his back. He was so fucking gorgeous, and he knew it, and that should have annoyed Julio, but it never had. It was just the way Shatterstar was. 

Julio lathered his hair, eyes still on Star, and Star looked back at him, his hands slick with body-wash. He began to soap himself up, beginning at the shoulders then under each arm, over his chest and stomach, then between his legs, his cock, balls, before he reached behind, making it clear what he was washing, legs slightly spread. Julio swallowed hard and ducked his hair under the water, rinsing out. When he looked up, Star was still gazing at him, and Julio squirted his own body-wash into his hand. 

He washed slowly, eyes half on the door, but he gave Star the show he so clearly wanted, hyper-aware of his own body, the maleness of it, the feeling of his own strength beneath his skin, hard and powerful. It felt good, just once, to relax in there, and he gave himself that moment of freedom before stopping it. 

"I'll see you back in the room," Julio said, reaching for a towel then cinching it tight around his waist.

Star nodded and began to lather his hair. Julio allowed himself one last, long look and then left. 

He stood at the window, waiting for Star to get back, still wearing just the towel. His hair hung damp and cool around his ears, and he stared into the night, hard and yearning. Between the volleyball game and the shower, he was so worked up that his skin felt like it was on fire. Star's hand on his cock, Star's cock in his mouth, it felt like ages ago, like the faintest of memories. Time had compressed in his head. 

The door opened then closed with the click of the lock. Julio looked over his shoulder, and Star returned his gaze, already moving to him. Julio reached over and drew down the blind, then turned around. Star's hands came under his chin, tilting his head, and he kissed Julio deeply on the mouth. A week of kissing, and Star was the best he had ever had, knowing exactly how to get Julio to arch into him. His hands moved against Julio's waist, pulling off the towel, and then Star was kissing down his neck, his chest, his stomach, until he was kneeling with his hands firmly on Julio's hips. 

And then his mouth, wet and open, his tongue moving over the head of Julio's cock reverently. Holy shit, Julio thought, back twisting, fingers flexing, and Star took his hands and put them in his damp hair. He swayed on his feet, and Star swept him up with one graceful movement, releasing Julio's cock just long enough to set him on the bed, then sucking him in again, sloppy, rhythm-less, but perfect. 

Julio didn't last long, and he warned Star, but he knew enough about what Star liked by now to know that he wouldn't pull back, that he would suck him through his orgasm, that he would swallow. Julio came hard, Star's long hair wrapped around his knuckles, then collapsed back in a daze, chest heaving.

"Holy shit," Julio said and pulled Star up between his legs, kissing him like Julio had been kissed. He held Star against him, legs wrapped around his waist, and urged him on with a hand on his back. His cock slid wetly against Julio's tense abs, hot and hard and needy, and Julio pressed his mouth to Star's neck, sucking and biting at his skin, leaving his own mark, knowing it would be gone by morning. 

Star came with a gasp, mouth pressed to Julio's hair, then slumped against him. If Star had been anybody else, it would have been suffocating, but he was so light that his size seemed comfortable. He could probably sleep like this if he had to, Star draped over his chest, his hair spread over them like a blanket, but Star eventually shuffled towards the wall, making no moves to go back to his own bed. 

"I really enjoyed winning with you," Star said, nosing at Julio's temple sleepily. 

"It was good," Julio agreed, smiling. "Thank you for challenging 'Berto to a dick-measuring contest."

"I am bigger than he is," Star mumbled. "It is a deeply unfair competition."

"Nobody means it literally. It's an idiom," Julio explained, tugging up the blankets, covering them both in them. "It basically means you competed to demonstrate your worthiness or whatever to determine who was better. It means the same as a pissing contest. You don't piss on people for that one either."

"I would win that, too," Star insisted, eyes closed, and Julio fell asleep, having no doubts at all.


	8. Friday

Julio woke up with a jolt to his alarm, some vague essence of a nightmare fuzzy in his head, but nightmares were a constant companion, and he wasn't overly concerned. The stiffness and pain he was currently feeling was more of an issue. He hurt _everywhere_. With a groan, he lurched into a sitting position, and stretched out his legs, examining his knees. Starting to scab, red and sore to the touch.

Still worth it, he thought, smiling a little. Star had been pleased, and 'Berto had been miserable. 

Win-win, really.

Julio stood up, had another good stretch, then grabbed his bottle of Tylenol and popped two in his mouth, swallowing them dry. Blearily, he changed into his uniform, then headed to the dining hall to grab a coffee and some food before the training session with X-Force. He loaded his coffee up with brown sugar, sprinkled it with cinnamon, then grabbed two blueberry muffins and a banana. 

His mind drifted to the night before, though he tried to ignore it. Star had sucked his cock. That was a thing that had happened, and it had been so fucking good that it felt like his brain was short-circuiting whenever he tried to think anything beyond _wet_ and _hot_ and _wow_. He'd loved blowing Star, but receiving a blowjob was a different thing entirely. No nerves, no worries, just Star's amazing mouth.

Julio paused mid-way through peeling his banana, suddenly unsure if he could eat it. 

If Julio could ask Star only one question, it would probably be: why the fuck did you wait until we were surrounded by a shit tonne of mutants, some of them telepaths, before asking me to do _this_? How many other people were fucking around that he didn't know about? Did everyone do this? There were so many unanswered questions. The worst was: did anyone suspect them of fucking around? 

Probably not, he decided, tentatively chewing on the banana, keeping his mind blank. 

_He_ could barely believe it half the time, and he was the one doing it. 

Just keep going with it, he told himself, grimly finishing his banana. You're doing fine. Better than you expected. One major freak out, and things were only weird for, like, a day and a half, maximum. 

Julio tested his coffee – still hot, but drinkable – then set to also wolfing down both muffins, alternating between huge gulps and doughy mouthfuls, determined to at least arrive to training on time, if not early. Once done, he put his plate and mug into the wash pile and headed over to the Danger Room.

Star and Terry were already there, talking quietly as Star polished his swords with a ratty piece of fabric Julio suspected had once been a t-shirt. They both looked up when he entered and then continued their conversation, which was the only reason he was convinced it wasn't about him. Otherwise, holy shit. 

Star had to know not to tell anyone, Julio thought, starting to warm up. That had to be obvious. 

But then cooking chicken before eating it had seemed obvious, and Star had done that more than once.

Don't worry about it, he told himself, don't overthink it. Thankfully, 'Berto picked that moment to come marching into the Danger Room, already stretching his arm across his chest. "I can fight Mr. Sinister for hours with no problem, but three sets of beach volleyball, and I can barely move my legs."

"And you didn't even win, mano," Julio replied, laughing as he dodged 'Berto's retaliatory shove.

Jimmy came in with Tabs, who looked like she was sleeping on her feet, and then they waited for Cable and Domino to show, but after ten minutes, it became obvious they weren't coming. "Does anyone feel like something huge is going down and nobody is telling us shit?" Tabs asked finally to a round of nods. 

"What are we even doing here?" Terry asked. "We've been at the Mansion for ages. This isn't X-Force."

"Cable tried to get me to think about college," 'Berto admitted. "That was really fucking weird."

Julio nodded, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Me too."

"It feels weird around here, tense, like the X-Men are expecting something big and bad," Jimmy said, and it was Shatterstar who nodded at that, visibly grim. "But what can we do other than wait it out?"

"We can train," Terry decided, "and make damned sure we're ready for any nasty that shows up."

Terry led the training session, with even Tabs going along with it, despite it still being the morning. It felt good to be with them, falling into formation and fighting their ways through every obstacle the Danger Room threw at them. Julio found himself supporting Terry, backing her up when she needed someone to bounce ideas off, and it was exactly what he had needed to get his head back into the game.

He tried not to watch Star, who clearly wasn't satisfied with the quality of opponents, but he was a wonder to behold when he was fighting. Quick as hell, agile beyond anything Julio had ever seen in another living person, his silver swords slicing effortlessly and brutally through every foe he faced. 

It was a good training session, and Julio left feeling like they had accomplished something. It helped that Cable wasn't there, treating them like soldiers and insisting they practice working telepathically, which Julio was still not on board with and never would be. His mind was his own, nobody else's. 

He took a quick shower after, wishing it had been a bath instead, and then went back to the room. He laid down for a few minutes, tempted to go back to sleep. He needed something to pass the time. Star, maybe, if he decided to come back to the room. More television was a possibility, too, but he couldn't handle any more teen dramas. He could do laundry, he supposed, and read that book Terry put back.

Or he could just nap, which seemed like the easiest option. 

He woke up a little later to the same empty room. He'd missed lunch, and he was still sore enough that more Tylenol seemed like a necessity. Dragging on a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie, he wandered down to the small rec room. Star was there watching three separate action movies, an array of mindless explosions in a timed cycle, and he shuffled over a little when Julio plopped down on the couch. 

"You haven't told Terry anything, have you, about this?" Julio asked, just to get it out of the way.

"Your secrets are not mine to tell," Star replied, looking over at him with a strange expression. "We have discussed my thoughts at times, but nothing that would ... implicate you or what we do together."

"I didn't think so, but you know me," Julio said lightly, like he meant it jokingly, but Star nodded. "I mean, I'm glad you have Terry to talk to. It's good. Healthy," he added, "to have friends other than me."

Star frowned. "You were not always there."

"Yeah," Julio said, "I never apologized for that properly. I shouldn't have left like that. I'm sorry."

Star nodded, serious and something that almost looked like sadness. Julio had never felt good about it, had told himself, lying in the bed he grew up in, that Star would be fine, but Tabs had emailed to tell him how Star had been shot, how he'd almost died, and how messed up he'd been after. It was Star's strength of character – not his – that had allowed them to resume their friendship when he returned.

Now their friendship had transformed into this, and he didn't have words to describe what they were.

But it was good, and he didn't doubt Star had his back or that he had Star's. 

Rictor and Shatterstar, against the world. Julio smiled to himself, pressing one of his feet to Star's thigh, and relaxed a little when he felt Star's fingers curl around his bare ankle. He sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed the movies and Star's warm touch. From time to time, he stretched, working out the stiffness.

"Julio," Star said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

Star hesitated, and Julio flashed back to last Friday, before everything. It felt similar, and Julio wondered what it could possibly be, what would make Star reluctant to continue. Julio had been pretty game for everything so far, and he'd even gone places, emotionally, he hadn't thought he would ever go. 

Did Star want to fuck him? That thought made him feel light-headed, but mostly because he hadn't spent much time thinking about being on the receiving end, but it would definitely be okay with him, if Star was curious. Or was it something kinky? Julio was pretty open-minded about most things, if Star wanted to try them, and he thought he had been pretty good about Star's obvious fascination with come. And Star didn't seem to mind how much his hair got Julio off, even encouraged him to play with it. 

"Anything, Star," Julio reminded him. 

Julio was imagining a variety of pornographic things, so when Star said, "I would like to go to a dance," he kind of gaped like an idiot for a second, his vivid imagination stopped dead in its tracks. "With you," Star added, "so we could dance together." He stared straight ahead, mouth drawn in a straight line. "I understand it would be deeply uncomfortable for both us, but if we were together ..."

Julio's brain suddenly caught up to the conversation, and he got it. At least some of it, anyway. Dance together, which would mean ... "I've been to gay clubs before," Julio said quietly, mouth a little dry. "That's where I, you know. Kissed those guys. The music is pretty loud, though. Are you sure?"

"I do not mean a club," Star said. "I mean a dance."

"Do you have a dance in mind?" Julio asked, trying to act like he hadn't almost been stunned into silence. He would have been less surprised if Star had asked to fuck him over the back of the couch.

"Yes," Star replied stiffly, and Julio tried not to smile. "It is tonight. If you are not busy." 

Julio allowed the tiniest grin to escape, unable to bite it back. "I think I could fit it into my schedule."

And so, after dinner, Julio found himself dressing in his second best outfit – Star had been very insistent about that, and Julio really only had two sets of clothing that could be defined by the word _nice_ , so the choice was pretty easy – a pair of black pants and a black collared dress shirt, no tie, topped with a green vest. He brushed product into his hair with his fingers and applied a few puffs of cologne. 

The vague feeling of _what the fuck_ was still bouncing around in his head, which was hilarious, after everything. He looked over at Star, who was pulling his hair back into a high ponytail, dressed in a pair of beige khakis, a white dress shirt unbuttoned at the neck, and a navy blue sweater vest. Julio had never seen Star in such normal clothing; he couldn't even begin to guess how he ended owning them.

"Is this acceptable?" Star asked, staring at himself in the mirror. 

"You look very wholesome," Julio replied, smiling. 

Star nodded then grabbed his wallet. He looked longingly at his swords, like he was second-guessing his decision to leave them behind, but then he squared his shoulders and went to put on his shoes. Julio sat down on his own bed and did the same, then he hopped up and grabbed his coat and his wallet. 

They weren't quite sneaking down to the garage, but Julio had no desire to run into anybody and have to explain just what exactly was happening here. Star was acting like a man off to his execution, but he seemed determined. Julio, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with the need to dance with Star.

"We're not stealing this, right?" Julio asked as Star marched over to the bike he had the key for. 

"I have full permission from Cable," Star replied, handing Julio a helmet, then fitting the other one over his own head. He swung a leg over the motorcycle and sat down. "Though he is deeply disappointed by my recent behaviour, he assures me I am not a prisoner here, and I can leave the premises at will."

"Did you mention me?"

"He assures me he is no longer surprised by anything you do," Star replied, and Julio rolled his eyes. "He knows you are with me. I did not give him the particulars, because it is not his business. Okay?"

That was good enough for him. Julio nodded and climbed onto the bike behind Star, since that seemed to be what Star was waiting for and what he expected. A little thrill of pleasure mixed with excitement zipped down his back, and he tried to relax, his groin snug to Star's ass, his arms around his waist. Star also drove a motorcycle like he didn't care about his own life, so Julio knew to hold on extremely tight.

Star knew exactly where they were going, so Julio just sat back enjoyed the ride, the engine purring. They only almost died three times due to Star's love of reckless lane changes and sharp turns, and then they were pulling up to a community centre in a town only marginally larger than Salem Center. Outside one of the doors was a placard covered in rainbows and info about a dance for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults. Julio stared at it for a long time, a strange feeling in his stomach, different from anything he'd felt outside a gay club, where he'd felt protected by the noise, alcohol, and flashy lights.

Star looked equally reluctant, but Julio knew it wasn't for the same reasons. Ever since that disastrous night at Limelight, Star had absolutely refused to come out with him, and Julio hadn't tried to force him. And if he wanted to leave now, that was fine, too. Julio wasn't going to make him do anything.

"Nobody but you dances with me," Star said softly, in Spanish. "I am not ready for ... contact ... with other people. Not yet. Someday, perhaps, but for the moment," he looked at Julio, serious, "just you."

Julio wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but it didn't really matter. "I've got your back, Star."

Star nodded then marched up to the entrance and brusquely demanded two tickets, clearly overwhelming the two girls sitting at the table, and Julio mouthed _sorry_ as he followed Star inside. 

"I forgot something," Star murmured in his ear and, before Julio could protest, walked away. 

And then he was alone. He wandered over to the refreshment table, where a very friendly middle-aged woman served him a glass of punch, and then he waited for Star to return. What the fuck, seriously. This night just kept getting weirder. He was pretty sure Star hadn't just abandoned him here, but who really knew?

Annoyed, Julio let his eyes drift over the scene in front of him. 

It was ... very different from anywhere Julio had been to before. Wooden dance floor, a disco ball that had seen better days, a few people milling around, either solo or in small groups, but nobody actually dancing. The music was good though, and Julio had danced in worse situations and enjoyed himself. 

"You're new."

Julio looked up into the smiling face of a guy his age, blond with eyes bluer than Star's, dressed in a similar sweater vest but wearing it on a much slimmer frame. Julio resisted the urge to look around, wondering who was talking to. "Yeah, I guess," Julio said, sipping his punch. "I'm here with someone."

"Oh, of course," the guy replied with a light laugh. "A word of warning: these dances are pretty bad."

Julio shrugged. "I'm not expecting much. The music's good, and this punch is pretty tasty." 

"Yeah, and you'd think everybody would be dancing. It is what it is, I guess. This area's not really known for its nightlife. And my mom made the punch, so I'll let her know." His smile was dazzling, and Julio looked down into his cup. If Star ever learned to smile like that, _mierda_. "What's your name?"

Julio paused, not sure what to use here. "Julio," he said eventually. 

"I'm Erik. With a K." 

"Nice to meet you."

Two things happened simultaneously: a new song came on, slow and easy, and Erik made a sudden noise, halfway between a whistle and a sigh. "Not to alarm you, Julio, but the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life just walked in. He has to be lost. No one that hot ever comes to these things."

Julio looked up, expecting to see Star, and not at all surprised when he was right. The only thing missing was the star on his face. Julio continued sipping his punch, eyeing Star demurely through his lashes, and tried not to smile when Star stopped in front of him and asked, "will you dance with me?"

"Sure," Julio replied, putting his cup down. He followed Star onto the empty dance floor, and then they stood, facing each other, and Julio finally let his grin break through. "Put your arms on my shoulders," 

"Like this?" Star asked, wrists sliding delicately against the collar of Julio's shirt.

Julio put his hands on Star's hips, leading him, showing him how to sway with the music. "Yeah."

It was a little surreal, dancing with Star like they were at prom, staring into each other's eyes. It should have been ridiculous, something to laugh about, because this wasn't what they were or ever would be, but for the moment, Julio forgot about being Rictor the mutant and member of X-Force, and just focused on being Julio, who covered up all his insecurities with sarcasm and still needed a lot of work.

"You look really weird without the star on your face, amigo," Julio murmured. "Image inducer?"

"Yes, I almost forgot it," Star replied, mirroring every step Julio took. Not quite a natural, but not terrible either. Julio moved them a bit closer, just to see if that helped. "I was concerned people would stare."

"Trust me, star or no star, they're staring. Just keep looking at me."

Star scowled but nodded, and Julio smiled, only a little disappointed when the song ended and a catchy, upbeat tune started up instead. When Star tried to leave the dance floor, Julio caught him by the wrist. If Star could manage to coax him out of his comfort zone, then he could at least try to do the same for him. 

"Stay, please," he said, with a light tug. "Dancing can be fun. Let me show you."

"I don't know how," Star replied. 

"You know the moves," Julio insisted, lowering his voice, knowing Star would be able to hear him over the music. With the beat of the song, Julio started moving his shoulders, followed by his arms. Star watched him warily, as Julio's hips caught the movement. "Dancing is just sex with your clothes on."

Star made a disbelieving face, and Julio became even more determined to prove him wrong. He let the music control every muscle in his body, keeping his eyes locked on Star's, as he shimmied and swayed, mimicking the rhythm with his hips and ass, pressing up close to Star, who looked down at him, his throat bobbing with each swallow he took. Julio put a hand on his lower back, reeling him in tight.

"Mirror me, like you were doing before," he murmured, and Star's hips moved slightly, like liquid. "Yeah, like that. Let me control this. Let me show you why I love dancing so much. Trust me, Star."

Star nodded, and Julio concentrated on his using his hand to tell Star how to move. He remained keenly aware of where they were – in public, among strangers, at a small town dance and not a club in the big city – so he kept it as chaste as he could, but dancing like this was inherently sexy, and he could tell Star felt it, too. He looked gorgeous in his ridiculous sweater vest and khakis, and it was hard not to respond after his body had basically been conditioned to it. Their gaze remained locked, hot and heady. 

"You dance like this with strangers?" Star asked, placing one hand on Julio's shoulder, thumb brushing his neck. He sounded vaguely scandalized, and Julio couldn't help but laugh a little, acknowledging the question by shaking his hips and skimming his hand lower on Star's back, tugging him even closer. 

"Not quite," Julio admitted. 

Star lasted the rest of the song and the next four, and then he decided he needed to have some punch. Julio accepted that was probably as much as Star was willing to handle for the time being, at least when it came to fast songs. He wouldn't mind another slow one; maybe he'd be the one with his arms on Star's shoulders, Star's hands around his hips. This was a vast improvement over the last dance he'd been to: thirteen years old, a skinny kid with bad hair and bad skin, a big ball of confusion and nerves.

"You should ask that person you were speaking with to dance," Star said suddenly. 

"He doesn't want to dance with me," Julio replied, feeling weirdly flustered by the suggestion. 

"You are wrong about that. He may have noticed me, but it's you he has been staring at since we started dancing. As he should. You are very attractive, and when you dance, you are mesmerizing." Stated factually in a way that made it clear Julio couldn't argue with the statement, even though he wanted to. "But if you are not comfortable with it, then I will not pressure you. I just thought it would be kind."

Julio understood Star was trying to help him in his own way. He was pretty sure by now that half of this thing they were doing was about him, even if he still wasn't letting himself consider the bigger picture. _This is for you, too_ , Julio remembered Star saying. It would have been easy to convince himself it had just been Star he'd responded to and nothing more than that. But Erik was cute and friendly, and Julio did want to dance more, especially after the week he'd had at the X-Mansion, with just ... everything. 

"You are overthinking," Star said gently.

"Story of my fucking life," Julio replied with a harsh laugh. "You'll be fine here?"

Star nodded. "I have been told when I glower, I am quite unapproachable and terrifying."

"That's the understatement of the century, amigo," Julio replied, scanning the crowd for Erik. He found him, sitting by himself, nursing his own cup of punch. This really wasn't much of a dance, and he hoped, for his sake, he'd someday go into New York and party for real. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"The next slow dance is mine," Star said, arms crossed over his chest, chin already lifted haughtily. 

Julio nodded mutely, then crossed the room, weirdly nervous. "Hey," he said, "do you want to dance?"

Erik blinked, obviously surprised by the question. "Your boyfriend doesn't mind?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Julio replied easily. "He's my best friend, and he really hates dancing."

Erik looked at him strangely, and Julio stared back. He knew what it looked like, but he wasn't asking anyone to understand their relationship except him and Star. "I'd love to," Erik finally said, standing. 

It was fun, better than he was expecting. Erik was a great dancer, and he didn't mind making a fool of himself or the fact the dance floor was mostly empty. Julio could have danced alone, but it was more fun with someone else. Star had all the tools to be a great partner, showy and agile and creative, but it hadn't happened yet. Maybe someday. Nothing seemed out of the realm of possibility anymore.

They danced for a while, and then the song switched into something slower. Erik backed away with a smile, and Julio didn't need to see Star to know he was behind him. After a week of weird nights, this one had to be near the top. Or maybe this was the most normal they had ever been. Julio didn't know. 

"Did you like the punch?" Julio asked, sliding his arms around Star's neck. 

"It was pure sugar," Star replied and, to confirm, pressed his mouth to Julio's, licking into it and letting him taste. Julio tightened his fingers against the back of Star's head, partially in protest, then said fuck it – he'd never see any of these people again, why worry – and enthusiastically kissed him back. 

Star danced with him two more times, even though they were fast songs, and then Julio took pity on him and declared it was time to leave. "I want McDonald's, though," Julio said, grabbing his coat. 

Star made a face, taking his coat when Julio handed it to him and shrugging it on. "Why?"

"It's tradition for me," Julio replied, laughing, "even though I'm sober, and it won't taste as good. And I slept through lunch, so I'm fucking starving after all that dancing. Humour me, Star. It won't kill you."

Star protested all the way to the bike, but he got on behind Julio, pressed snugly against Julio's back, warm and solid, and he even ordered something – a Big Mac, a side salad and a bottle of water – after Julio offered to pay. They ate in companionable silence, with Star occasionally stealing a fry. As more people came in, most of them their age, laughing and drunk, Star watched them with a thoughtful look.

"They seem very far away," Star said quietly, switching to Spanish.

"We live very different lives," Julio agreed, sipping his Sprite, trying to imagine it. He couldn't. 

Julio talked Star into a strawberry sundae and got a hot fudge one for himself. They ate them outside, even though it was fucking freezing, Julio sitting sideways on the bike, Star squeezed in beside him. Julio watched him carefully poke at the ice cream with the plastic spoon before finally eating it. Despite the crowd inside, Julio thought about what it would be like to kiss him and share the taste. 

He couldn't do it, not this open and exposed, but maybe someday, if he ever worked his shit out.

"This was fun, Star," he said suddenly, ignoring where his head was going. "Thanks for suggesting it."

"You're welcome, Julio," Star replied. "Like the alcohol, I could be convinced to try again someday."

Julio smiled, bumping him with his shoulder. "I'll keep that in mind." 

Star nodded as Julio grabbed their empty sundae containers and pitched them into the closest garbage, then they got themselves settled properly on the bike, Star at his back again. They rode back through the dark, cold wind whipping against Julio's skin, keeping him awake and aware. It wasn't that hard to stay alert anyway, with Star's arms tight around his waist and his thighs pressed along Julio's hips.

The mansion was quiet when they pulled up to the garage, parking the bike and locking everything behind them. They walked through the empty halls, holding their shoes, not quite creeping. Back in the room, Julio changed out of his sweaty dress clothes and into a pair of fresh boxers. He thought about a shower, but it was too late, and he'd have one in the morning, or whenever he actually woke up. Noon.

Sitting down on the bed, he examined his knees. Better, no worse for wear, barely sore anymore. When he looked up, Star was staring at him, fully clothed, his expression indecipherable, and Julio tilted his head questioningly. What's going through his head, Julio thought, when he looks at me like that? 

"I will ask you tomorrow," Star decided, just like that, as if Julio had even realized what was going on.

"You sure?" Julio asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. It can wait."

Star started undressing, tugging off his sweater vest then unbuttoning his dress shirt. Pulling his belt off, he unzipped his pants and stepped out of them, leaving him standing in just his tighty-whiteys and a pair of brown socks. His look changed, something a little more obvious, thanks to his thin underwear. Julio sat back a little, stretching out, showing off, and Star's eyes raked across the length of his body. 

"I was just remembering how you looked when you danced," Star explained.

"You liked that?" Julio asked as Star stepped forward, toeing his socks off, one after the other.

"It is the only time you let your guard down," Star said, "other than when we are together, like this."

Julio scrunched up his nose, not sure what to feel about that comment, because if Star could pick up on that, it had to be the most obvious thing in the world. He almost said something, but then Star climbed onto his lap, huge and lanky and barely weighing anything, and Julio stopped worrying about anything except the smooth skin on Star's lower back and the way Star's hands moved carefully on Julio's face.

"May I?" Star asked, running a thumb over the band-aid still stuck to Julio's neck. Julio nodded, amused, and Star cautiously pulled it off, his thumb swiping over the skin beneath. "It's almost gone."

"No more hickeys on my neck," Julio replied, smiling. "I must have been high when I agreed to that."

Star frowned briefly, and then he lowered his head to kiss him. They made out slow and easy for a long time, as Julio's moved his fingers over Star's back, tracing each muscle, every bump of his spine. When he had explored everything there, he moved his hands to the front. The rise of his pecs, the slope of his stomach, all of it leading down to his hips and the hard cock between them, visible through his thin underwear. He palmed Star through the white fabric, dragging his hand over the length of his erection.

Star gasped into his mouth, body tensing, shivering, and Julio tugged on the waistband of his underwear, dragging them off, then squirmed out of his boxers, trying to keep Star exactly where he was on Julio's lap and failing miserably. They moved around, all legs and arms, until they were twisted up on the bed, chest to chest, cock to cock. Julio moved his hand over both of them and stroked hard. 

"Fekt," Star gasped, ankles hooking around the back of Julio's knees, his head thrown back. 

Julio pressed his forehead to Star's jaw, thrusting slowly against him, their cocks sliding together between his fingers. The heat and the slickness was almost too much. When his hips lost the rhythm, Star picked it up, mirroring what Julio had been doing, like he'd done when they were dancing. 

Star put his hands on Julio's face and kissed him, tongue sweeping in between his lips. Julio moved his hand more quickly, his fingers determined to drive them both to the edge. Star kept making hot gasping noises, and Julio deepened their kiss, trying to keep him quiet, the elbow of his free arm pressed into the pillow above Star's head, holding his weight as they slipped and pressed together, equally desperate.

Star's legs tightened around his hips, and he came with a low moan into Julio's mouth. Julio followed quickly after, Star's fingers tangled in his hair, his thumbs high on Julio's cheek. They kissed for a bit longer, lazy and slow, before Julio's arm finally gave out and he collapsed on the bed, boneless, sated. 

They laid there, looking each other, and Star's expression shifted into that strange, nameless one. 

"You sure you don't want to ask anything?" 

"I'm sure," Star repeated. "I will ask you tomorrow."

Eventually, Star got up. He scrubbed his stomach with his dress shirt, then walked to the door and turned off the light, bare feet padding lightly across the wooden floor. He admired the sight of Star's naked body then began to drift off, his eyes heavy. He opened them briefly when Star climbed over him and squeezed himself between Julio and the wall. Julio shifted a bit until Star had enough space. 

"I never tasted your mouth after your ice cream," Star said suddenly. 

"Next time," Julio promised him, without really thinking about it, and Star nodded against his cheek. 

They slept.


	9. Saturday

Julio woke up before noon, with a mere twenty minutes to spare, the bed empty beside him. He felt decently alive – tired, of course, but he was always tired – and grabbed his stuff to go take a quick shower before lunch. A quick check of the hickey confirmed what Star had noted: it was mostly gone. It was a little funny, and a lot sad, that he'd made it so far in life before finally getting one from Star.

He showered quickly and efficiently, then returned to the room to pull on some clothes. His stomach grumbled all the way to the dining room, convinced he was starving to death, and he made himself a giant sandwich and a cup of coffee, before sitting down and flipping through a day-old newspaper someday had abandoned. He wished he had a pen so he could attempt the half-finished crossword. 

Tabs shuffled in while he was eating, eyes narrow, bleary slits. She grabbed two apples, a coffee and a bag of chips then sat down across from him. "Did you and Shatty go out last night or something?"

"I took him to McDonald's," Julio replied, forcibly bland, thumbing through the sports section.

"You should have taken me with you," Tabs moaned, drawing it out to a whine. "I'm so bored."

Julio shrugged, sipping his coffee, scanning the obituaries. "You weren't around when we left. Sorry."

"I miss Sam," Tabs blurted out suddenly, and Julio finally looked up. She looked miserable, and he had no idea why she thought talking to him about relationship stuff was a good idea. She knew as well as anyone how inexperienced he was with shit like this. They'd been together, as mutants, for a long time.

"Have you talked to him recently?"

"He blows me off. He's always so busy." She blew on her coffee, testing it with a wince. "It sucks."

"Yeah, seriously," Julio agreed. "I didn't take him for such an asshole, Boom Boom. I'm sorry."

Tabs shrugged. "It's fine. He's an X-Man, right? Whatever. I'm over it. Pity party over."

Tabs left, deciding that if he and Star could leave, so could she and Terry, who were long overdue for a girl's day out, and he got up and went to the computer lab. He checked his email. His mom had replied back, typing in all caps, detailing everything he was missing back home – three cousins in jail, two births and a line about the woman who had just moved in next door, his age, beautiful, single – and he typed out a short response, talking mostly about the weather and his boredom, nothing of substance.

After hitting send, he poked around for a bit, aimless and listless, before even that required too much effort. He went outside for a walk, unable to even look in the direction of the pond. Days later, the unease of embarrassment still poked at his head, reminding him that he had basically _cried_ , but better Star than anyone else, and Star didn't seem too traumatized. So everything was fine, perfectly fine. 

Overthinking, Julio thought, scratching a hand through his hair, has to be my greatest personal strength.

Julio sat down in the grass and crossed his legs, trying to take a page out of Star's book. He wasn't one for meditation, but he did like feeling ... whatever it was he felt when he concentrated on the earth like this, the fault lines humming under him, faint, buried, but always there, stretching out like a web, all around him. Trying to explain it to Cable and Domino was what had led him to extra training sessions.

"If you straighten your back, you can breath more deeply," Star said, in Spanish, sitting down.

Julio cracked open an eye. "I'm not really doing this seriously. I just needed to get out of the house."

"It's good to hear that," Star said, looking at him with that familiar contemplative expression. "If you are interested, I would like you to accompany me into New York City this afternoon for an overnight trip."

Julio opened both his eyes, meditation forgotten in the wake of an adrenaline spike. "Mission?"

"No," Star replied, and Julio felt his shoulders slump a little just as Star added, "I would like to lose my virginity to you, and I know you would not be entirely comfortable here. I have Cable's permission."

"To lose your virginity?" Julio repeated, stunned, his heart racing in a completely different way. 

"To spend the night in New York City," Star said gently, touching a finger to Julio's palm, "with you."

Julio blinked, then blushed harder than he ever had in his life. His brain had finally caught up to the discussion, and a lot of things were happening at once: hot skin, immediate hard-on, dry mouth, nerves. It was so easy to imagine that he had to look away for a moment and contemplate his entire strange life. Think with your head, he told himself firmly, ignore your dick, ignore the way Star's looking at you.

"I would like to do this with you," Star said finally, miles away from where he'd been last Friday, when he'd been unsure of Julio's response to his tentative question. This Star was confident and knowing, and Julio wondered if _he_ would have found the balls to ask eventually. Probably, he decided, definitely. 

"My brain is short-circuiting, amigo," Julio replied with a small, breathy laugh. "Give me a minute."

"I want to know you were the first. In everything."

"You gotta stop talking," Julio said faintly, and Star's cheek twitched briefly, but he didn't smile. It was in his eyes, though, warm and bright. Julio shifted his gaze away, cheeks still burning. "For the record, almost no one would say you're still a virgin." He said it lightly, like it was a joke, but it was also true. 

"You know what I mean," Star replied.

Julio nodded, looking back at him. "Yeah, okay, if you're sure." 

Star exhaled slightly, and it was only then that Julio understood that he had been a little nervous, too. Star stood up first and then offered his hand to Julio, who took it. They walked back to the mansion in silence, and Julio worked on making sure that his head was locked up nice and tight. His face still felt a little hot, and he wasn't sure his slouch was hiding the obvious hard-on he sported under his sweats. 

Back in the room, he dragged out his travel pack and threw a bunch of clothes in it – a clear pair of underwear, socks, his very best outfit at Star's insistence, shoes, clothes for Sunday – and some of his toiletries. He eyed the expired box of condoms, but what was the point now? He'd waited too long.

For the first time in his life, he didn't regret that fact or feel embarrassed about it. 

"I want to know you were the first, too," Julio said quietly, looking up at Star, who stared back with wide, blue eyes, that splotchy blush spreading over his neck and face. Julio had thought he would never see it again, but evidently, he could still find ways to surprise Star in a manner he had no immunity to.

They took the train in, leaving the borrowed car at the station, escaping without anyone noticing. They had been immensely lucky, Julio realized, but after a lifetime of disasters, he was probably due for something good. _This_ hadn't been quite what he was expecting, but whatever. _This_ was good enough. 

I'll ask him tomorrow, Julio decided, looking at Star, just what exactly _this_ is. He had his suspicions – the clues were there – but Star clearly didn't intend to tell him yet, so Julio wasn't going to make him. 

Star stared out the window of the train, eyes flickering over the landscape. He'd paid for the tickets, much to Julio's surprise, and insisted that he had a plan that Julio was not allowed to inquire about. It was a microcosm of the whole week: Star, in some semblance of control; Julio, just going along with it.

As they pulled into Grand Central, Julio stood up and slipped his pack on, swaying with the movement of the slowing train. Star followed him out into the busy terminal, his bag over his shoulder, his swords in their case in his hand. He hadn't been willing to stray this far away from the Mansion without them. 

"This way," Star said, after a moment of looking around the concourse, and headed for the exit.

Star led them to a hotel – a nice one, better than anywhere Julio had ever stayed in his life – and assured Julio that he had prepared adequately for this moment. He had _researched_ , and Julio suddenly realized what Star had been doing that day in the computer lab. He watched as Star handed over a ridiculous stack of bills that he fished out of his bag, the woman at the desk visibly surprised, but she also looked like he felt half the time around Star: caught in his orbit, impossible to resist, a little dazed.

Julio took the key card from Star as they rode up the elevator to the ninth floor. He swiped them into the room, and Star's eyes widened as he looked around, leaving his stuff by the door. Star walked to the window, looking out, then examined the bed before marching into the bathroom. Trying not to smile, Julio sat down on the king-sized bed and laid back, testing the mattress, refusing to think beyond that.

"There is a very large bathtub with a very large television," Star said. "We will bathe together later."

"Whatever you want, amigo," Julio replied, rolling onto his stomach. "This is really fucking nice."

Star ran his hand over the curtains. "It was very expensive. They required a large cash deposit."

"I can," Julio started then stopped at the look Star levelled at him. "Never mind. Thanks for splurging."

Star nodded then turned on the television in the bedroom, sitting down on the end of the bed. Julio rolled his eyes, but watched for a bit with Star before getting up to take a piss. Both the bathtub and the television in the bathroom were enormous, Julio noted blandly. Two men would fit in the tub easily. 

They watched TV for a while, sprawled on the bed, before Star told him to get dressed in his best outfit. It wasn't anything fancy – a basic dark grey suit, white dress shirt, black tie – but it had been tailored, and it fit him well. He'd worn it once before to a cousin's wedding, and he'd been so shitfaced he barely even remembered being there. Star, likewise, dressed in his very best: hair tied back in a knot, navy blue suit that tapered neatly at his waist, white shirt, silver tie. Julio tied it for him when Star asked. 

"There," Julio said, tightening it at his neck with a tug, Star's gaze locked on his hands. "Easy."

"Who taught you?"

"My father," Julio replied with a half-smile. "He didn't give me much, but I can tie a Windsor knot."

Star nodded, pressing a quick kiss to his mouth, then stepped back. "We have reservations."

"Who are you and what have you done with Shatterstar?" Julio demanded with a laugh, but he grabbed his wallet and the key card and followed Star out the door, noting that Star had left his swords behind. Twice in the last two days; that had to be a new record. 

Once in the elevator, he looked at their reflection in the mirrored walls of the elevator, and he couldn't help but admire how hot they looked, both of them, together. Half the time, Julio couldn't be bothered to clean himself up, but when he did, he couldn't deny he was good-looking, years of training resulting in a fit, strong body. And he looked better with short hair, he thought, running his fingers through the dark strands, messing it up stylishly. It suited him. 

Julio then tried to imagine Star without the waist-length red hair, and just couldn't. It was too weird.

Star led them to a Mexican restaurant, and Julio almost laughed, except it was the most thoughtful thing anyone had done for him in possibly his entire life. Walking through the entrance, he inhaled sharply, the air heavy with fragrant and familiar spices, and between the smells and the sounds of the music above them, his heart ached deeply in his chest, thinking of Guadalajara and his mother's house. 

They were way over-dressed, but when the owner of the restaurant came up to them, Star gave his name – he had made the reservation under Shatterstar, of course – and she sat them near the back, tucked away in an alcove. "Is this your first time here?" She asked, in English, handing out the menus.

"Yes, we are from elsewhere," Star said, in perfect Spanish, just slightly accented it. 

"I can see at least one you is a long way from home," she replied, switching languages.

"We both are," Julio said, sharing a secret smile with Star, who nodded. "I was born in Guadalajara." 

"I could tell," she assured him. "My name is Camila. I'll give you boys a few minutes with the menus."

Star politely flipped through it, his legs bumping Julio's under the table. Everything looked amazing, and Julio wasn't sure what he wanted to eat. The food at the X-Mansion was incredible, and he had no complaints about it – just everything else there – but nothing compared to the food he grew up with.

"You decide for me," Star said, closing his menu. "I will trust you."

"I seriously want everything," Julio replied, tapping his fingers against his lower lip. 

Camila placed two glasses of water on the table as he said that, and she took the menus off the table with a flourish. "Then let me cook for you. I raised three healthy sons, and I kept them all well fed."

"Please," Julio said, and Star nodded. "You sure you're ready for this, Star? You hate flavour."

"It is growing on me," Star replied, taking a sip of water. "You're happy with this?"

"Yeah, very. Thanks."

They lapsed into silence, staring at each other across the table, and Julio felt the first stirrings of desire, which he had done a pretty good job, until then, at outright ignoring. Star was crazy hot in that suit, and Julio didn't need to imagine what Star looked like underneath, because he had seen him, he knew. Just like he knew what that naked body would look like below him, legs spread. It was just that last missing piece, and Julio's fevered imagination worked overtime filling in the blanks for him. His cock, in Star.

Julio took a long drink of water, and Star watched him knowingly, bumping their knees under the table. 

They talked for a bit about what Star had seen on TV recently – he had started watching a few horror movies, which he described as mundane and not at all frightening, convinced he could take on every villain and easily win – and Julio made a few suggestions, confident none of them were good ones. It was almost impossible to scare a guy who had seen what Star had seen and lived what Star had lived.

Camila arrived with the food, an embarrassing number of plates, and he thanked her kindly. He surveyed their meal – tamales wrapped in corn husks, shrimp tostadas, enchiladas with beans and rice, barbacoa and carnitas with a stack of warm handmade tortillas and a huge bowl of guacamole – and he started doling out the food, filling the two empty plates with a bit everything as Star watched intently.

Julio ate until he couldn't fit anything else in, and he was happy that Star tried everything given to him. Not that he ever really complained about food, but Julio felt it was important that he shared this little piece of him with Star and, even more meaningful, that Star enjoyed the experience and the new tastes.

Julio nudged Star with his foot. "So?"

Star looked up, mid-bite, determined to finish the last of the barbacoa, and nodded, eyes bright again. "It's very good."

"I'll cook for you sometime," Julio said, watching Star lick some sauce off his thumb, "if you want."

Star nodded. 

Once Star was satisfied, Camila took the plates away – very pleased by their appetites – and Star settled the bill, carefully counting out the money and, when Julio reminded him, left Camila a big tip. Outside, Julio stretched blissfully, sated without being grossly full, and smiled at Star, who was watching him.

"Back to the hotel?" Julio asked casually, and Star shook his head. "Lead on then. I'm all yours."

Star led them to a pharmacy, and Julio didn't need to ask why. Without say anything, Julio went inside, Star close behind him, and went straight to the condom aisle. They stood there for a while, shoulder to shoulder, looking over the options, but Julio didn't know jack shit about buying condoms, and Star probably knew even less. Julio wasn't even sure if it mattered which kind they got. And lube, well.

He probably knew even less about lube, if that was possible. 

"You decide," Star said eventually, glancing over at him, and Julio rolled his eyes.

He grabbed a box of condoms, larger-sized, because he was intimately familiar with both their dicks at this point, and it seemed like the most appropriate, even if he felt like he was bragging a bit. Star nodded his approval, silent beside him. The lubes were a mystery, so he grabbed a water-based one in the mid-range price point, figuring it would be good enough. Star followed him up to the cashier, who glanced at them briefly before ringing the items up and putting them into a brown paper bag. Star paid.

By the time they got to the hotel, Julio was a strange mix of nerves and desperation, the bag held tightly in his arms. It didn't help that Star kept looking at him, then the bag, then back at him, gaze knowing. 

In the elevator, as the doors slid closed, Star leaned over and kissed him briefly. Julio blinked at him.

"What was that for?" Julio asked.

"For everything," Star replied. 

Back in the room, he tugged off his jacket and loosened his tie while toeing off his shoes. Star did the same before going in the bathroom, turning on the water, and Julio thought, oh right, I have to live through that, too. With shaking fingers, he unbuttoned his dress shirt and hung it up neatly on a hanger. He moved his hands to his pants, but Star stilled him with a damp touch. Julio looked up as Star popped the hook and pulled down his zipper, kneeling down to pull the pants off his legs and remove his socks.

Star stood, his gaze heady, and Julio unbuttoned his shirt slowly, careful, before pushing it off Star's shoulders, pausing to hang it up, too. He opened Star's pants and urged them down his legs, taking them and his socks off in one quick movement, before rising to his feet. Star touched his chest, lightly, then turned.

"The tub is almost full," Star said, walking back into the bathroom. "Do not remove your underwear."

"Sure," Julio agreed easily, sounding way more calm and collected than he felt, then followed Star in.

Julio stuck his fingers in the water, swishing them around, the water blazingly hot and perfect, and Star turned off the tap. He took Julio by the hand and pulled him over to the mirror, and Julio snorted a little, under his breath, looking at Star's reflection. From behind, Star removed Julio's briefs then shimmied out of his own before meeting Julio's gaze in the mirror. He put a hand on Julio's stomach. 

"You good?" Julio asked eventually, amused, and Star nodded, moving towards the tub. 

Julio climbed in behind him, hissing a little at the heat of the water, but it was good, comfortable. He lolled his head back, against the cool ceramic, and Star ran his hands up and down Julio's legs, sitting in the vee of his open thighs. Julio glanced up, and Star stared back, a profound expression on his face. 

"Do you need to talk about this?" Julio asked. "Are you nervous or anything like that?"

"Not nervous, at least not as I understand nervousness," Star said. "I feel ... like I do before a battle."

"And I know you like that," Julio replied with a smile. "You don't mind the idea of me, you know ..."

"It will be new, but all of this has been new to me." Star paused. "Are _you_ nervous, Julio?"

Julio laughed, shrugging helplessly. "Who the hell knows? I'm a little worried I'm gonna come the minute I get near you, like, you have no idea." Though Star probably did have some idea, considering Julio had been hard since halfway through dinner. Even now, his cock jutted out between his legs.

"Would it help if you masturbated? Your refractory period is biologically acceptable for your age." 

"Probably," Julio agreed, and lowered his hand between his legs, circling his fingers around his dick. Star sat back a little, openly watching him, a tongue running between his lips, wetting them, and Julio stroked a bit harder, not really focused on his own pleasure but the act of coming, taking the edge off.

"Julio," Star said suddenly, and Julio paused just long enough for Star to slide forward and lift him out of the water without warning, his ass landing on the smooth ceramic tile that edged the tub, and then Star's mouth was greedily on him, sucking and licking, his tongue working intently over Julio's aching cock. 

" _Dios_ , Star," Julio panted, one dripping heel pressed against Star's back, the other braced against the side of the tub. He touched his hand to the knot of Star's hair, warning him, and then he came, gasping. 

Star's hands guided him back into the water, and then Star leaned into him, kissing him deeply. Julio held on and kissed back, his hand dipping between them to work at Star's cock, stroking him, over and over, until he came in the water. He collapsed bonelessly against Julio, face against Julio's neck. They laid there like that for a while, comfortable, until Star turned onto his back, setting against Julio's chest.

"May I turn on the television?" Star asked.

Julio smiled. "Yeah, go ahead. It would be a shame to waste this opportunity."

"Precisely," Star said, pleased. 

They watched until the water began to cool, staying on a single episode of a comedy that Julio didn't recognize. It wasn't particularly funny or interesting, so he kept his attention on the slope of Star's naked shoulders, and the soft skin behind his ears, and the faint shadow of stubble on his jawline.

"Okay," Star said eventually, turning off the television and standing up quickly. He tugged the elastic out of his hair, letting it cascade down his damp back. "I'm ready, and that show was not very good."

Julio accepted the towel Star handed to him and climbed out of the water, drying off quickly, focusing most of his attention on his cock, which was already rock hard again. Without preamble, Star strode out of the bathroom and over to the bed, pulling back the covers and laying down on his back. It wasn't exactly the most seductive scene Julio could imagine, but he really didn't need much, not right then. 

He picked up the paper bag and dumped the contents onto the bedside table. He opened the box of condoms and pulled two out, just in case, then made sure the seal was removed from the lube. When he turned back, Star had lifted his head, watching him curiously. Julio realized he probably should have watched less porn and read more sexual health websites, but he got the gist of it. Probably, anyway.

He crawled between Star's open legs, then popped the cap on the lube and squirted some on his hand, spreading it over Star's asshole, the practical nature of it not hampering his hard-on in the slightest. He liberally coated his own fingers, surprised at how slippery it was, then paused. "Hey, are you good?"

"I will tell you if I am not," Star assured him, eyes fixed on Julio's hand. "Please go ahead."

Julio prodded Star with one fingers, surprised when it slid in effortlessly to the first knuckle, but Star just sighed a little. There was a bit more resistance to the rest of the finger, but then it was inside Star, gripped tightly by his muscle. Slowly, Julio withdrew his finger and then slid it in again, out and in, until it felt like Star wanted another finger. Julio added more lube, then started fucking him again, out and in, Star's hips moving with him. When he added the third finger, Star toes dug into the mattress.

"You like that?" Julio asked, watching his fingers disappear into Star's amazing body, finally letting himself think about how sexy it was, finger-fucking him for the first time, and how breathy Star sounded with each thrust of Julio's hand, and the way his cock arched heavily on his tense belly. 

"Yes," Star said, his accent heavy, his neck bared, and Julio leaned up to kiss him there, twisting his fingers inside Star, slick and wet with lube, as Star squirmed against the pristine white sheets. "Julio."

"Yeah," Julio agreed, removing his fingers and reaching for one of the condoms, which he tore right through, but he got the second one open without an issue, pinching the tip and rolling it down his cock. When Julio leaned forward between his legs, Star immediately wrapped them around Julio's hips. His gaze flickered to Julio's eyes, and Julio touched a hand to Star's jaw. "You are totally sure about this?" 

"Julio, please," Star said, pulling him down for a kiss, open-mouthed, tongue eagerly sliding inside. 

Julio pulled back, seriously concerned about coming if Star kept that up, then quickly coated his cock in lube. With his eyes closed, he met Star's waiting mouth again and pushed forward, the head of his dick slipping in every direction except the one he wanted. Star let him go for a moment, and Julio looked down and tried again. This time he popped inside, just enough, Star's ass gripping him tightly.

Holy shit, he thought helplessly, toes curling against the mattress, rubbing his hand over Star's thigh. Just being in this deep, so hot and snug, and knowing it was Star beneath him, making those small little Shatterstar noises he always made when something really surprised him was almost too much. Julio gave Star a quick once-over. Star's skin was pink and blotchy and amazing, and the look on his face was a mix of surprise and contemplation. His breath came shallow between his slightly parted lips.

Julio ran his hand over Star's chest, thumb tracing the erratic beat of his heart, and it felt powerful, incredible, to have Star open to him like this, his body long and loose with pleasure. Julio moved forward again, watching Star's face, and he made another noise, his tongue coming out to wet his lips. And inside, he was just so blisteringly hot, so insanely snug, that Julio didn't know if he could go on. 

And then Star's hands were on his face again, his mouth demanding another kiss, and Julio focused on that instead of the impossible squeeze of Star around his dick as he slowly slid in, inch by inch, until he was fully seated. Star shifted impatiently against him, but Julio dug a hand into his hip, stilling him.

"I still have a hair trigger, dude," Julio murmured. "Especially with this. Gimme a second."

"Your penis feels huge inside me," Star replied, which Julio assumed was his version of dirty talk. 

Julio took a moment to get his thoughts together, letting the urgency pass over him like a warm wind, and when he was sure he could live through a few thrusts without outright dying, started to move again. He kept his eyes open, fixed on Star's face, and Star looked back at him, pupils wide, lips parted. They moved together, Star's legs wrapped tightly around his hips, his hands on Julio's back, clutching at him.

Through his daze, he moved his hand over Star's cock, which lay hard against his belly, slick at the tip. Julio stroked it as he fucked him, trying to match the rhythm of his thrusts. They continued to look at each other, eyes locked, hiding nothing. Remember this, Julio thought, remember what he gave you.

He barely understood what he meant, except that he knew, without a doubt, Star had changed him.

Julio quickened his movements, sliding in and out, his hand coaxing Star to the edge and then over it, coming with a cry all over his stomach. His ass pulsed around Julio's cock, dragging his own orgasm out, buried deep inside Star's body. Star kissed him through it, biting at his lips, sucking at his tongue. Settling against him, Julio exhaled sharply and lay there for a long time, until his heart rate slowed.

Star held him, brushing a hand through his hair, probably expecting him to freak out again, but Julio was totally fine, clear-headed and content. His worries hadn't gone away, precisely, but in this moment, he felt healthy and normal, like he had just had a really great moment with a really great friend. 

"Thank you," Star said. "That was exactly what I wanted. Thank you for all of this, Julio."

"I'm glad," Julio replied, swallowing hard. "And same, you know. Thank you. I'll remember this."

Star nodded, letting him go so Julio could pull out carefully. Sitting back, he removed the condom and got up to toss it in the garbage can in the bathroom. He also wet a facecloth with warm water, returning to the bed and, after a silent question and the bob of Star's head, wiped away the excess lube and the stripes of come on Star's belly. He then got up one more time, turned off the light and climbed into bed. 

"There is so much room for sleeping," Star commented. "That bed at the Institute is too narrow."

"I was wondering if you had even noticed," Julio replied, tugging up the blankets.

"I didn't mind it," Star admitted, shifting a little closer, trying and failing at being subtle, and Julio held out his arm, Star sliding underneath it and laying his head on Julio's chest. "But this is much better."

"Yeah," Julio agreed, closing his eyes, surprised to find Star already asleep against him, just like that.

All of this, just like that, Julio thought. Julio took a deep breath, relaxed, and quickly followed him.


	10. Sunday

Julio woke up against Star's back, his knees tucked behind his, one arm slung possessively over his waist. When he opened his eyes, all he saw was Star's hair, wild and tangled and tickling his nose a bit. He shifted his gaze to the TV, which was on, volume down to almost nothing, and he snorted softly.

"This television is magnificent," Star said. "I had begun to doubt the technology here on Earth."

"I'm glad you're happy," Julio murmured sleepily, debating whether he should move or not. Not, he decided. Star was so warm and comfortable, and he didn't seem like he wanted Julio to stop, so Julio lay there a little longer, lightly dozing, morning erection pleasantly pressed into the line of Star's ass.

Eventually, he got up to piss, padding naked across the hotel room, but that was more need than want.

Since he was in there, he brushed his teeth. Looking at himself in the mirror, he spit the toothpaste in the sink then stood back, thinking about what he wanted. They lived such chaotic lives – the last week notwithstanding – and they might never have this sort of time again. He couldn't stop thinking about what they'd done last night – even his dreams had been focused on it – and he wanted to do it again.

He wanted to feel Star over him, in him. Whatever happened, he wanted to have that. 

Julio walked back into the main room, pausing in front of the bed, and Star, who was now sitting up, pulled his eyes away from the screen and stared at him. It was ridiculous, but in that moment, even though Star had seen him naked a million times by now, he felt the most exposed he had ever been.

"What time is check out?" Julio asked, instead of the question he wanted to ask. 

"Noon" – Julio glanced at the clock; it was a little after eight – "I would like to order room breakfast."

Just ask him, Julio thought, follow your own advice. "That sounds great."

"Yes," Star agreed, drawing out the word like he'd begun to realize there was something more going on.

Julio laughed shakily, scratching the back of his head. "I don't know why I'm so nervous about this."

"Anything you want to ask," Star said quietly, "just ask."

Words Julio remembered saying once. It felt like forever ago. 

"I want you to fuck me," Julio blurted out, "if you're interested."

"Of course I am," Star replied, turning off the television without a second of hesitation. Julio could tell by looking at him just how into the idea he was, his cock heavy between his legs, big and thick. It would take a bit of work, Julio thought in a daze, to work up to that. Thankfully, they had the time. 

Julio pulled the blankets off the bed and climbed onto it, doing the same thing that Star had done the night before and laying down on his back. Star swept his hand over the length of Julio's body, starting from his face all the way down to his toes, and Julio shivered, feeling the tension begin to ease out.

"Are you sure about this, Julio?" Star asked, brushing his knuckles against Julio's jaw, and Julio nodded with a sharp exhale. "I still do not entirely understand why, but I know this act has certain connotations attached to it, and I know this is something you worry about. Just because I want it, does not mean ..."

"I appreciate the thought, Star, I do," Julio assured him, cutting him off, and he knew why Star felt he had to ask, considering what had happened by the pond, "but it's all semantics at this point. I know that. Pretty much the minute I kissed you because I wanted to, I was admitting I was attracted to guys. My family wouldn't really see the difference, so, like, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna hate it or ... you."

"We should have talked about these things much earlier," Star said with a slight frown.

Julio smiled a little. "Live and learn, Star. Welcome to life. Now ... are we gonna do this or what?"

Star nodded, sliding over Julio's body and settling between his legs, and he leaned down to kiss Julio, gentle at first, dry lips against dry lips, and then deeper, wetter. Star paused once, to flip his hair so it laid entirely over one shoulder, and Julio immediately smoothed a hand over it as Star's mouth came over him again. Julio lifted one knee, pressing it to Star's side, and Star's hand moved under his thigh, hoisting it higher. They made out until Julio was squirming, hips lifting, desperate for any contact.

Star paused, leaning over to the bedside table, and Julio took the opportunity to run his hands over his tightly muscled torso, which made Star shiver. When he came back, he started kissing Julio again, but this time, Julio could feel a slippery hand between his legs, spreading the lube against his asshole. It was a little cold, and definitely a lot different, but he focused on the familiar things, like Star's mouth. 

The first finger slid in, careful but insistent, and Julio closed his eyes for a moment, considering. Definitely new, but other than that, he liked it, especially when Star moved his hand, gently stretching him. The second finger stung a bit, but again, it was mostly just something he hadn't felt before and wasn't exactly sure what he needed his body to do to help things along. Relax probably, but it was hard. 

Star's mouth continued to distract him, his tongue moving against Julio's.

It felt like forever until Star added a third finger, and when he did, Julio couldn't stop himself from making a small little sound, because it was suddenly a lot and Star's hands were really big and it felt totally amazing to be this stretched out around Star's fingers. Star stopped for a moment, letting Julio get used to it, then began moving them again, in and out, pressed tightly together then pulled apart. 

"I didn't do this much work for you," Julio mumbled, just to stop himself from making those noises.

"I didn't need it," Star assured him, kissing the corner of his mouth. "Your body is different."

"Fucking you with my fingers was really hot, though."

"I agree," Star said, twisting his fingers in, and Julio gasped sharply. "Tell me when you are ready."

"A little more," Julio murmured, biting his lower lip, "just to be sure."

It wasn't that much longer before Julio decided this was probably good enough, and he reached blindly for the box of condoms and the bottle of lube. After a few fumbles, he brought them to the bed, but when he handed the condom to Star, Star just stared back at him. Julio raised an eyebrow, surprised. 

"Did Cable not give you the safe sex talk?"

"I assured him it would never be required," Star replied, making a face. "I was a fool."

"Trust me, you didn't miss anything except extreme embarrassment. On both sides. Come up here."

Julio assumed Star would slide up next to him, but he straddled Julio's chest instead. It was both hilariously funny and insanely hot, and Julio took a deep breath, ignoring his first temptation to see how much he could fit in his mouth from this angle. With slow, exaggerated movements and Star's eyes fixed on his hands, Julio ripped open the foil packet and made sure the condom was facing the right way, before pinching the latex tip and rolling it down Star's rock hard cock, all the way to the root. Then, he squirted some of the lube on his fingers and stroked Star's erection a few times, coating him. 

"Okay," Julio said, "ready."

Star nodded, sliding back down, and then he leaned over Julio, guiding his cock between Julio's legs. Julio breathed deeply, in and out, forcibly relaxing, and then Star was pushing into him, agonizingly slow, but Julio couldn't imagine him moving any faster. It hurt, just a little, but he was used to physical pain, and every time Star stopped to give Julio time to get used to the new depth, it felt almost good.

Star bent down to kiss him, evidently sensing Julio needed something to focus on that wasn't Star's cock stretching him impossibly wide. It worked, and soon Star was fully inside him, every muscle in his body straining with the tension of keeping still, letting Julio get used to it, but Julio had waited long enough. With his legs, he lifted his hips up, the burn present but manageable, and rocked against Star.

Star looked at him, then slid one hand under his ass, lifting him. He pulled out slightly, just barely, then slid back in, then repeated the motion, lengthening it each time, until Julio was moving with his thrusts. Skimming his hands over Star's back, he urged him on, over and over, his own cock forgotten. It was all about Star, and getting him off, and enjoying when Star's body tensed, and he came with a groan.

Julio laid there for a while, staring up at him, and then he let his hand drift down, but Star caught his wrist and stopped him. Still inside him, no longer as hard as he had been, Star didn't move for a long time, just looked at him, and Julio returned his gaze, belly taut with need, letting Star take the scene in.

Eventually, Julio tried to touch himself again, but Star finally wrapped his hand around Julio's cock, and that was all it took before Julio was shaking to pieces beneath him, clenching around Star's dick.

Star watched him silently as he tried to catch his breath, then pulled out slowly and removed the condom. He laid down beside Julio, on his side, and Julio smiled at him. Some part of Star relaxed at that, and they stayed like that until Julio couldn't stand the feeling of lube between his legs anymore. 

"We should probably order food," Julio said, conscious of the time. At Star's nod, Julio rolled over on his belly and stretched across Star to grab the menu. Star's hand immediately rested on his bare ass, holding him there, and Julio smirked. "Do you want me to call? They offer the usual breakfast shit."

"That's fine," Star said.

Draped over Star like a blanket, Julio called room service and placed their order – fried eggs, over-medium for him and sunny-side up for Star, bacon for both, white toast for him and brown toast for Star, sides of potatoes and fruit, and a carafe of coffee – and then he climbed out of bed, even though Star protested. He really needed a shower. "It'll be about half an hour. I'm just gonna get cleaned up."

Star nodded, but Julio wasn't at all surprised when Star ended up in the shower stall with him. He just went with it, especially knowing how limited opportunities like these were. And it was amazingly intimate to have Star wash his hair for him and use his hand to rub the bar of hotel soap across his body, shying away from nothing. Star washed between his legs, careful of his mild discomfort. He could still feel where Star had been, and he tried not to think about the trip back to the mansion.

Star allowed Julio to return the favour, and there was just so much hair to get lost in – it was almost overwhelming – as he lathered the shampoo with his fingers. It wasn't long before both of them were hard again. Once Star had rinsed all the soap off, they jerked each other lazily, kissing under the stream of hot water. They came together, spilling onto the shower floor, evidence washing down the drain.

At the knock on the door, Star stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Dripping wet, Star answered it, and the hotel staff member came in with the food. Watching through the crack in the door, Julio hid in the bathroom until he was gone, impressed Star remembered to tip him. 

Julio came out in a towel, walking over to the bed, where Star had already turned the television back on. They sat at the end of it, using the rolling delivery tray as a table, and ate. Julio had two cups of coffee, exhausted to his bones, more emotional than physical, but sometimes that was more draining.

They spent the rest of the morning watching TV in bed, tucked under the covers in some semblance of a cuddle, skin to skin, Star's hand idly stroking his bare back. The picture and sound quality really was amazing, and he listened as Star explained why this television was so much better than anything he'd seen before. But once he started implying he wanted to take it apart and study it, Julio stopped him.

"We should probably get dressed and pack up," Julio said.

Star sighed deeply, probably more annoyed about being separated from his new best friend than anything else, and Julio rolled his eyes. Julio dragged on a clean pair of underwear then shook out his bunched up jeans and wrinkled t-shirt, ignoring Star, his judgmental look and his neatly folded clothes. Julio then stuffed all of his clothing from yesterday into his pack and forced his toiletries in on top. The zipper protested a little, but he managed to get it closed without having to fold anything unnecessarily.

And then it was ten minutes to noon, and they had to leave. Julio took one last look around – double checking that Star had packed the leftover condoms and lube – then followed Star out into the hall. He was in a strange mood. Not a bad one, not at all, just kind of reserved, quiet and deeply introspective. 

It had been a really good twenty-four-hours. Really fun. Really eye-opening. 

Maybe that was it. Julio felt much surer about who he was and what he wanted, even though it still scared the shit out of him. He wasn't denying things to himself anymore at least. It was a start.

They didn't talk again until they were waiting in line for the train, when Star leaned over, touching a hand to the small of Julio's back, and whispered in his ear, in Spanish, "can you still feel where I was?"

"Dude," Julio admonished, because _come on_ , but when he looked back at Star, Star looked serious, like it had been an actual question and not an attempt at poorly-timed foreplay. Was it the way he stood? The way he kept shifting his weight from one leg to the other? Julio looked straight ahead. "Yeah."

"The problem with a healing factor is nothing lasts," Star murmured, "not physically."

"Pretty sure I'm feeling it for the both of us," Julio replied blandly, wishing they had a better language to speak in. Maybe he'd learn Cadre for all of Star's embarrassing personal questions in public needs. His face felt hot, and he wasn't lying. He could still feel it deeply, an intimate, ever present sort of ache.

How was he going to go back to the X-Mansion, feeling like he was feeling? Everyone would know. He felt like it had to be obvious on his face, or in the way he walked, or by the way Star looked at him. Because Julio could barely glance at Star without remembering how completely amazing Star had looked when he was being fucked, and he knew if Star didn't give it away first, he probably would. 

Julio closed his eyes. It was going to be a long train ride.

Star didn't bring it up again, but he did keep staring at Julio from time to time, gaze hot and knowing. Julio thought about finally asking what this had all been about, like he'd decided to do yesterday, but he just didn't want to. I want to keep this going, Julio realized, so maybe if I never ask, it never ends. 

The trip back to the mansion was uncomfortable, for a hundred different reasons. 

When they got back to their room and dropped their stuff off, Julio felt a gentle nudge at his head from Cable, asking the team to gather in the War Room, in uniform and mission ready. They changed quickly. Star slid his swords into the harness on his back as Julio zipped the picture of his family, the recipes and his passport into the inner pocket of his pack. He left the joints and the expired condoms. 

As they turned to leave, Star looked at him, mouth drawn severely. 

"Star?"

"Nothing," Star said after a moment's hesitation. "I am fine. It is simply ..."

"Yeah, I know," Julio replied, his voice rough, and he kissed Star once, lightly, on the mouth. 

And then things went sideways. 

That was the last thing he remembered clearly for a week. He remembered being sent out with the team, Jimmy being absent for some reason, and he mostly remembered that they were investigating something ... important. He remembered it had been important, and it had led them, after days of investigating, to somewhere in the Midwest. Illinois or Nebraska or Missouri. Somewhere like that. He remembered Dani being there, and ... the Mutant Liberation Front, maybe, but that didn't make sense. 

There was a faint memory of being captured. Of lying on a cold, metal table, being examined, and seeing Tabs and Star there, restrained the same way, and his eyes had met Star's, and then ... dreams. Nightmares he couldn't wake up from, and that should have been comforting, because he always dreamed like that, the same old horrors on the same rotating schedule, but something felt wrong.

By the time he woke up from the sedation, he'd missed the fight and most of the previous week of his life had been basically erased by whatever hardcore drugs they had given him, but there was no time to recover. They were in New Mexico, apparently, and it was Sunday again according to 'Berto, who looked a little surprised Julio even had to ask. Julio had no idea how that happened, but here he was. 

"Ric, are you fine to co-pilot?" Terry asked. 

"Yeah," he answered, half because he meant it and half because he still felt trapped in a nightmare. He wanted to talk to Star, to see how he was feeling, but there was just no fucking time. So he pushed all of that away and just concentrated on being Rictor, mutant with an ego the size of his powers, who wasn't fucked up inside but mostly just wanted to kick ass and take names. It was an easy role to play.

By the time they picked up Domino and joined Cable, he was feeling a bit more like he was awake and not just going through the motions. Dani was with them, so _that_ had actually happened, and he focused on that fuzzy memory as a way to ground himself. He hadn't lost everything. He clung to that thought. 

But then Cable was Cable, and Julio heard himself quitting X-Force again, but it felt far away, like it wasn't him saying it, but the blinding hot anger racing through his body, drowning everything else out. And somewhere above the roar in his ears, he heard Star quit, too, and decide to come with him to Mexico. Star, who Julio had assured he would never abandon again, and he had almost done it anyway.

_Fuck_ , Julio thought, feeling sick to his stomach. 

Once things settled down after Cable walked, Julio left the safe house to get some fresh air. He needed to think and find solid reasons why Star couldn't come with him, even though he wanted him to. He desperately wanted him there, but Star had to do what was best for him. Julio wasn't sure that was him. 

It didn't take him long to realize he was being followed – Star wasn't exactly hiding his presence – and Julio stopped once he felt they were far enough from everyone else to have privacy. Without Cable and Jimmy around that meant the house was still within sight, golden windows visible in the distance.

Julio sat down on a patch of grass that provided an awesome view of the Blue Ridge Mountains, even though it was getting pretty dark. Star settled next to him, hair loose around his shoulders, wearing only a white tank top despite the chill, barefoot with grey jeans and, weirdly, a red band around his wrist.

"What's up with that?" Julio asked, motioning to it with his chin.

Star shrugged. "It was with the clothes Cable provided me. It must be fashionable."

"Somewhere," Julio agreed with a weak smile. "How are you feeling? Okay?"

Star thought about it for a moment then nodded. "Physically, I am fine. My head is still ... strange."

"Yeah. Me too." Julio picked at the grass, hating that he felt so awkward and weird around Star. It felt like no time at all had passed between that day in New York and now, but it hadn't felt like this then. "Listen, what you said back there, about coming with me. This thing we've been doing, it doesn't mean you ... it doesn't mean you're stuck with me or whatever. That I'm expecting something from you."

Star stared at him then sharply shook his head. "I ask nothing from you except friendship."

"You can't make decisions like this with your dick. We shouldn't have ..." Julio closed his eyes and willed himself to say it, to force the words out, "anybody would have done those things with you."

"Julio."

"I'm just saying. Don't feel obligated to stay with me because you think you owe it to me. You don't."

"Stop talking," Star demanded loudly, and Julio stared at him. "The two are completely unrelated."

"You don't understand ..." Julio tried, but Star immediately cut him off.

"No, _you_ do not understand. That's not what this was about. Not at all."

"Then explain it to me," Julio said, the fight seeping out of him, feeling exhausted to his bones. "I think I've been pretty good about just going along with everything, but I need you to explain it to me now."

Star made a pained face. "It is so ridiculous, Julio. I thought it was a good idea at the time, but now ..."

"I promise I won't laugh or get angry or anything," Julio assured him, not even blaming Star when he frowned deeply, eyes pale and suspicious. "I'm sorry for being a dick, Star. It's been a weird day."

"It's okay. I am a dick as well, on occasion," Star said, drifting off a little, probably trying to change the subject, but Julio nudged him with his foot. They had to work this shit out, if Star wanted to come with him. Star sighed. "In an attempt to understand the age-appropriate behaviour expected of me, Theresa suggested I watch a genre of movies and television shows that I had previously dismissed. As I watched them, it occurred to me that I had never experienced any of those things I witnessed. I thought, perhaps, if I engaged in some of those behaviours, I would no longer feel so different from everyone else."

Julio flashed back to that night on the couch, Star's questions and how he'd responded to them.

"You had admitted to me, more than once, that you hadn't experienced all of the things you wanted to experience either. That you were also a virgin. Which I still cannot believe, Julio, you are _so_ attractive."

Julio fought to keep his expression neutral, but Star was making it almost impossible, like usual. 

"I thought, if we did them together, we could both benefit." Star lowered his eyes. "There was a list."

"Of course there was a list," Julio said flatly, aware his face was distorting into something weird despite his best intentions. None of this was surprising to him. Very little about Star surprised him anymore. 

"I didn't really expect to do most of the things on my list. Not so quickly. I knew I had no sexual preference for gender, and I believed you to have a very strong and vocal preference for females," Star added, his expression also shifting strangely, his gaze sliding towards Julio, "but then you ..."

"Then I turned out to be a sexually frustrated closet case," Julio supplied helpfully, dragging a hand over his burning face. He wasn't sure if he was embarrassed or turned on or whatever, thinking about it. "And I just fucking went along with it, no questions asked, which probably wasn't in your plans either."

"No," Star agreed easily, "I thought you would be far more reluctant. I quickly lost control of the situation. You never reacted like I expected you to react, but then again,” Star shrugged, “neither did I."

"Basically the perfect storm." 

"Yes, and because you kept agreeing, I kept suggesting new things." Star took a deep breath, playing with the red wristband on his arm. It was a nervous, human tick, but Julio didn't think this was the right time to mention it. "I did not truly expect anything beyond that first kiss, but you used your _tongue_." 

"That's how you kiss people," Julio replied defensively, "when you're making out with them."

"I know that _now_."

Julio huffed a little laugh, pressing a hand to his mouth. "I must've surprised the shit out of you."

"You were just so _responsive_ and so _honest_ with me," Star said, unable to keep the note of wonder out of his voice, and Julio blushed hard at that, shrinking into himself a little, but Star took his hand and placed it on the equally hot skin at his throat. In the dark, it would have been easy to hide, but Star wasn't doing that or letting Julio do it either. "Don't be embarrassed, Julio. It was merely unexpected."

"You could have stopped me."

"I didn't want to," Star replied, warm and fond. Julio wanted to look away, but Star had never been this expressive before. "As you revealed your desire to me, I began to understand my own. You showed me something I never thought I wanted to see, and it was ... _illuminating_. Even though you sometimes struggled for reasons I barely understood, you let me see all of you, and you were beautiful, Julio."

Julio made a weird noise, deep in his throat, and blinked a few times, fighting the heat in his eyes. 

"I never intended to hurt you or cause you any pain," Star said.

"You didn't," Julio whispered, voice hoarse. "You had no way of knowing that ... that I'm probably gay or that I have so many hangups about it. I wasn't lying. I was totally into everything we did together. It was amazing, being with you and experiencing all of that for the first time. It made things better for me. I mean, I only cried, like, once," Julio added, a little too wobbly to pull off the joke he was trying for.

"I am honoured that you shared that with me," Star said, putting a hand on Julio's forearm, and Julio folded his own fingers over the touch. "Just as I am honoured that you were there to witness my own growth. It wasn't perfect. My expectations were too high. I still do not feel emotion or sexual desire beyond the context of you, but I believe that will come. I know I am not an easy person to be around." 

"Fuck anyone who has ever made you think that," Julio said roughly. 

Star squeezed his arm. "Thank you. All I require is patience, and you have always given me that, even when it frustrates you. Emotions are complicated. I _am_ trying, but it is an incredibly difficult thing."

"I can see the change in you, Star. It's happening. You'll get there."

"I know," Star said.

Julio nodded. The logic was impeccable, very Shatterstar-like, but Julio could only imagine what Star had felt as Julio fucked up his well-laid plans every step of the way. No wonder he had always looked so surprised. He expected TV-like high school experiences and got messy Julio experiences instead. You'll both laugh about it someday, Julio assured himself pragmatically, chewing at his lower lip. 

"Julio," Star said suddenly, and Julio looked at him. "Regardless if _this_ continues between us or not, I am still your best friend, and I would like to help you end your family's black market business."

"You've never lived outside of X-Force," Julio said. "What if you don't like it?"

"Two weeks ago, I had never been kissed, or touched, or sucked, or fucked, and I had never done any of those things to anyone else either. I had never gone on a date or to a dance. I had never drank alcohol or done drugs. I had never played team sports or purchased condoms or snuck out or skinny-dipped. I had never even masturbated. Make no mistake," Star said, his accent thick, "I enjoyed _everything_ we did, but I am far more sure about going with you to Mexico than I was about any of those things."

Julio swallowed hard. "We won't have a lot of money."

"I came to Earth with nothing. As long as I have you, I will be fine."

"You can't kill any of my family members," Julio said. 

"I wouldn't try to," Star said sagely, "because I know you would not like it if I did."

Julio glanced down. "I'm a complete fuck up of a human being, on every possible level."

"That has never bothered me," Star assured him before adding, almost as an afterthought,"and you are too hard on yourself. You are merely trying to find yourself, like I am. I understand that now."

"I'm a really messy roommate," Julio pointed out.

"Believe me when I say I have noticed," Star replied. 

"We probably won't have a TV," Julio tried instead, unable to keep the smile out of his voice. 

"I will somehow survive."

Julio didn't really have any more reasons, and he looked away. It would be a massive help, and it would be amazing to show Star where he grew up and share his culture with him. It was also terrifying to think he was going to have such an impact on Star's development as a person when he was still such a fucking mess himself, but that also seemed a little like closing the barn door after the horse had bolted.

He was already doing it. Had been doing it long before they started sleeping together.

He resolved to try to be better at everything, even when Star's questions were embarrassingly personal.

They were best friends. Julio hadn't had one before, so he hadn't known what to do. He knew now. 

"Okay, then. I guess that's settled. You're coming with me to Mexico. I'll go ahead and get us plane tickets," Julio decided, standing up and brushing the grass off his pants with his hand. He looked down at Star, who had his face tilted upwards, eyes fixed on him. "Do you prefer the window or aisle seat?"

"I have never thought about it before," Star replied, rising to his feet. 

"This is the sorta boring shit we'll have to make decisions about in the real world," Julio said lightly.

"Then window, I suppose."

Julio smiled at him, wide and happy, and Star stared back, eyes bright, expression open. They stood there for a while like idiots, not touching, not doing anything but looking at each other. I really love him, Julio thought, at peace with it and whatever it meant. He didn't know what type of love it was, but he definitely loved him. He didn't tell Star, though, because Star didn't need to know. Maybe someday. 

"Can we still have sex with each other?" Star asked, with perfect timing, as usual.

"If you want to," Julio replied. "You know I'm up for it."

"We should create a new list together," Star said thoughtfully.

Julio bumped Star with his shoulder, grinning. "Sure, why not. It worked out so well the first time."

"I completely agree," Star said, looking pleased, and Julio laughed out loud, sudden and abrupt. 

This is going to be another weird ride, Julio thought. He was looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented along the way! 
> 
> The story ends at X-Force (Vol. 1) #70.
> 
> Star's List  
> Fool around  
> Make out with someone   
> Masturbate  
> Explore sexuality with best friend   
> Fool around on a couch  
> Drink and do drugs   
> Do body shots  
> Experience a hangover (Julio?)  
> Sneak out at night   
> Go skinny dipping  
> Play team sports  
> Have a homoerotic moment in shower with teammate  
> Go to a dance   
> Go on a date  
> Buy condoms  
> Lose virginity  
> **Support gay best friend (added later)


End file.
